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The Panther Prints

January 21,

By Bawb

Bill Clinton Sex

Scandal

The immorality of the American president has reared its hideous head once again in this highly hyped up scandal concerning the revealing of his genital area to awoman in a motel room. Apparently, the case was....uh, well...actually-- Youknow, it’s the darnedest thing , but last night as I was in the middle of watching the coverage of this story on

the news, for this commen- tary that I had to do on it, unfortunately my dog, Carl come along and like acci- dentally changed the chan- nel on the TV with his paw. It was kind of unbelievable, actually, and I gave him a biscuit for doing it, but any- way, he changed it to Charles Grodin Live.

Man, this has to be the funniest show on TV. Not

because of his sense of hu- mour of course, but just be- cause you get to watch a televised nervous break- down over the ongoing events of the O.J. Simpson trial every night. Man it’s cool. Especially cause no one even cares about O.J. Simpson anymore. But that kind of got me thinking about Mister Rogers. Like, if there were ever.a guy who looked like he was on the verge of a nervous break- down, it would be him. The man’s like 80 years old, he obviously lives by himself in some kind of world of make believe, and he sits around and plays with dinkies and blocks all day long. Whoa. But you know, it would almost be different if he was good at playing with the blocks. But man, he sucks. I could build bet- ter than him when I was

three years old.

One time I saw him pathetically trying to play basketball on the show, and I’m telling you, I would have paid a lot of money just to see Shaq make a guest ap- pearance on that episode just to stuff his white ass. He’d be like, “You in my house now Rogers.” Man, that would be cool. Straight outta da hood, that’s for sure.

~ Which kind of brings me to the Backstreet Boys. Uh, for one thing, these pretty boy preps do not look like they are from the back- street. When I think ofback- street I think of like poverty stricken old guys living in alleyways of cardboard boxes. Now, if these guys were called the Backstreet Bums, and were senior citi- zen drunkasses doing the Macarena, then that would make some sense, and

would be entertaining. But they’renot. And man, some- one should just shoot them. Ofcourse, the thing is that if they were actually from the backstreet, then one could go to these slums, kill them, and most likely get away with it. Which would be mean, yet soothing at the same time.

Unfortunately, how- ever they are on my TV screen instead. Which is not very fun. Oh, well. I guess soon their five seconds of fame will be over, and they will probably end up in jail or something, charged in some kind of sex scandal, like so many like them be- fore their time. Oh yeah. I forgot all about Bill Clinton’s dick. Whoa. Oh well.

_UPEI Business Students Travel to Conferences

By Finley Martin

Twelve UPEI business students and one professor travelled to conferences in On- tario and Quebec, ‘early in November of 1996. The stu- dents took part in two confer- ences attended by university students from across Canada.

Six students (Shawn Rodgerson, Mark MacNeill, David DeBlois, Gerry Law- less, Steve Penney, and Shane MacEachern) and Professor Ab Ferris all travelled to King- ston, Ontario to the Queen’s Conference on the Business Environment Today (or Q- BET).

Each of the delegates paid their own fees and rented a van to get to the conference. The ride to and from the Queen’s conference was said

to be very enjoyable, espe- cially when “Redline” Ferris was behind the wheel.

The conference _ itself had an impressive array of speakers. Some of those speak- ers included Dr. Lloyd Atkinson, Chief Investment Strategist for Perigee Invest- ment Counsel Inc.; Gary Reinblott, former vice presi- dent of MacDonalds Restau- rants of Canada; Jerrie Fowler, Assistant Deputy of the Infor- mation High New Brunswick; and Ms. Kompston Drakes, President and General Man- ager of GM of Canada Ltd. The delegates agreed that the conference was a very worth- while experience and that they took a lot information back with them.

On the same weekend, six other UPEI business stu- dents (Dale Proud, Scott Younker, Jonathan Mosher, Geoff Francis, Jonathan Arnette, and Finley Martin) attended the first annual Concordia Conference on Sports Marketing. Although the conference is in its infancy, it was extremely well organ- ized and had a strong turnout of Canadian university stu- dents from as far east as Nova Scotia and as far west as Al- berta.

Some of the speakers at the conference included Rich- ard Pound, Vice President of the International Olympic Committee; Peter Loyello, Director of Media Relations for the Montreal Expos; Peter

McAskille, President of 2nd Dimension International. The conference concluded on Fri- day night with a banquet at Montreal’s Molson Hall with a keynote address by Director of Marketing for Molson

O’Keefe Breweries, Len Rhodes. The UPEI delegates that

attended these conferences Tee

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unanimously agreed that the conferences were a positive experience. They learned a lot, enjoyed themselves tre- mendously, and made many new friends in the business community. Some of the del- egates have already expressed an interest in returning to the conferences next year.

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