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“ENGINEERS DO IT WITH PRECISION”

ENGINEERING SOCIETY NEWS

Engineering at its finest If nothing else, our years of engineering will teach us to what degree of accuracy specifications must be followed. Below is a sample of the stringent specifications with which you will be faced:

Hose specifications:

1) All hose is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by rubber centered

around the hole. 2) All hose is to be hollow throughout its entire length. . 3) All hose is to be of the very best quality. 4) All acid proof hose is to be made of acid proof rubber.

5) The O.D. of the hose must exceed the I.D., otherwise the hole would

be on the outside. 6) All hose is to be supplied with nothing in the hole so that water, steam, or other stuff can be put inside at a later date. 7) All hose is to be supplied without abrasions or gouges as these can be more readily added at the job site.

8) All hose tubes are to be cleaned free of coverings such as mud, tar, barnacles, or any form of manure before outer cover is added, as these objects will make lumps under the covering.

9) All hose over 500 ft. long must have the words “‘long hose’ clearly printed on each end so that the distributor will know that it is a long hose. Hose over 2 miles long must also have these words painted in the middle so that the distributor will not have to walk the entire length of the hose to determine if it is a long hose or not.

10) All hose over 6 inches in diameter is to have the words “‘large hose’’ painted on it, so that the distributor will not use it for small hose.

15 rules of the universe

1) One out of every two game show hosts had a severe head injury as a child. 2) No one- but no one- looks good in yellow. 3) Doctors are required by law to be late for appointments. 4) Home is ruled by the sickest person in it. 5) Infants don’t have as much fun in infancy as adults do in

adultery.

6) There is never anybody at work near ‘‘men at work’’ signs.

_ 7) Any job is better than daytime T.V. 8) Whoever snores louder falls asleep first. 9) The cheque is not in the mail. 10) Nobody anywhere has skin the same color as a band aid. 11) All institution food is greasy- even the cornflakes. 12) If you preface a joke by saying, ‘‘This is really funny’’ it won’t be. 13) The lotto is a tax on stupidity. 14) Buy a kid an unbreakable toy and he will use it to break other toys. 15) If you rip that silly tag off your mattress you’ ll become the first person actually arrested, tried, and convicted for doing so.

(22-2) EUGINEELIVG WEEK

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