.2 green ,‘Ti’or fr .94.-

Pat O'Brien

1 would like to make the osition of, Communications fficer into a legitimate xecutive position. Not

nly should I be held re— ponsible for CIMN and the adre but also be a liason etween the‘ administration, he community at large and he student body. Communic- tions officer can and hould be an important pos—

I offer an honest inter- st and lots of enthusiasm, year of experience on tudent council, knowledge f the internal workings of he Cadre and CIMN.

Pat O'Brien

M c Kenna/ ..

There are a few things I ' “1d like to see next year. me of these are to see

at the yearbook is compl- Ed on time, that the S.J. ' is set up early in the

’ l, a good Orientation

kn a better Fall Fest,

3“ last year, a better

°t° Club and Movie Club, bfitter communication tWeEn Council and the “dent body.

. StllclemtJUnion should

ve me on Council because “9‘ President is in charge all sub—committees. In

e Past few years I have rked on most of the sub-e

' . k \ e Cadre, Feb. 17,1977, page 7

Mortification: officer.

Mike McMahon

I will do my best to main— tain the positive as well as‘enthusiastic attitude which is presently being displayed by UPEI students through the Cadre and CIMN.

I will have a Student Directory printed and avail- able to hhe Student Body in October.

I am running for this office because I feel I am a capable individual and have worked-with CIMN for a year and a half. I have done some writing and a little layout work for the Cadre. I am presently on the Campus Police, Personnel Board and am just finish— ing up my position on the Winter Carnival Committee. I feel my previous exper— ince and enthusiasm will be an asset to my position.

Mike McMahon

Michael D 'Brie n Wait for my campaign' Mike o‘Brien

committees and have done what I think has been a fairly good job. I have worked on Orientation Week, Fall Fest, Winter Carnival, Electoral Board, Personnel Board, Campus Police, Bare tender, Social Committee, and the Photo and Movie C1 Clubs. Gerald McKenna

Vice—President s- : a

I “friends” and she was contin

The right to say "no"

Dr. Walter Wren— University of Windsor

Alase l—A freshman came to see me at the University irifirmery complaining of swollen glands, fever and a rash. It was infectious mononucleosis, a diagnosis that considerably relieved the young man. It turned out that he had thought he had VD. I asked if there was a possibility. His an- swer was startling—because of the ignorance revealed. ,

.He was a virgin, he explained. Technically a virgin, he said, because he had engaged in “heavy” petting with his

‘ girlfriend to orgasm. And his sexually

active roommate (male) had recently

' been treated for gonorrhea. So he felt he

had ground for conern. I was able to allay his concern. '

Inlthe course of our conversation, be brought another worry: Was it normal for ‘a manhis age (19) to be a virgin? He .was really asking if he was abnormal. Was he homosexual?

His answers to my questions revealed no hint of overt homosexual impulses and no fear of heterosexual relationships. He was very much involved in sports and was carrying a heavy academic, load, a combination that left him little time and energy for sexual intercourse. In fact, he seemed healthily heterosexual but anxious. More anxious than he should be. It turned out that much of his anxiety was based on the fact that he had decided against having a sexual relationship with his present girlfriend—much to her

' in. Since he was not all that involved. With her and did not feel the need for a sexual relationship, I thought his decision was not only appropriate, but normal—and I told him so.

This college freshmen’s ignorance of sexual basics was ’ not particularly unusual—even in this sup osedly

‘enlightened age of the new more 'ty. His

roommate, the one who had been treated for gonorrhea, was back in the infirmary a few days later. He had shared his an- tibiotic pills with his girlfriend. The result: neither had been adequately treated. Case Z—A 17 year old freshman woman came to the student health clinic that same

week for a consultation. She said she was

homesick. She was doing well academically and she had a bayfriend she liked a lot. But she was homesick. It turned out that the boyfriend was the real problem. Two years older than she, he was pushing her to have sexual "intercourse. She was reluctant, she told me, “to go all the way.” She was not ready, she said. Not because of fear of pregnancy or parental disapproval, not because she was afraid of sex, but because she felt that sex would interfere with her life as a student, with her plans for herself, with her studies, her freedom. She did not want to be tied down. And she felt sex should be a commitment. Her most anguishing problem, however, was the attitude of the other girls in her dormitory. She talked about her boyfriend and his desires and she had explained her reservations, obviously expecting support from her peers. Instead, she had been hurt to find them abrasiver scornful of her virginity.

Our conversation centered about how she could cope with the attitude of these girls with whom she was living, more than how she could cope with her boyfriend’s insistence onsex. Talking seemed to help, and a few weekslater, she reported that life as the “virgin queen” in her dormitory was rather unpleasant, but tolerable. She said she could handle the scorn of her girl to date the young man, whom she still 1 ed very much.

For several weeks, she vacillated bet- ween deciding togo to bed with him or never see him again. As a physician, I felt totally useless. All I could do was listen while she talked out her problem. Finally, she decided there was no solution. At least not in that time and not in that place. She defiidsehd tohal‘eiaifte the university.

e ound support me her girlfriends, she might have decidgg dif- erently. But they were brutally unhelpful. relish her distress

- In fact, they seemedto

Her choice of virginity had made her an outcast. She came to recognize that her openness about her feelings had made her doubly vulnerable.

Case 3— A young teacher complaining of frequent colds, nervousness and fatigue of such intensity that she could barely struggle through the day. General physical and laboratory examination failed to reveal abnormality.

I asked about her social life. She was obviously uneasy but answered my questions openly enough. Then I asked about her sex ual ’ife. She burst into tears. “If you tell me that what I need is a good lay, I’m going to leave,” she sobbed. “That’s what the last doctor I went to see, told me.” .

I was upset to learn that a colleague had diagnosed her problem this crudely. I reassured her that I wasn’t going to recommend anything of the sort, and her story poured out.

She had two very serious boyfriends and had considered marriage, but each man insisted on a sexual relationship before marriage and she wasm’t ready. I pointed out that her physical complaints could be related to her ambivalence about premarital sex. It was easier for her to be ill than to say no.

She accepted this but asked what she was going to do. I told her I thought she should remain a virgin until she was ready to stop being a virgin. She was to do whatever made her most comfortable and notto concern herself about either of the men’s desires.

When seen several months later she felt much better, had little fatigue and was still a virgin. Being able to say “no” definitely and flatly had been a great relief.

» None of the above cases is particularly unusual but demonstrates a couple of myths widely held by adults:

1) that young people know all about sex

2) that most young adults revel in the pleasures of sex, unencumbered by the inhibitions of the past. Both of these are pure fantasy.

While the work of Masters and Johnson over the past two decades has done much to place human sexual response in proper context, while it has helpedto destroy old myths and taboos and helped people of both sexes to accept and enjoy their own sexuality, it has created a whole new series of myths. The youth rebellion against Victorian morality . has not really liberated them, but has transferred sex into an ideology. The new ideology is that sex is good and good sexmeans orgasm and anybody can. The result has been to turn the pleasures of sex into a duty. Along with all this goes the “knowledge” that if you don’t have intercourse, you’ll go crazy—and that virginity is a hang-up.

To my mind, this new ideology is as cruel and dictatorial as Victorian prudery. It embraces the belief that sexual com-

petence and gratification are easily ob-

tained, disregarding some of the un- desirable side-effects of sexual activity. It has used better contraceptive measures, easier abortion and more effective diagnosis and treatment of venereal disease, as arguments to make virginity irrelevant. It refuses to accept virginity as a reasonable, (usually temporary) way of life. In this atmosphere where chastity is considered actually harmful. the new morality allows no choice, it’s “liberal” or nothing and that liberation does not in- clude the freedom to say “no.”

And that’s what this article is all about —to reassure those who are neither desirous of V or ready for a sexual relationship, that they are not wrong or “hung-up.” Respect and responsibility for the sexual partner are as valid as they ever were. And the notion that sex on a trialbasisislessofacommitmentthan marriage and therefore is less upsetting when the relationship ends is also pure myth. Rejection is rejection, whether we call it divorce, puppy love or the turmoil of the young adult. And it hurts; and you’re thevictim; andsexwithavictimisaever good sex. ‘ 4

Cases excerpted from an ' article by Richard V. Lee M.D., Director of Cities, Yale Um. '