Fact and Opinion

by Stephan MacLEOD

FACT: Melissa Silverman, daughter of NBC Fred

Silverman, loved the Smurfs so much

television executive she inspired her father to create the Smurfs animated series which ran for almost a decade.

OPINION: I love fruit salad. Why doesn’t someone make an animated

series out of that?

FACT: Smurf figurines stamped with a special “M” stick-figure on the bottom are produced by a company called “Schleich.” Schleich stopped marking their figurines with the special “M” around 1972.

OPINION: “M” “Motherfuck! These things scream

stands _ for when you burn the letter ‘M’ into their

- feet!”

FACT: The word “Smurf” is used extensively by the Smurfs, as a noun, verb, and everything in-between. OPINION: Using the word “Smurf” in different contexts can lead to confu- sion. For example, saying “Smurf my ass” will either get you arrested or get you a discount on a lawnchair at

Zellers.

FACT: Smurf figurines debuted in 1965, although they were not avail- able in North America until 1980. OPINION: North American immigra- tion policies prevented the arrival of millions of little blue people and

Smurfs too. Stop racism.

FACT: Smurf figurines are made of [16]

PVC, stand 2 inches tall, and have eight fingers and eight toes.

OPINION: These figurines are obvi- ously anatomically incorrect. Smurfs are three apples tall, not 2 inches. And, unlike the figurines, they do have

cocks.

FACT: There are six Easter Smurf fig-

_ urines.

OPINION: My favorite is Jesus Smurf

with his mushroom crucifix.

FACT: In Chinese, “Smurf” translates

‘to “Lan Jing Ling.”

OPINION: Try ordering that in a Chinese food restaurant. They taste

squishy.

FACT: The Smurfs were created in Brussels, Belgium by Pierrot Culliford (Peyo) in 1958.

OPINION: He was under the heavy influence of drugs and leprechaun

magic.

FACT: The Smurfs debuted in news- paper comic entitled “Johan et Pirouit.”

OPINION: “Johan et Pirouit” was the first comic to feature little blue crea-

tures, and full frontal nudity.

FACT: Each Smurf Christmas tree ornament figurine comes with a fine gold cord.

OPINION: _ Strangle Christian Smurfs with this gold cord

your little

in order to sacrifice them to our Lord

and Saviour, Gargamel.