“This isn’t my kind of Bath house.”

burly Beefeater gave us a tour. We even saw the crown jewels. We took in the London Planetarium, complete with cheesy techno sounds and vomit inducing voyages to black holes. Next up, Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum. I am kicking myself for not sneaking a Polaroid of Jackie Chan’s wax stunt double: The London Dungeon was a highlight, with its boat ride through the sewers. and .over abundance of information on torture devices and witchcraft. The Design Museum is very interesting but did not have nearly enough blood. The Millennium Wheel or the-London Eye

is a half hour Ferris wheel of sight- seeing splendor. The British Museum is breathtaking, but it makes you won- der what artifacts they actually have left in Greece, Rome and parts of Africa.

Piccadilly Circus is neither a circus nor a good place to buy pickles. Think mini-Times Square. Hyde Park is where you go when you want to get away from the city within the city. It is huge and a great place to gather your thoughts. The twenty pound admission to the London Zoo (when it was clos- ing in an hour) proved to be a stum- bling block. We peeked over the fence and looked at a bird or two. .

Did I mention the costume museum in Bath? Must have forgotten about that. Well, what can you really say about old clothing in temperature controlled cases? Most of the tours

. involved a hand-held phone-like unit

that would play back information about things you were seeing, based on a numbered system. “Press 54 if you don’t give a shit.”

CONSUME THE NOURISHMENT

One of the first things I ate in England was a McHotdog. I passed on the McDonut and went for Burger King’s diddy donuts. Heinz salad cream seemed to be a pretty popular “buddy” (read: sandwich) spread. Cornish Pasties were a cheap and hearty way to munch on the run. Grocery stores were an attraction unto themselves, from a_ super-sized

Sainsbury’s, to the Telco, to the Marks & Spencer. They had this fake meat stuff called Quorn which wasn’t too bad, for the record. Staying once in a bed and breakfast, we were treated to a full English breakfast complete with grease and various meats. Canadian back-bacon seems popular, which is odd because you rarely find it in Canada. A Vegan Tai Buffet on Greek St near Tottenham Court tube station

' proved to be the food highlight for

sure. All you can eat for five pounds ($11.75) in London is a steal. Over all, I got to see how we have evolved on this side of the pond by outlawing Sunday Shopping and hiding liquor in liquor stores.

We ate at an American rainfor- est-themed restaurant with monkeys and stuff. Our last supper consisted of a hearty order of fish & chips. Someone should have told me that chips were fries! And they should rename it fish tail and fries. MEDIA

British TV (Five channels, but only four in the zone we were staying) is an interesting thing. In between The Simpsons, Will & Grace, the original

Who Wants to be a Millionaire, and The Naked Chef, there are enough reality shows to make Fox blush. Whether it is becoming a model, a pop star, challenging your worst fears, bar- gain hunting, fixing up real estate or Big Brother, “reality” is everywhere. Kylie Monogue (her new songs will be invading your mind soon), Posh Spice and David “Golden Balls” Beckham are also everywhere. The “Presenting” industry is huge.

Hosts of shows are just as big as movie and music stars. The live music shows have their interesting moments, like Top of the Pops, Top of the Pops II, Later, with Jools Holland, and Stars in their Eyes (which features normal folk dressing up and perform- ing like celebrities ... there is that dang reality connection again). I didn’t buy a newspaper, but I heard some of them have nude girlies in them. As for Internet, the two magic words are “Easy Everything.” You get cheap access at about half a dozen locations.

Yeah, sure it.rained a lot, but I realized I would go back to England. I would even consider living there.

The UPEI Theatre Society presents its Night of One Acts November 22, 23 & 24, 2001 at The Barn (second level)

The piays to be performed are: Riders to the Sea by JM Synge The Sex Lives of Super Heroes by Stephen H. Gregg The Batcony Scene by Donald Elser

General Admission $8.00 Students & Seniors $5.00 Tickets available at the door

Doors open at 7:00PM. Curtain goes up at 7:30PM

yueare sce) 6 Gres ste: ter!

ilre(upei.ca

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