in Rie rey vee ar ren

hey couldn’t do their dishes last Thursday for a very sood reason. Try and bea little sensitive, no matter how annoying they may seem, but not to the point of yecoming a door mat.

fy brother, the Problem Child Chris McCarron

have this six year old brother named Matthew. \iter seeing ‘‘Home Alone”’ and *‘Problem Child’’ I

Ine of the problem child’s first offensive attacks ecurs while he was still crawling in pampers. The rst victim I can recall was my brother Grant and my ideo cassette collection. Matthew thought it was fun }pull and touch the pretty brown tape. This yank- ig, touching and drooling ruined several minutes of idiovisual On more than a few videotapes.

:

ver since Matthew was born our family has loved iving him small amounts of money. We give him

Ne rters and loonies, occasionally a two dollar bill.

dw Matthew loves money and he is ina constant

: arch for money. One day when he was about five,

i,

_ the Problem Child took a fifty dollar bill from my

mother’s purse. Two weeks later mom happened to notice that Matthew had a fifty stuffed inside his wallet along with the two’s. She immediately told Matthew about how wrong this was but she couldn’t get too angry. I found this funny of course. Mom and I talked about Matthew taking the fifty. Isuggested he took it because it was pretty, it being red with horses on the back.

The problem child loves to uproot the carrots in our garden. He does this when they are not mature. He and his friends uproot quite anumber of carrots in one raid. The kids eat ‘emraw and this is devastating to the carrot crop.

My brother Grant brings his girlfriend over quite often. We were surprised to hear one day that the Problem Child went to Julie and said “‘Hey are you movin in or something?’’

Recently Grant and Julie went out to get a video to bring home. Now was the time for the Problem child to strike. Matthew took his rubber dog shit and put it in Grant’s room, waiting to surprise them. When Julie and Grant arrived Julie say the shit and was shocked. She thought that someone had let our poodle into Grant’s room!

Next issue - part two of the Problem Child.

NIGHT IXKRE_

(Oh. Monr- um!

November 21, 1991

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