Fact and Opinion

by Stephan MacLEOD

FACT: Halloween is based on an ancient holiday ‘All Hallows Eve’. It was the one day of the year where dead spirits were allowed to walk the earth.

OPINION: Now it’s the one day of the year where you can get free candy just by beating up little kids.

FACT: Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any group of mammals that exist.

OPINION: What about Batman?

FACT: The celebrations of the eve of All Saints’ Day, All Saints’ Day, and

All Souls’ Day were all called

Hallowmas in the 800s when the cel- ebrations were designated by Pope Boniface IV.

OPINION: Hallowmas is a bad name because it ignores the most important

aspect of Halloween: the rock group Ween.

FACT: The Catholic Church’s All Saints’ Day (Nov. 1) was added to the list of holy days in an effort to draw attention away from the witches’ new year, Samhain (pronounced ‘Sow- en’), otherwise known as Halloween. OPINION: . The Church. ; created another holy day to compete with Groundhog Day by claiming that Jesus ate an-entire groundhog on February 2nd.

FACT: Bats fingers are actually parts of its wings and their “fingers” are bigger then their body.

OPINION: That must make picking stuff up very difficult. Although I wouldn’t mind a pair of gloves that were bigger than my body.

FACT: The first LI'VE-ACTION (i.e., not counting Fred & Wilma Flintstone, who were the true first) TV couple to share a bed were Darrin & Samantha Stevens from Bewitched. Producers felt they could get away with it because Samantha wasn’t human, she was a witch.

OPINION: It was okay because everyone knew that witches and cavewomen were sluts.

FACT: Bats are not blind. They are also not rodents.

OPINION: Well that ruins two of my favourite sayings: “Blind as a bat.” and “Hey look, that fucking bat is a rodent.”

FACT: None of the witches put to death in the Salem Witch trials was burned at the stake. They were all

hanged but one, Giles Cory, who was pressed to death. In fact, there are no official written reports of ANY witches in the US being burned; burning was a European practice associated with the Catholics. The people in the New World were so opposed to Catholic procedures that they even rebuked their procedures for the punishment of witchcraft as well.

OPINION: When you’re pressed to death is that like when a bunch of people poke you for a couple hours? Or does it involve some type of iron?

FACT: Dal Maxvill of the 1968 Cards had the most official at-bats (22) without collecting a single hit in the World Series.

OPINION: Didn’t this guy ever hear of bunting?? Happy Halloween.

eg*

If you enjoy looking at photographs like the ones on this page, we highly recommend that you look at the middle spread of this issue of The Cadre right now. If you already have, then look again anyway — the pictures are different every time. Spooky, eh?