ers, wit Sn > PE i ate Sa

es

r

partes. i

A Boy’s Day at Home.

RY RORERT J. BURDETTS.

Master Bil lerback bad been home all day, confined to the house and barn by the rain, and exec ted by the prospects of unlimited fun during the leng yacation. He was a blessing to his mother and sister, and his affectionate parent caught her deat ld by running after him in one stocking foot, searching out the tender places in his nature and anatomy with a four and 4 half slipper. He tiod one end of his sister's ball of crochet cot- ton to the fly-wheel of the sewing ma-

h of

shine and the other around the tail of the cat, and by the time his mother had way down one of the long Bilderback’s new shirt, all but afew yards of that cotton was a chaotic mass about that fly-wheel and shaft, and the cat was waltzing in and out of the kitchen. sprawling along backward, tail straight as a poker,fur up and eyes aflame, snowling and spitting, and swearing like mad, and Mrs. Bilder- back and her daughter climbed upon the table and shrieked till the windows rattled, while Master Bilderback, hid pehind the clotheshorse in the kitchen, lay down on his back and laughed a wicked gurgling kind of alaugh Then he went out and lammed a potato into the nose of the chain pump and the hired girl went out and pumped till her arms ached clear down to her heels, and then told Mrs. Bilderback the cistern had sprung a leak and was dry as a bone. And then Mrs. Bilderback, declaring she knew better, went out and turned the wheel till her head swam and she gave up, and Miss Biderback went out and turned till she cried, and then Master Bilderback, rather than go to the neigh- ber’s for water, went out and fixed the pump anicame in to be praised, and was duly praised with the slipper, for he had been watched. He put an old last year’s fire-cracker in the kitchen stove; he insured a steady run of strange visi- tors for about two hours, to the great amazement of his mother and sister, by pinning a pacard on the porch step, plainly seen from the street, but invisi- hle from the front dvor, ‘‘Man wanted to drive carriage; $35 a month and board.’’ Mrs. Biiderback drew a. sigh of relief when she heard Mr. B.'s step in the hall, and informed her son that as soon as his father came in he should be duly informed of all that had been going on, A most impressive silence followed this remark, and the trio in the sitting-room listened to Mr. Bilderback’s heavy breath- ing as he divested himself of his wet boots, and prepared to assume his slip- pers. Master Bilderback’s face wore an expression of the deepest concern. Suddenly the silence was broken by a shout of astonishment and terror, fol. lowed by a howl of intense agony, and there was a clattering as of a runaway crockery wagon in the hall. The affright- ed family rushed to the door, and beheld Mr. Bilderback cleaving the shadows, with wild gestures and frantic gyrations. ‘Take it off,"’ he shouted, and made a grab at his own foot, but, missing it, went on with his war-dance. ‘‘Water!’’ le shrieked, and started upstairs, three at a step, and turning, came back ina single stride, ‘‘Oh, I’m stabbed!’’ he cried, and sank to the floor and held his

sewed haif

seams in Mr

right leg high above his head; then he rose to his feet with a bound and

screamed for the boot-jack, and held his foot out toward his terrified family. ‘‘Oh, bring me the arnica!’’ he yelled, and with one despairing effort he reached his slipper and got it off, and with a groan as deep as a well and hollow as a drum, sank into a chair and clasped his foot in both hands. ‘‘Look out for the scor- pion,’’ he whispered hoarsely ‘‘I’ma dead man.”’

Master Bilderback was by this time out in the woodshed, rolling in the kindl- ing in an ecstasy of glee, and pausing from time to time to explain ito the son of a neighbor, who had dropped in to see if there was any innocent sport going on in which he could share, ‘‘Oh, Bill, Bill,”’ he said, ‘‘you wouldn’t believe; some time to-day, some how or other, a big blue wasp got into the old man’s slipper, and when he come home and put it on—oh, Bill, you don’t know!’’

Master Bilderback’s Return to School,

BY ROBERT J. BURDETTE.,

We remember one day last summer, during the long vacation, when the Hawkeye published a news item stating that a boy named Bilderback had fal- len from the seat of a reaping machine, and got cut to pieces, a patient, weary locking, and rather handsome young lady called at the office, and appeared %) be very anxious to have that item verified. And when we gave her all possible as- surance that everything appearing in that great and good paper, the Hawk- eye, Was necessarily true, she drew a deep sigh of relief, and said she felt actually thankful she wouldn't have that hoy to demoralize the school the next term. And then she smiled sweetly. and thanked us for our assuring words, and Went away.

Imagine her third or fourth

dismay, then, abont the

day of the fall term, When a terrific cheering in the yar, about ten minutes before school time, drew her to the windew, whence looking tlown, she saw every last solitary linger- ing boy in that school district dancing and yelling about Master Bilderback, who was dancing higher and yelling louder than any other boy in the caucus. Her heart sank within her; but she braced up and went down stairs to quiet the bedla:n, and in five minutes learned — @readful truth. Master Bilderbeck had met with a reaping-machine acci- Gent, but the papers bad reported it in- correctly. He had climbed into the seat the noment hi« uncle, on whose farm he Was spending the vacation, got down. He prodded one of the horses with a pin in the end of a stick, and made the team rub away. The terrified animals ran the machine over twenty stumps,and mashed it to pieces; one * the horses ran against a hedge-stake and was killed, and the other jumped off a bridge and broke a leg; Master Bilderback’s uncle, chasing aiter the flying team, had dashed through

to talk

could find one that was didn’t cost more than a quarter's salary.

a& hornets’ nest, ana the sociable btvie insects came out and sat down on him it over, until his head was swelled as big as a nail-keg, and he couldn't open his eyes for a week; a farm-hand who tried to stop the horses by rushing out in front of them, was hit by the tongue of the reaper and knocked into the middle of an Osage orange hedge, where he stuck for three hours. And Master Bilderback, the author of all this calamity, was thrown from his seat at the first stump, and fell on a shock of grain, and wasn’t jarred vor bruised or scratched a particle. And that night, when his aunt handed his blinded uncle the halter-strap, and held Master Bilder back in front of him to receive merited castigation, that graceless young wretch seized his awnt around the neck after the first blow, and wheeling her into his pixce, held her there, drowning her piercing explanations and pleadings in his own tumultous but deceitful howl- ings and roarings, until her back looked like a war map, and the exhausted uncle laid down the strap with the remark that he ‘‘guessed that would teach him something.’’ And so the teacher, when she saw Master Bilderback at

rest her deep in the silent grave—if she

for rent, and

It being the young man’s first day at school that term, he was feeling pretty well, thank you. He had a fight and a half before the bell rang; the half ficht being an unsuccessful attempt on his part to pull enough hair out of the back of another boy’s head to stuff a mattress, and a highly successful effort on the part of the other boy to claw enough hide oif Master Bilderback’s nose to make a pair of boots of, at which discouraging stage of the war Master B. drew off his forces, and in a conciliatory spirit informed the audience that he was only in fun. Then, before the opening exercises were half through, three boys in his neighborhood rose up in their seats with bitter wails and began feeling about in their persons for intrusive pins. filed out to its place, the circling grin told the anrious teacher that Master Bilderback had inked the end of his nose. Then he induced the boy next to him to lean back his head against the wall, just as Master B. did; and when that complaisant boy was suddenly called on to rise and recite, he lifted up his voice and wept, for he had pulled a piece of shoemaker’s wax and about two ounces of blackboard slating and plaster out of the wall with his back hair. Then he spread out the tail of another boy’s

| Coat on the seat, anc piled a little pyra-

mid of buckshot on it; and when the boy stood up to recite, he was waltzed out on the floor—batheé in innocent tears, and protesting his itnnocence—for throwing shot on the floor, and was told he was growing worse thas that Bilder- back boy. He tied the ends of a girl’s sash around the back of her chair, and when she tried to stand up she was al- most jerked out of existence. He was sent out with a boy who was taken with the nose-bleed, and found occasion to mix ink in the water he poured on the sufferer’s hands; so that, on his return, the sufferer’s appearance created such howls of derision that it started the nose- bleed afresh, and threw the teacher into hysterics. He enticed a gaunt hound into the girls’ side of the yard, and clapping &@ patent clothes-pin on one of its pend- ant ears, raised the alarm of ‘‘mad dog!’ and laughed till he choked to see the howling animal rushing aronnd trying to paw the clothes-pin off; while the shrieking girls wrecked themselves in desperate and frequently unsuccessful attempts to climb over an eight foot

fence. He put a pinching bug as big as % postage stamp down a boy’s back. He got a long slate-pencil crossways in his

rmaouth, and it nearly poked throagh his cheeks before they could break it and get it cut. He tossed a big apple, hard as a rock, out of the third story window at random, and it struck an old lady in the eye as she was walking along admiring the building; and she came up and gave the poor tortured teacher a piec? of her ‘sind us long as the dog days. He d-op- ~ed into the water-buck.t a lot of oxalic

There is a popular miscon- ception to the effect that corpulent people are healthy people. Ina large percent- age of cases thisis a mis- take. Corpulent peo- ple suffer from ill- health just as much, and sometimes more than thin people. Like thin people they suf- fer from illnesses and disorders that are caused by indigestion wand torpidity of the liver.

There is a sure and speedy rem- edy for ills of this description. It is Doctor Pierce’s Golden Medical Discovery. ‘Thousands of corpulent people who need this medicine have failed to take it because of its world-wide reputation as a blood-maker and flesh-builder. They im- agine because it has an established reputa- tion for building up the flesh and strength- ening emaciated people, that it will make coypulent people more corpulent. This is a misconception. The ‘‘Golden Medical Discovery”’ builds firm, healthy flesh but does not raise the weight above a natural normal figure. Untike cod liver oil, it does not make soft, flabby flesh. It builds solid, healthy fiesh but tears down and ex- cretes the weak, half-déad tissues that con- stitute corpulency. It makes the appetite keen, the digestion perfect, the liver active, the blood pure and the nerves steady. It cures all blood and skin diseases. An honest dealer will not offer a worthless sub- stitute for the sake of extra profit. ;

“TI got a cancer on my tongae and had it cut out,’ writes Peter J. Kroeker, of Inman, McPher- son Co., Kans. “I consulted fifteen different

hysicians without deriving any benefit. At last Fasroat to Dr. Pierce’s Golden Medical Discov- ery. I presisted in its use and my health is bet- ter than ever before. Formerly every accidertal wound I received would fester and would not heal. Now, such lacerations heal themselves.”

Cure — always. Gripe — never. Doctor Pierce’s Pleasant Pellets for constipation and biliousness. Constipation is the cause of many diseases. Cure the cause and you cure the disease. One “‘ Pellet ’’ is a gentle laxative, and two a mild cathartic. In obstinate cases use the ‘‘ Discovery’ in connection with the “ Pellets.” Druggists sell them,

THE DAILY EXAMIN

school | again, felt weary of life, and sighed to |

When the first class |

ER CHAR

D

#UlU, Lual Deu Deed Lrougnt to take some ink splotches out of the floor, and came within one of poisoning the whole school before they found it out; and, finally, he poked a bean so far up his nose that they thought it was coming out of his eye; and the happy teacher him, thoroughly frghtened for the time in his eventful life, and he ran like a race-horse all the way home, crying louder at every step, and never stopped to call a name or throw a stone,

MESSAGE TO WEN

Proving that True ssonerty and True Phil

antrophy still Exists

If any man whois weak, nervous and debilitated, or who is suffering frow any ef the var.oas troubles resulting from youthful folly, excesses or overwork, will take heart and write to me, I will send him confidentially and free of charge the plan pursued by whoich [ was completely restor- ed to perfect health and manhood, after years of suffering from Nervous Debility, loss of Vigor aud Organtic Weakness.

I have nothing to sell and therefore want no money, but asI know through my own experience how to tympathize with such sufferers, I am giad to be able to assist any fellow~beings to a cure. 1 am well aware of the prevalence of quick- ery, for I myself was deceived and impos- ed upon until I nearly Jost faith in man- kind but I rejoice to say thatl am now perfectly weli and happy once more and am desirous therefore to make this certain means of cure known toall. Ifyou will write to me you can rely upon being cured and the proud satisfaction of having been of great service te one in need will be sufficient reward for my trouble. Absol- ute secrecy assured. Send 5c silver to cover postage and address Mr. G, Strong, North Rockland, Mich. 135 p & w.

oe eS Se eee

- e. of s

eC

Syrup

af Ras Sores pitis| Sore. Baas

SPRY, WATSON & CO., Prornicross. & MONThEA‘..

785

D2@ORLG 9 BLED. 0.87 S08 080809 (808

For Coughs, Colds. Bron- chitis,

et

a

‘ reer 2° @°e tt a 2 een er we or? 89 eo eee 4 o3@ ese

je0e eo Ls l8De oe

:

oor

-~

LEGAL CARD.

Mathieson & Bentley

Barristers, Solicitors, Etc

OFFICES— Cameron Block, Charlottetown Main Street, Georgetown.

MONEY TO LOAN

J. A. Marnieson, Geo’town.

Ch’town.

Jan3—law&wEx&#at3inos; wJo0.& Watch-

man 3mos.

LOTTETOWN,

ene ee

dismissed | first |

W. E. Beytver,

TENDERS.

ENDERS will be received by the

undersigned until Friday, 14th, noon,

from all parties wishing to contract for the repairing and fitting of the floor, wails aud ceiliog, Y. M.C. A, building, of this city.

Plans and specifications ro be seen at the Association Rooms. not necessarily accepted.

S. N. ROBERTSON, Presid :nt. Jan lI d&w

A, A: McLEAN, 0. C. Barrister, Etc.,

3rown’s Block

Charlottetown

EVERY DAY A BARGAIN DAY

AT LEWIS’

From now unti! the end of the year, every day will bé bargain day «at our store

All kinds of fancy goods, in China, Ceiluloid, Plush, Oak and Glass, all kinds of Toys, Games, Dolls, Doll’s Sleighs, Doll’s Corriages, Doll’s Tea-sets, Boy’s and Girl’s Sleighs. Also all kinds of Crockery. Make no mistake in the place, but come direet to

C. LEWIS, Grafton St.

Opposite North side of Market Sq.

PROFESSIONAL CARD McDONALD & INMAN

Attorneys at Law, Commissioners. etc

Cameron Block, Victoria Row

J. A. McDonap. Ch’town, dec? —eod3mw&lawew,

of the Assembly Hall of the

Lowest tender

t G. S. Ivuax, |

ak Le ed a7

Driving a Cow.

RY ROBERT J. BURDETIE.

Mr. Forbes is a nervous man, and it is not surprising that when Mrs. Forbes told him the cow had got out of the front gate, he was so startled and annoyed that he made some disjointed allusions to the scene of General Newton's dyna- mite explosions. When he went out the cow Was standing very quietly in the street just in front of the gate, chewing her cud, best navy, and looking as though she were trying to think of some- thing mean to say. Mr. Forbes got around in front of her, raised both his hands above his head, and, extending his aris, waved them slowly up and down, at tho time ejaculating, ‘‘Shuo! shoo, there, I say! Shoo!’’ The cow turned her cud over to the other side, and gazed at the apparition in some astonishment, and then began to hack away and manoeuvre to get around it. It isa remarkable fact, which we have never heard Prof. Huxley explain, that a cow is perfectly willing to go in any direction save the one in which you attempt to drive her. When the cow be- gan to back, Mr. Forbes slowed up his arms and assumed a more coaxing tone. When the cow started to make a tlank movement off to the right, Mr. Forbes kept in front of her by sidling across in the same direction, at the same time raising his voice and accelerating the movement of his arms. When the cow made several cautious diversions and reconnaissances th's way «and that, Mr. Forbes was compelled to keep up a kind of Chinese cotillon, dancing to and fro across the road, keeping time with his shuilling feet and waving hands, and the children on their way to school gathered in little groups on the sidewalk and viewed the spectacle with great interest, alternately cheering the cow and encour- aging Mr. Forbes, as one side or the other would gain a little advantage. When the cow would make a short, determined rush, causing Mr. Forbes to scuttle across the street, in a perfect whirlwind of dust and sticks and a rattl- ing volley of ‘‘Hi! hoo-y! shoo, there! hoo-y!’’ the enthusiasm of the audience was unbounded. Once, Mr. Forbes got the cow fairly cornered and headed her right into the gate, but just as the gray light of victory fel! upon his uplifted face, Mrs. Forbes and the hired girl came charging out in mad pursuit of a flock of geese that had taken advantage of the open gate to stroll in and have a nip at the house plants on the back porch. Squaking, whocping and scream- ing, the flying geese and the pursuing column came out like a runaway edition of chaos, and the cow gave a snort of terror and turned short upon Mr. Forbes, who tossed his hands more wildly and shouted more vociferously than ever, and got out of the way with neatness and despatch, just as the cow went by with the swiftness of a golden opportunity or @ vagrant thought. Mr. Ferbes’ blood was up, and he was bound to head off that cow if it was in the power of man. Spurred to intense energy, by the derisive shouts of the children, he bent his head and picked up his flying feet. They got a pretty fair send-off, Mr. Forbes and the cow, and as they swept up the street they could look into each cther’s e¥es and glare defiance while they spurned the dust with flying feet. Mr. Forbes ran until his eyes seemed bursting out of his head and his very soul seemed to be in his legs; the perspiration started out of

same

every pore; every time he struck the ground with his foot he thought he felt the earth shake, and yet, though he tugged and sweat and strained until all the landscape was yellow before his plood-shot eyes, he couldn’t gain a hair’s breadth on the shambling, awkward cow that went sprawling and kicking along by his side, filling the soft September air with such a wild, tumultuous, horrmodle jangling of bells that Forbes made up his mind to thraw the bell away the moment he got the cow home. The peo- nle on the street stopped and waved their nats and cheered enthusiastically as the “recession swept past, ladies leaned out the window and smiled sweetly on the wan and cow alike. Once Forbes stum- bled over a crossing and had to take strides twenty-three feet long for the next half block to keep from falling, and he was sure he was split clear up to the chin and would have to button his trou- sers around his neck forever afterward, but he wouldn’t give in to a cow if he died for it. At the next corner the cow turned off down a_ side street; Forbes shot across the sidewalk for a short cut, and the next instant he went crashing half way threugh a latticed tree box. A street car driver stopped his car and assisted Mr. Forbes to a sittting postur:, leaned him up against a fence and went on with his train. And as Mr. Forbes sat in a dazed kind of way, mechanically rubbing the dust and dirt off his ccat and pinning up long mashes and grimly rinning apertures in his clothes, there came to his ears the distant tinkle tankle of a far away cow bell, the mellowed sound rising and falling in tender cadences, with a dreamy, swaying melo- diy, as though the bell was somewhere over in the adjoining county, and the cow that wore it was waltzing along over a country road a thousand miles u minute.

Ax Orv Axp Wert Triep Remenvy.— Mrs. Wiuslow’s Soothing Svrup has been used for over fifty years by millions of mothers for their children while teething with perfect success. It soothes the child softens the gums, allays all pain, cures wind colic, and is the best remedy for Diarrboea. Is pleasant to the taste. Sold by druggists in every part of the world, Twenty-five cents a bottle. Its value is incaleulable. Be sure and ask for Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing Syrup, and take no other kind.

Montreal, Jan.10.—While engaged in cleaning a rifle this morning Percy Saunders, residing with his parents on Fullum street, was accidentally killed by the premature discharge. :

.2a8,, 5

JANUARY 14, 1898

SAASARAR

Akash

AARARAARS

rmporfant to javalids

A wee drappie o’ Pattison'’s

eo Rare Old Whisky >

‘ Tired, exhavsted nature finds a reiiable recuperative in the stimulating and invigorating properties of

Strictly pure, reliable and effective, this grand old whisk y the best and safest stimulant for invalids’ use.

Recommended by leading physicians as being superior to brandy, owing to its great age.

For sale by ali authorized vendors,

or Sale By All Licensed Vendors ESSE EEE EEE ESE EEE SE EET EE

Wholesale by

|] VAAAAAS AAAS HARRAH AAR SS

}

--1898-- Stocktaking Sale

Before stocktaking we offer the balance of our stock of man’s ulsters and overcoats, at ele arance pric2s. Ifyou wiat one, you will get a snap— at the pric? you cin buy here for now.

A lot of boys and youths Ul!sters, at about half price $3.57 foc $2 95, and so on.

B)OTS, BOITS, this way for Bots. want your boots at lowest prices, come this way,

J. B. Macdonald&Co

For 62334335 Bargvins in Byois aid Clo thing

Bae ag i pete lmtetint

200 Bicycles Wanted

To be stored (free of charge) for the winter, and cleaned repaired, nickeled or enameled, thoroughly renewed, ready

ENAMELING

for spring.

We use the highest grade Enamel (black or colors) that meney can buy in New York, and éafe it on in a manner that the most fastidiovs cannot criticize, and the cost is the same a3 others charge for ordinary paint,

W P. DOULL, Kent Steet

See sample at shop.

——

What are You Wearing On Your Feet This weather ?

There is style in footwear as there is in hats, year Rubbers and Overshoes are modelled to fit all the fashion- able shapes of boots.

We are showing all the best shapes in Ladies’ and Gentle- men’s Overshoes, also Girl’s and Childrén’s.

ockings for Children and Girls.

W. H. Stewart & 60

Three Reasons

Why you should buy your Furniture from us.

Knitted Over-

lst,—Our variety is unsurpassed, as we buy our goods from specialists in each line.

2nd.— We buy nothing but the best.

3rd.—We sell our good ffurniture at tke price of

PROVE US =

JOHN NEWSON,

eller of Good Furniture. tranger to Poor Furniture,