i i i

, JUNE 14, 1924

; » . ... s- it to,» worthy or his position-Aime of Pork lung. Hehsd itiu-rtuoc-l thiqmn the nrchitenifililil‘) tilts! "rt-i Jlsiilitl. p

"Of femurs?" ‘uxvl-ininlrtl- tn-.~ architect rue day yrheti tlwy \\a~l'|' lnlklllﬂ over tin- plans. “l! W" don't wart: for these

New Bullion puffed out his t-het-lts and looked thoughtful-ton a-tao- tncnt. Then he looked npifrom the plans. lie had said that expense was llu objoot." Iii ho;,would..ehow the urvhitdeﬂlhdt: e Ielnt it.

"Wm!" he igttihted. "They look hnlltllﬂllll eaouih as they aro. but it you think liminating them will make tin-m any hanqsomer thou. _l ssy, have them 'lisuln_l_t§d="' ~~

Judge-"Hsvo you ‘Iiiyfhisg further in any?"

Prisoner-J‘! should like to.ask that ttte time ooonnied by counsel's speech lul‘ tho defence be deducted from my u-rur of imprisonment."

WIIY III LOOKED TIRED-

The heatl of-a large husiness house ainicsdthat one of his clerks hsdbeen luuklllg 0H color for some months. and .at- morning. when he was looking rather paler than usual. he tackled him

vii the subject.

"You look tired this morning. JnllPl." he suid kindly. "Don't you sleep well?" .

"No. sir." was tho reply. “The pal l share a room with and l_ suffer from alternate insosnuia."

"Alternate Insomnia! What is that?"

"Whichever gets to sleep first keeps tu- other awake ull night!“

NAVAL ENGAGEMENT AVEBTED

she-J nln sorry I can't accept you. lllll. but circumstances over ‘which i|:ll'(' no control preyent me. '

lie-And what are those circum- slilndﬂl -

F‘- "' , circumstances-From the Annapolis Dog.

old Lady~“ls it dangerous to go up ia'an aeroplane?"

Aviator--"Not at all. ma’avn. The _

danger is Allin the coining dou'n.““

A snau who owned s business itook mil a ilrt.-' insurance policy. The same tisy a blﬁo" broke out that destroyed the building and its contents.

‘the insurance company tried in rain in tind auﬂsiont grounds to refuse pay- ment, and was’ obliged to content itself with the following letter appended to the cheque:

"Dear Bin-We note that your policy was issued at ton o'clock on Thursday tuorning Ind that the tire did not oc- rat- until three-thirty. Can you elnlsin this delay?"

‘the only tar-hearing snlmul that np~ pears to he holding its rown is woman.

She: "No. Herbert. l atn sorry: but l'ln sure we could not he happy to- geiher. You know l always want my awn way iaeverythislx."

lie: "But. my dear girl. you roilld k0 on waiting it after we were lnnr- rind." ‘

' Tonto."

~. v 44.3w. 1i V‘ T‘ ‘"3... “w”? ; u;

I "stair-tit" thoi

THE CQRLOTTEIYJWN GUARDIN

wdnd Mother: "My son Jack is play-

Fons Uothsr: "Welly-I'm not sure; burl think 'hsclts."..__ .

_\\'illlo: "Pa. teacher says We are here to help others." " 14m: "Yes. that's

"Wt-ll. what are

l0."

the others heft‘

-l_or'.'”

Mr. llardupf-ltfs hard to have n lot of lltfillti that you simply can't pay.

Jankls-Oh. l don't know. It's worse in have :1 lut tllat you simply have to lltly- ’

further: PDid you get the erate'of chickens l sent?"

llnstotner: “Yes. hut you hadn't. pat-lied ‘em well. and after sesrehin‘ the neighborhood I only found twelve."

Farmer: “l only sent eight." T‘

THREE LIVE HEN.

"Thestution of Savannah." says a B trsreller through the' South. "is sur- rounded lu all directions with a lot of saloons and cheap restaurants. la zrest illuminated letters over one of these saloons was the sign:

" ‘Open all nightﬁ"

“Next to it ‘wasa restaurant hearing with equal prominence the legend: “We nercr close-f."

"Third in order was‘ a (‘hlnese linin- dry in situmhlotlown-hny l. and upon

Mairl~“.\ly mistress is not at home. madam.

Visitor-"Vm glad to,henr it. When l saw her pet-pinsﬂthrotrgh the window‘ lust now l feared she niightghe!"

"Wore you seriously injured in that motor accident?" '

“Well. l~tlidu't think l was untill u reutl about the smash in the news- paper."

Agent: "You've seen the front bed-

room: now,’ this is the linen cup- board. sir." -

Fist-hunter: “Yes. l understand — the cupboard is the one with the shelres."

"He ls such s door." said thomroiiy. uirl. praising: young Iilll of het- ae-Z qunlntsnve; "he takes mother and me out to dinner nearly every week. _,W1- zlote on him. in fuel." she added with I smile, "ive table tl'h0te on him."

THE SLI PPEBY SLOPE.

Grot-tiboy: Oi course. l know marriage is u grave step. .

Oltlun: Step7 .\ly dear lad. it's more like a ﬂight of steps. and every one of ‘om greased I-“Penrsoui Magazine."

TIE IDLE BAKED-

Tn attract the custom of the foreigu- i 4-, Japanese tradesmen often put it'll tigus in what they consider to be idio- uatic Eitglish. Such signs contain aru-

ayr,“ Yfffti.“ ‘ *Ar.~__3;"_$%‘_dil‘ .

tsing mistakes. One of the funniest is that exhibited by a Japanese baker in Tokio: it roads:

"A. Knshinuru. Biggest Loafer in

.21!“

a __ ._

Iiwg brought tlte- moms-n» I donsl _L°~.n 0pm”.

...-~-;..M~.» ma...” .-. . -.

' _ daughter. ~ sdaveuile-

lay!" , --n has." "W Youth asscntcd.

"Think, ye t-azild romp again m, m, narrow. luddie?"

senior. ilsts in interrupting." lie said, "will ve good enough to tellns his name in- fived-ef merely shouting out his call- lng. l um sure we shall all he pleased to make his acquaintance.‘K-Christian

"Marie."

mads faces at me."

_ LIJBI 0P‘ GOLF.

An old Scotsman

Jing in a football gsmeqodsy," Friend; "Novrnioei-Ig what position spent t e Whole a" 1°" l5 D701?" ' ' t‘ ~ - and hn had some

and esciting names. he's one of the drawf amm- the

"Hwnrlnon. but i

"Wt-ll." the, ynuui: r

'l*“‘li\’\'|.\'. "l was to llt- tunrried. but 1. . luresuy l can put it utl."

A t-itniptligner was

ranted by a mun in~tht~ crowd, who

"l! the gen

egister.

Teneher—-“So you don't letter comes after 'h".'"

oy-"Ndm." Tent-her-"tvhot hav

1f my tiose."

Boy-"Loolss like p0

~Re1ectcd.

"Johnny." Sllld his

uijoy thrhook l so birthday?"

"Huint looltctl at it “Why. how is that “Cause run said l‘

the front of this building as the sign. v in great scrawlirigfleiters: ‘"7 mm“ when l “'8'! ‘i-‘LC-“llildlll” “ ‘We wukce. tooﬂ" Paper‘

Mother (ﬁshing to compliment) : mother's only darling loves absolutely best is the whole world?"

Bobby: “Fousin Molly." .

Mother: "Then ‘you- don't love m» is you used to do?”

Babb " 'sn't ltlmne me-yout

"And

‘I'm sorry.

noyvF-Punch.

Mary was visitinlr in the country. Walking in the garden. the chanced to see s peacock. a bird the had never seen before.

After gazing in sl

taya The Trihutieﬁshe ran quickly into ‘he house and. cried out. “Oil. Granny. -ome and see! One of your chickens is in bloom." "'

s ,"Wuiter._ what is this on the hill?"

Bungalow ‘ﬂu . sl

r portion.“

“But who! is it '1" "Formerly cottage

fi“t?(‘ll."--llld§0. ‘i

lrish Father (to p

‘lie a good boy and study hard. Dennis. ind some day you may bepresident ti’ the lrish republic and have every a ‘lady nemoryJK-‘Iatler

in lreluud

Vlsitor—\\'l|o is

"nan ~ In this ﬂriu ‘I

Omco hey-l dell’!

‘osponsihle _party is. but l uni the one who. always lets tile

hire Post.‘ " '

BRINGING UP FATHER

oto YOU Q ALL ME-

said a father to his little 'xr'thl4;-gligiqljelilllied from Y. ‘ ‘You ‘have any, attention paid yqu1“"oh‘ y," and“. aaswersd little Marie. "One little boy

old man remarked .'

(London-i

..........t.... . .. ;.\._ . .

PAGE ELEVEN

and a youth had on the golf links. remarkably close As they left for

1's beorra gran!

n illl answered. r0-

cnustuntly inter‘

tept shouting out, "List-l" Mm,- ﬂbom Bllta ‘he twentieth repetition. tiib spetrltar . t "‘" vaused and tixed his eyes on his lore ’

tleniun who per- p“:

Bobby (seeing Hymn Board): "l say. mum, tho man who those numbers up can't add up very well!" —Ths Passing Show.

know what

e l on either side

wdcr from here."

aunt. "did you n! you on your

yet." T. d have to wash

t

r the old. old who is it that .

mother. but you h to youth. you

her grandmother

Clock (to new maidf: “You'll get on better wltii the mlssis if you Just gwaller yer pride an‘ treat ‘or as an equal-J’ ‘ London Opinion.

lent admiration.

i

r. at forty cents

i ' TRAINING SCHOOL FORNURSES

puddhm m‘ n . The School of Nursing ot the New Hampshire Stats l Hospital otters a course of’ Nursing Education 10 YiII-"ll ‘mmmw m“ '_ ‘ women who are eligible top adrnisslon- The $€h0°| ll

registered by the New York and New Hampshire Stats Boards of Education. A generous allowance is offered to students during tho course.

For furthor information apply to the Directml of Nursing. NEW HAMPSHIRE STATE HOSPITAL. CONCORD, N, H.

respecting your i

the responsible

know who the . -—- Y l- ."’."“" "' zhsooosi.

--By GEO, aromas-sis

i 141W WELL -HE'$

$UCH A DARl-JN" wHhTlb Hi5

YEQHERr-‘Jb A QUNWER- ‘ WILL. you TAKE "mt-z .; . Doc. our FER A sovsc. . t

\\\\\ wanna

GEE; Ab; THE LAbiEﬁ STOP Me-ANYWANNA DET THiﬁ NUT‘

two-our t'i_i.. TAKE CHARGE THAT l<lD mam

‘Qtsts iv inn. {eagles Qlsmcs. Inc.

.= a y... _ t '.