Style Report: Sic Transit Gloria, baby.

Sic Transit Gloria. by Jonah CAMPBELL

Having noticed a markedly negative and cynical slant in the past few (or first. few; or all of the) install- ments, of this column (which, despite noncompliance by the staff of this

backwater rag, I had christened “Knives, Bats, New Tats,” not. “style report” ... did someone write “hon- key” on my face? Because if it’s there, I assure you it’s unintentional), I have decided to start shit offright this week by administering mad props to some

'* examplés of lass'‘which Shine through” ‘ipon insurmountable obstacle in my

in the midst of this sea of depressing human refuse which is popular attire. For the next couple of weeks, Ill be speaking to the positive.

First off is a little brand by the

name of Faded Glory. Now I’m not usually big on commodity fetishism, but hey, Faded Glory?’ Ow. I stumbled upon this shit a while back’-when a couple of my friends realized. they both were wearing Faded Glory jock- eys (which have nautical stars on the waistband. Uh, hello?), and yet knew nothing at all about the brand. How these people can know so little about their underwear is beyond me, perhaps they should start doing” their own damn Sone

Of course, was immediately struck > the unrelenting (devastating, even. Ha.) freshness of the name itself, and reacted with an obligatory “No fuckin’ way, that’s the raddest shit ever,” which may, in the eyes of some readers be.a touch dramatic, but come now, Faded Glory? How is that not the most amazing name for a

clothing company ever (underwear, no less)? Holy Outsiders. Holy emo band

-name. Holy succinct alliteration of the

futility of perseverence. The tragic aspect of this oe is that I have no idea where to acquire

these irresistibly mentionable unmen- -

tionables, and so I presume they are the type of thing to be delivered from the firmament ... and God being the petty, vengeful little rotter that He is, will most certainly place obstacle

path.

Mind you, I haven’t actually looked for them anywhere, but I assume that since I hadn’t heard of them sooner, they must be hopelessly obscure (the Almighty’s immature

vendetta against me notwithstanding). |

So it falls upon you, dear reader,- to heed my plight: If anyone on this cam- pus or across this green isle should be in possession of knowledge as to where I might procure these garments, I would be much obliged if you would share such information with me. Further, if there happen to be any Faded Glory-wearers among the popu- lation, they should stumble on down to the Cadre office (room 06 in the basement of Main building) and if I’m around I swear on Joe Hill’s grave [ll give you some sort of prize or some- thing (like I don’t know, a CD I guess), and perhaps, with your per- mission, take a picture of your stank ass to use in a future issue of The Cadre (or political slag campaign if need be).

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