HOROSCOPES by stephan macleod

Scorpio 10/24 to 11/22

You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. But if you just want some cereal, put the eggs away and break a few light bulbs.

Sagittarius 11/23 to 12/21

Capricorn 12/22 Pisces 2/20 to 3/20

to 1/20

If someone says they listen to Whitesnake, shake their hand and tell

If you were a doctor it wouldn’t

be illegal to remove them you do too. your dad’s gall

bladder, but you Aries 3/21 to 4/20 should do it

anyway.

Aquarius 1/20 to 2/18

Don’t take your rubber snake out in public, or, for that matter, don’t go out in public.

You will become

suspicious of

Astrology when

you read this ___ horoscope.

21

238

Taurus 4/21 to 5/

20

Cancer 6/22 to 7/ Virgo 8/24 to 9/23

If you don’t stop walking like a penguin, you are going to start talking like a penguin.

Gemini 5/22 to 6/ 21

Get a box of band aids and celebrate

we If you feel like This is the month Oscar the Grouch that you will be don’t forget that diagnosed with he’s got a Big Bird. cancer.

Libra 9/24 to 10/ Leo 7/24 to 8/23 3

Be cautious if a

Don’t listen to anybody who claims to be a “dentist.” You know your own teeth better than

stranger offers you a drive home, they probably mean

the fact that you’re their home and they If you plan on e@ preventing an any stranger. might live in a real teasing anyone this S infection. shit-hole. is the month to do ov it. yt oes 4 (2 6 } i _ Trivia . | Intangibles |: 9 YIO= ‘a Taig. Soa i Wide Mouth : ts (eae | | Pama Shine Mason 145 16 :17 . 18 /19 20 | 2 i Trivia . tru 2° ‘Tox tees + gg ~~ Bae Mechamicals- ther isa 24 26 37 i i 2 3 Pee % ' 1G bets 1 ocncene Sep zs eee © — Rude’ Mechianigale 30 } f ~ an ae i I