PC Vee EE rt law Ae ? 7 eat ee enng Pate e

aginations

[he Adventures of Dr. Simile “Like the 3lack Death’’

Be ndy Wilkins’’. The nurse’s voice sounded an- elic. Randy had been waiting since 9:30 A.M. and it as now close to11:00 A.M. Itseemed like everyone ho came into the room had been treated except for im. Even the people who came in after him had been

ated. It didn’t seem fair, but then again, it didn’t illy matter now. It was finally his turn.

: set the magazine down and proceeded to where the ise was standing. Halfway across the rooma culiar feeling overcame him. It had something to o the magazine he had beenreading. He

pped fora moment and glanced back to where the igazine was lying on the table. There was some- ng odd about that magazine. It had all the qualities it make up a successful magazine but the articles

re written in a different manner. It wasas if

- took the articles froma popular magazine Jre-wrote them in simpler terms. A school child ild pick up that magazine and, with the least bit of culty, he/she could read about the latest develop- its in computer technology. ‘‘Isitachildren’s gazine?’’ Randy asked himself. But then he

lized where he was. This wasn’t any ordinary tor’s office. This was Dr. Simile’s office. And dy wasn’t here to be treated for a sore throat ora ined ankle. No, Randy was here because he was itentionally producing improper locutionary ac-

s. In other words, his English had gone bad. nurse led Randy downa corridor and into aroom was decorated with everything you don’t ordinar- ee inadoctor’sclinic. There was no table bed here were two slider-rockers and a re-cliner

. Although the floor and the walls may have ableachcolour,, they were covered with a dark plush carpet. There was even a stereo system Ided into the wall. It was equipped with four speakers that hung from the four corners of the ng. The only evidence that the room belonged to . would be the diagram that was hanging from jall above the stereo. It was a diagram of the

in brain and it illustrated three areas of the left

hemisphere; the Broca’s area, the Wernicke’s area, and the angular gyrus..

All of this would seem rather strange to someone who entered the room for the first time, but to Randy, who had seen it all before, it was quite normal. The carpet was used to provide better acoustics, the stereo was used to record the patient, and the chairs, well, they’re self explanatory. Tosomeone else the room would be more like a recording studio, but to Randy it was just another room in the doctor’s office.

**Another waiting room,’’ he said hopelessly as he sat down in one of the slider-rockers.

The nurse smiled and said, ‘‘Dr. Simile will be in to see you ina few minutes. He is with another patient atthe moment. Make yourself comfortable.’”’

As she was leaving the room she turned around and pointed to a remote control device at the stereo. After pressing a button she turned and walked out the door. What she left Randy with was the sound ofa man’s voice resounding through the speakers. He spokeina dull monotone:

‘*Personal pronouns: I... You...He...She...It. Demon- strative pronouns: This...That...These...Those. Inter- rogative pronouns: Who...Which...What.’’ etc...

This was new to Randy. He never had to listen to this before and after a few minutes it became excruci- atingly boring. He would have turned it off himself except the stereo was behind a glass door that Dr. Simile kept locked.

‘*This must be another new method of Dr. Simile’s’’, he thought to himself.

It was a about fifteen minutes later when Dr. Simile

camein. Ashe entered the room he clapped his hands together. Atthis, Randy experienced instant reliefas the dull voice ceased to resonate through the speakers.

‘*T should have known,”’ Randy said to himself,

‘*It’saclapper.’’ ‘‘Hello Randy.’’ Dr. Simile’s voice was strong and articulate. If one was to judge him by his voice alone one would guess that he was a captain ora general in the Reserves. His voice had that certain commanding air about it. The interesting thing about him is that his presence seemed to contra

January 23, 1992

Paae 3