Institutional False-Love Day

"For the most part," as Nietzsche explains, "two beasts find each other." The idea of true love is a false one, and if it were true... good fucking luck finding that one person in the sea of millions. Ha! You would die poor and lonely, you wretched fool!

Is your love something special? Maybe to you. For now. But guess what? You may love your love forever, but the initial passion... well, the initial passion will not last, and your relationship will, in time, collapse into a Sunday drive: a mere comfortability. It will no longer be that fiery band of raging mountains and valleys - for "there are no mountains without val- leys" - to be battled and triumphed over, | but simply a long, unending vastness of flat, smooth, dispassionate land. When your desire to possess another's love has ~ been sated, what more is there to desire?

Useless Facts

So just wait for possession to be accomplished, wondering what there will be left to do at that time. There will be nothing but to sit and hold on to it, to hold to your most coveted of possessions. It may be sick, sad, and cynical, but love... yes love, is possessive.

Do you wish to lose your free- dom?! I have an idea! Fall in love. Fall in love and hand your emotional controls over to someone else and let them play with the joystick. You can make a deal; "T'll give you mine if you'll give me yours." Perhaps it will work, but just try getting the joystick back, it's like a small child with his favourite Nintendo game; once the controls are in the child's posses- sion, there is no getting it back without a fight, or a struggle, and some anger or tears.

And the guilt. Yes, you will feel the guilt when you steal it all back; when you twist your lovers emotions with your

about Love in

Time for Valentine's Day

Why buy your love a Valentine's Day card when you can make your own, possibly including some little known facts about love and sex. All of these wonderful facts came from the Internet, so they must be right.

* Did your eyes get bigger? Your pupils dilate when you look at the one you love.

* Chocolate emulates the feelings of love,

so if you're alone on Valentine's Day, go to

the Bulk Barn, stock up on chocolate-cov- _ ered hazelnuts and go to town.

* Think five minutes a long kiss? How about 29 hours - that's the record for a . kissing contest held in New York. sina out the lip phan.

~ * Love can make you high - for three months. After that, endorphin that have been sailing around your body dies out.

’ There is a such a thing as STDs in | felines, but apparently - who the hell tests

this theory? - they cannot be passed onto humans. Nice.

* On that note, three per cent of pet own- ers will give their furry friends a Valentine's Day gift. :

* Everyone around the world is getting busy: 100 million acts of sex occur each day, according to the World Health Organization.

* According to belief, if a woman saw a robin on Valentine's Day, she would marry a sailor. A sparrow meant she would marry a poor man, a goldfish meant she would marry a millionaire.

_* Men are the ones buying all the flowers

on Valentine's Day - they make up 73 per cent of flower purchases while women

make up 27 per cent.

-* As a custom, men on the island of

Trobriand bites off his woman's eyelashes. But sharing a meal with her would dis- grace her and that would mean more than a buffet.

bare hands; when your love object cries out in pain. That is why it is so hard to do, why it is so hard to take them back; you will hurt them, and in doing so... you will hurt yourself. The poor child; the poor children.

And these poor children will now experience separation, individuality, and death. Anxiety at the fear of these unavoid- able pieces of life. How sweet. And these poor children will miss their possessions, and they will miss the feeling of love. The feeling of love is that which we love to love; it is not actually the person, but the

feeling they give us; perhaps, the feeling of... motherly love? Hold me mother, for I cannot take the world on for and by myself; I am afraid; I cannot face separa- tion, individuality, and death. Poor chil- dren.

And here is Valentine's Day, a nice, profitable way to institutionalize love; today you will show your love, you will buy material objects with symbolic meaning, material objects which means nothing at all except to act as proof of the shallowness of the day of love. *

Cupid's arrow has a string attached to it! Where does it lead, and what if you don't follow? You are not a good lover. But you do not love the other anyway, you love your desire to possess, and once you possess... but why possess? To maintain the status quo of love. "Love me forever!" you cry, for you want a last- ing love, a stability. Stability is over-rated. Happy Institutionalized False Love Day.

See — it ta kes a4 |

February 27, 2003, 10. ane pm

(Apa beens Ciaums writing: Hebsarces * Talk with exhibitors and employers

Explore all the career options BZ tat the tourism industry offers!

For more information call:

i Gazal 202-866-500.

co-rranaged by Humen Resources

Funding for this project ia provided by the Canada/Prince Edward island Labour Market Develogment Canada and the orovincial Department

Oevelaprent Agreement, Of Development and Technchogy.

=~ ve