A visitor to an asylum recently saw a

IBB cspcnnitlong the hall astride of a ldck. Ah, 1” mid he, wishing to be pleasant, I see you are having a inc ride on your horse " “This isn’t s horse, lliswered the lunatic, conteinptuously “Not a horse-what is it, then‘f" “lt’s a bobby was the reply if it was a li rse I could get oil' ’

A long winded visitor once asked Bis-

larcl. how he got rid of visitors who bored him Why, said the chancellor, Ilulmg I have an arrangement with my wife When people stay too long, the sends a seriant to say that she needs me” At that moment entered a servant, saying that the princess would speak with the chancellor Bismarck

vely made his eucuses, and the bore

A small bov in a. Victoria. Countv school

was asked by his teacher to write what he knew about the peace in South Africa Result “The Boers fought against Env land, and Colonel Hughes went to Africa and fought them. By and by every one tho ht it time to sto but the Boers won] ’t. So Colonel ughes, who had come hack home, sent word he would go and fight them again if they would not make peace, and they d d, providing he would be their Governor Which is about as true as many accepted chapters

A committee once called on Wu Tinff

fang to request him to address a society connected with one of the fashionable churches of \Vashington Casual inen tion was made of the fact that the youthful pastor of the church had re cently resigned, to enter upon a new field of labor on the Pacific Coast Why did he re°i<rn"” asked \lr Wu Because he had receii ed a call to another church was the reply ‘ll hat salary did you pay hiin"’ Fo ir thousand dollais What is his pieiciit salary "” Eiffht thousand dnlia.s \n"’ said he d s ple of Confiic is, ‘ ierv loud call' ’

Six year old lo mm ii is sent bv hi'

eldesti sfslier to tue g occ-i s to buy .i palm o um suffix Aft” the ro iie

ltlor of tne shgpbliicl sexi u ltne listleplad, e en°'.i°°e I`om\ y in couiersation Tommy? said Le I uiideistand there is a new member of your family 9’ “Yes, sir,” replied the boy, I\e got a little brother Well, how do you like that, hey?" enquired thi- grocer Don t like it at all,’ said Tommy , “rather have a. little sister ’ 'Then why dont you

legiange lailrg, 'll.)`/riinpiylx Well, we would

we co ut on t suppose we can

You see, ue have used hini fo_ir days

Dr Henry Van Dyke tells a story of

an old Irishman who was engaged in the business of chicken raising near Prince»

ton One dai a traveling man expressed surprise at t e use of so much cornmeal at feeding time, and suggested that the meal 'be mixed with sawdust, insisting tht the hens would not know the dif

mance A few months later the travel

man was again in the eommumt

andhcask ifthcnewdiethadbseyn

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cried andw ttheresulthadbsai “It

rkb bsantiully,” was the reply ‘Sec

old yellow ie!! Well, I tried her

on half and half and she liked it so well I changed rt to all sawdust, and the last time sho hatched, three of the dicks ladwoodcnlogaiidafoiirthwuss woodpecker.”

, who his in hnsar

i has a boy who is

nloq athrseyeor-old trot-

* tanning lr Bmlmq asked

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:lfeamfifnifaio nf” i, l. reward for’ Alfonso the Chaste” Thst’s all very well,” remarked Alfonso, “but what foundation have you for this bclieff’ “None, sire The time of le- gends is past” Further on the 'bisho mlled the king’s attention to a snial antique chest uhicli was locked 'lradi tion says that whoei cr opens this chest will die suddenly The Line, with the abruptness of youth exclaims, \\ ell' I :lon’t mind opcninf' it And the bishop, imitating the independent spirit of the sos ereign, answered \eithei° do I, your inajestv, and if I have failed to do so bcfo e it is b°cause-the he, is iiiissinv"

Not Miss Diana.”

Su' John Sinclair, in his time

me of the foremost men in Scot .and lived at Edinburgh anil his house there, some forty years ago, was the home of his four daug‘ ters, all no ticeably tall women The) made up, as the father said, about “four and twenty feet of daughters.” A good but not a romantic story is told of one of them,

in connection with Lord Gla.s%ow, who, when dining one day witii Sir ohn, told his host that he had made up his mind

to be mniried

"I have decided, said ne, “after care-

ful consideration, that I cannot do bet .cr than to secure the hand of one of

your daughters.

Sir John bowed, and evpressed his

fmtituds for the compliment “And may ask 'Lofd Glasvow, said he which of

my daughters has attracted your

“Tliat Sir John,” returned his lord ship, “I leave entirely to you I feel that your knowledge of vour daughters will enable, you to make a. far wiser se- lection. than I could make. “hour prudence is highly to your cre-

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