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January 8, 19 82

Another year, and a new year of terror on the university campus. As I look back on the last 165 days that have brought us here, I smirk at the Vileness, the vulgarity, the bloody gall of "the engineers - those

theiving, lying , scheming,

Sorry about that, my schizophrenia .has been acting up again. Anyway, as I was saying, I look- back on the past year .and smile. It was a good year — I think. No, really, it. was. Just look at the things we did. Despite the failure of both the assassinations of Ronald Reaganand Mrs. Ilsa Hmrpworthy (the ' cleaning lady of 3rd floor Main) , we did manage to get Anwar Sadat. And, surprisingly, one of our biggest successes overseas was an affiliate of the UPEI Engineering Society, commonly knovm as the Red Brigade.

However, closer to home, after proving our worth in snowsoalpturing and welding, we were able to lose the friendship of a few hundred UPEI students. As well, we showed a great proficiency in the use of four letter words (who says we aren't good in English)a.nd we managed to shock and disgust even the parents of some of the more knobby students at UPEI.

It was a good year and there is much more to core (other than our president when he finally gets a date); All I can say from here is watch your step and your girl- friend because I'm out on weekends now. Happy hangovers.

‘ Cranston Snord Rm. 381, Riverside

Apts . Charlottetown -

We the Engineers extend our sincerest appreciation to Paul Robinson ano Mike Evans for the many pictures

of themselves they supplied

for the yearbook .

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THE

1981 Campout On Deoenber 18, the

Engineers, in cooperation with the local Alcoholics Unaninous' Planning ' Oonmtt'ee, sponsored and held their annual celebration of the "Feast of the Hangover". Held again at Riverdale Boy Scout Camp minus the boy scouts, the Engineers gathered for two days to share théir inspiration and Christmas spirits. We-began at about 3 p.m. and many new things were brought up: a vote‘ on a new pub oonmittee;

Chris Taweel brought up a new ski party; and DaImy MacDougall brought up much of his supper. Billy Phillips, though, . just talked about the first thing that came up. Despite the mess from both Danny and Billy, we were able to leave the place much the sameias it was, minus a ' few door hinges.

Daytime Drama

The year is 1982 ‘and the P.E.I. government's policy of socialized medicine has been extended to include "Proxy Papas". That is, any married woman not having a child in the first five years of marriage must receive the services of a UPEI Engineer who will attempt to be the means ‘ of her becoming a ' mother.

The Smiths have no children and the engineer is due. leaves. for work.

Smith He has

a disappointed look as he

dutifully pecks his wife at the door.

Smith: "I'm off. The engineer should be here early.".

He leaves and wife pretties herself, putting on her most seductive negligee.

But instead of the engineer, a door—to- d’oor photographer, specializing. in baby pictures, knocks at her door.

Mrs. Smith:>\"0h, Good morning. " Man: "You

probably 't me,-

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. ENGINEERS

but I represent. . . " Mrs. Smith: "Oh

‘yes, you needn't

explain. My husband said to expect you."

Man: "I make a specialty of babies - especially twins." *

— Mrs. Smith: "That is what my husband said. Please sit

down. "

Man: "Then your husband probably told you that. . . "

Mrs. Smith: "Oh yes, We both agree it is the best thing to do."

Man: "Well, in that case, we might as well get started. "

Mrs. Smith (blushing) "Just... just where do

' we start?" '

Man: "Just leave everything to me, Madam. I recommend two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and a couple on the floor. " ,

Mrs. "Bath-

" :‘tub rider: 4 wonder

Harry and I can't..." Man: "Well, my _ dear lady, even the best

i of us can't guarantee a . good one every time, but

'to her)

say one out of six is bound to be a honey. I usually have the best luck with the shots in the bathtub." I Mrs. Smith: "Pardon me, but it Seems -— a bit informal. " Man: in my line you can't do your best work in a hurry. (He opens his album and shows the baby pictures "look at this baby. It's a good job, . took four hours, but > isn't she a beauty?"

Mrs. Smith: "Yes, a lovely child." Man: "But for a

tough assignment, look at this baby. Believe it or not, it was done

Bl-WE'EKLY ' 5

"Yes , indeed, 3

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one top of a bus at Cavendish beach. " ' Mrs. Smith: "My God."

Man: "It's not hard when a man knows his job. My work is a pleasure. I spent long years perfecting my technique. Now, take this baby. I did it with one shot in Holman's window. "

Mrs. Snith: "I don't believe it."

Man: "And here is a picture of the prettiest twins in town. They turned out‘ exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so— so I difficult. But I ' knocked off the job in Victoria Park ~"on a snowy afternoon. I never worked under such difficult conditions. ‘ It took from two in the aftemaon until five in the evening and people were crowded around four ' or five deep to get a look." '

Mrs. V Smith: "Four or five deep. . . " . Man: "Yes, and more

than three hours. But I had two city oops helping me. I could have done another shot before dark, But by that time the squirrels were nibbling at my and I had to give up. Well, Madam, if you are ready I'll get

7 my tripod set up and get

to work. " _ , . -

Mrs. Smith: "Tripod?"

Man: "Yes, I always use a tripod to rest my equipment on. It's much too heavy for me to hold for any le‘nght of time. Mrs. Smith — Good Lord — Mrs. Smith, have yOu fainted?"

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