Sports:

UPEI SPORTS SET FOR BANNER YEAR

BY PAUL MICHAUD-NOLAN

Another school year is already under , and by extension, writing assignments, fiterms, and literature reviews will soon ow. All these academic labours carry with m a certain degree of pressure and stress. But at better way is there to resolve those feelings n by actively sweating and burning calories? Furthermore, we are the beneficiaries of niversity sporting facility second to none in Maritimes, why not take advantage of our bd fortunes? The Fieldhouse literally has nething for everyone; squash and racquetball s, aerobic classes and a weight room, an oor track and, yes, even gymnasiums (ooh, ). There are also many intramural fitness recreation programs, lead by hard-working )ple who measure success only by our icipation and enjoyment levels. The nen’s and men’s intramural basketball gues, for example, are about to begin, and leyball will soon follow. Other sports soon to epresented in league play include: quetball, squash, badminton, hockey, and ball key. In addition to leagues, there are countless amural tournaments and fun events. This ming weekend, for instance, we are having a ed softball tournament, followed by Mudbowl next weekend-which is guaranteed to be the st exciting afternoon this autumn. But to find about all the upcoming events, and to sign up them, you will have to speak to someone at Sports Centre front desk, or call Ron Annear 566-0715. He will always find a way to help out, and answer any questions regarding amurals, .

Intramural sports are also a great way to meet new people. In that respect, worrying about whether you have enough people to sign up a whole team is pointless; just sign up alone, or with a friend.

Turning our attention to the performance athletes sharing our campus, we find undefeated records in two of the four AUAA Varsity teams that have already seen action this season. The UPEI Panthers women’s field hockey team battled to a pair of scoreless draws against Saint Mary’s Huskies in Halifax last weekend. Jill Arbing, a halfback converted to keeper, logged two shutouts for the Panthers, while Lori Creed was Saturday’s player of the game. The UPEI rugby team fared even better this past weekend, sweeping UNB in a pair of home games. The UPEI first team won 17-5 with tries from Jan Johnston, Bill MacQueenin, and former Mount Allison football star Jeff Dand.

The men and women’s AUAA soccer teams have also kicked off their seasons. Despite a 1-4 record, the men are fielding a talented team which has lost some very close matches, all inflicted on the road. This team is young, starting up to ten rockies per game, and should get stronger as the season progresses. The Panthers’ begin a five game home stand September 30 against the X-men at MacAdam field, and head coach Bruce Norton is confident that his team can still make the playoffs.

The Lady Panthers soccer team has also strug- gled on the road with a 1-3 record so far this season . But expect a record which better reflects this teams ability with five straight home games on tap. The ladies also play Sept 30 at MacAdam field. Game time is 12:00 pm.

WOMEN'S RUGBY

The UPEI Women’s Rugby

am got their 1995 season off to a cat start on Sept 16th. They played cir first game of the season at home ainst UNB winning 10 to 3. The bmen are looking forward to a omising season with the return of any veteran players as well as

€rous rookies. Two of the rook- (Colleen Peters and Sarah Evans) ade a name for themselves when ey scored the winning tries for the

eptember 26, 1995

home team. UPEI’s MVP was vet- eran Shannon Gillis.

The team would like to say a special thanks to Shannon Gillis, Natalie Bulger, Tracy Malone and Marley Harris for all they’ ve done for the team and wish them all the best as they leave us. UPEI Women’s Rugby will be hosting their next home game on Sept. 30 when they play the Loyalists.

‘|[PANTHER PRINTS}

3 &

BY J. JONES

If UPEI awarded doctorates for watching TV, I admit that I would be a first- class student with high honours. I’m not addicted to TV, it’s just that...... well, okay, I am addicted. So, with September being the traditional starting point for new TV shows (and the traditional ending point for a subsiantial amount of new shows), I figured I'd make an easy target of that so-called universal medium, prime-time television.

Without any more ado, here is my ‘wish list,’ or more often, my ‘hate list,’ of what I want to see on TV when I want intelligent entertainment (an oxymoron, I know).

I wish that Entertainment Tonight, Extra, and any other tabloid show were able to discuss a show/movie/video/book without using the words ‘‘hot,’’ ‘‘sexy,”’ or ‘‘slamorous.’’ Note to John Tesh and co -- there are faults out there in Hollywood, and some of them are more obvious than the San Andreas.

I wish that Full House, Brotherly Love, and Sister Sister would do episodes about fratricide and sororicide. No personal grudges about the actors/actresses, I just happen to hate their ‘‘acting.’’

I wish that decent Canadian shows would complete a ‘‘full’’ season of programming instead of ending in late April. Some shows, like the Royal Canadian Air Farce and This Hour has 22 Minutes should be run for the full year with new episodes -- too much fodder is missed during the summer.

I really really wish (no, pray) for the demise of televised award shows. Too many awards, too much competition, too many losers. Soon there will be an award show for the best award show. Imagine..... ‘‘In the category ‘Best Music Award’, the nominees are: the Grammys, the American Music Awards, the Junos, the Soul Train Awards, the Canadian Music Video Awards, the MTV Video Awards, the Brit Awards,”’ plus the half-dozen country awards. Enough already!

If only one of my wishes come true, I hope it is this one: true international news. Not American news. Not news from the United Kingdom. International news. I want to see how the economy is recovering in Mexico; the results of the last elections in

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on the Idiot Box Hong Kong; how South Africa is dealing with white separatists demanding their own homeland. I want news that is international, not news that affects popular places on the globe.

I wish (I know, I’m starting to sound like Skee-Lo) that networks would bring back the following shows: The Critic (made The Simpsons look tame), Sliders (so much could have been done!), My So-Called Life (the closest imitation of the Degrassi series to ever emerge from the US), and Blossom (yeah right!). I also wish that networks would ban cliff-hangers for season finales. The Simpsons ‘‘who shot Mr. Burns’’ caused more email arguments than you would believe possible.

And while on the subject of bans, please send a letter to ABC. State this very clearly on the envelope: TGIF wastes time that could be used to test the emergency broadcasting system. Enough time has already been wasted on this ‘‘idiot-training- session’’ time slot.

You might be saying to yourself ‘* Ah, he’s great as a critic, but what can he suggest?’ Well, this is it: dark comedies. The John Larroquette Show is the target that many shows just can’t seem to reach. Sure, there are other decent comedies (like Frasier, Ellen, and Roseanne), but none has even come close to the wonderful cynicism of John Hemingway. Some may mention Murphy Brown, but it’s not quite the same type of nastiness.

For the record (as I’m certain I am going to be recorded in some way, shape or form), these are my preferred shows: John Larroquette, Roseanne, The Simpsons, (okay, anything with a sarcastic edge that says ‘‘bite me’’ in an attractive way), ER, Frasier (high-brow physical comedy), Seinfeld (way too many imitators though), the X-Files (creepy and thought-provoking) and of course Friends.

Anyway, here’s a parting thought: what’s the freakin’ deal with those freakin’ Muchmusic VJ’s? Are they anything more than pretty wallpaper between videos, or what? Until next time, keep your eyes on the ground and your head in the clouds...