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/ V The UPEI SUN, Thursday, December

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Baar Maureen the Hume: Maureen you ole , cheeseburger. You read us like a book. Only a person of your outstanding intellect would realize . our plot of the engineers overthrcwlof Pisquid after Pisquid the world. We in engineering weren't counting on someone of your maturity who had experienced the second World War. Our tactics (Nazi desensitization tactics) are second hand news to you. I hope you haven't learned of our plans to brainwash all left—handed Mormon speakers into triple x rated porno stars. ' Maureen you win, our outlook on life has changed completely. Just one of your small letters, and years of our scheming and planning — obliterated. Your intelligence Cannot go unappreciated, so we, , the engineers, in co— operation with the local neo—nazi movement are honoring you with a doctorate of psych— analysis, which may be picked up in the bathroom of second floor main. There willvbe a roll of them on a dispenser next ' to the toilet. Sincerely, Angus Orford President of UPEI Engineers

A new fad has been sweeping the campus capturing laughs from even the solemnest people. Even the most . serious and cynical bastards are cracking a smile at this weird and far—out‘fad. They call it "Bioitis" and it involves some very funny but unpleasant moves. The "Bio" in real life is a low form of life which obtains pleasure by dissecting and eventually eating other forms of life (usually on the same intelligence scale as their own). Another of their greater pleasures are to challenge different people to soccer games on Friday nights.

AnYl'U-p fad

\THE

page 8

\

3,

af, ,

itself entails dressing up and looking like a biologist (bio). Standard dress are rubber boots, smelly wool socks, baggy overalls or denims, dirty baggy - sweater, and a muddy cap. These may, or may not be covered with a long blue'labcoat / _ stained with- fish or / frog guts. Those who , want to go all the way and really look like a bio, either cosmetically or medically, "do" their faces up to. have a severe case of acne (pizza face).

As far as ho»: long the fad will- last I do . not know. Its perfectly harmless but our problem is thebio's themselves. We can only hope that they'll

either do themseleves

in under their own

small scalpels during

a shOrtage of pig ‘

fetus specimens or just

die of starvation during

that same shortage. ' Next Week: Pig

fetus" vsabbctaging a

way to rid the world

of bios.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

Hey man, how do' you breathe through that thing?!-

George was in the, hospital for two months for a prostrate operation. When he got home he found out his wife was pregnant. This severly depressed him so he went to a marriage counsellor to find " out why his wife got - ' pregnant. The counsellor ' explained,"This is what we Call a grudge pregnancy!“ 7 - ~

"What's that?" ‘ asked George. ’

The counsellor replied,"It's when somebody else has it in for you." ’ , More things you cu ht m- ,The ugliest girl in grade three. Offend - One of the _ things this article is trying to accomplish. ,,

‘ ENGINEEE'S

p

a being. , - ‘ Artsie - What plays

Engineer — a most maligned‘and misunder- stood student. An

' intelligent, capable

and sophisticated mum

fri sbee during final

'BIoWEEkiY'. - '

'l u mmm

exam week. What majors in rat psychology and expects to get a job.‘ What is found in. the 1' 7 student loungeSkipping one of seven;hcurs of.

lecturesw ' ‘

AFFIUENTIAL INOOHOLI‘SM’ ' .

'I had 12 bottle of whisky in Was told by my mother, (God forbid) to empty the contents dam the sink, "or else" so I

said, I would .

I ‘ulled the cork from the firstbottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass which I drank. the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with the exception Of one glass, I drank. - I pulled the cork from the third bottle and - 60393 the sink with the

pulled the . contents

exception of one glass which I drank. thecork fromthe fourth sirflcandpmredthe bottle down the glass which I drank. the bottle from the next glass and drank all but one sink of kit, throwing the rest down the cork. .I pulled the sink from the next, bottle and poured the cork down the glass. I corked the sink with therglass, bottled the

When I had emptied

everytlu'ngI steadied the house with one hand, ' I counted the bottles, corks, glasses, and sinks ' with the otherwhich were 29, and as the heuse

came by I counted them again and finally had all the houses in one bottle which I drank. '

I am under the affluence» in incohol as some thinkle peep I am, nor are .1 half so think as I drunk I ambut I fool so feelish -‘ ‘ I don't know who is me and the drunkerVI stand

drank and drinkthe pour.

the longer I get....

- cellar and

I pulled

I pulled I pulled

' Then

Editorial " Good Afternoon, people. I am sorry

~_ to say that due to ' pressure from various . \

sources I must end my last editorial on the serious side.- The reason being, that I * must clarify to every-' one-what I am trying

to accomplish by writing all this drivel. " EVery— thing that has appeared on. this page has been ' meant to do anything (and I mean anything). , except bore If I I

I y V .e‘yfoffended' my'articleS: offended YOU, I have ' ’ " I " L

you, or =

sticceeded. But if you were bred then I i didn't. If really hurt '—‘ for, example if you were really embarrassed e I‘am

sorry. The orginal

, intent, of every article

.is amusement. If anything else turns up then‘ we've killed two birds with

one stone .'

Another point to' be made is that not all engineers are alike. I’ speak for. everyone on thisppage but not everyone is ‘ exact-1y like I say. So when you say“*"~You are all, drug addicts, - ‘ ‘ alcoholics,” or just

" criminally insane? say. 5

"Most of you..." ‘ And most of us Will say

’ "Thanks". angief'GimteQ a

one final fwerasr

like, to ' myself to anyone I~,-have

touched, or

r Yours sincerely, \' ' v . x ‘ “Barry,Friesen: ‘ ‘ misery w, , ,