JANUARY 25, 2005 |

THE CADRE ¢ I]

OPINION & COMMENTARY

The Great Wall of Chin.... Duffy!

Steele Campbell Contributor

cae Great Wall of China is a fascinating subject of history. Spreading more than 6 F208 kilometers and built out of quarried granite and fired bricks, the Great Wall represents a marvel of the modern world. And as anyone who has studied Asian history (yeah, you in the back) would know, the Great Wall of China, alternatively known as the Great Wall of 10,000 Li, was constructed for one major purpose: the Chinese wanted to protect themselves from invading Mongols from the surrounding regions.

Well, now China isn’t the only kid on the block with a wall, the University of Prince Edward Island has one too! This one isn’t quite as long, stretching only about a total of 2 kilometers; nor is it hand made from quarried stone; it was made by a machine (and if one were to examine it, it would likely read “MADE IN CHINA’ - the irony).

Nonetheless the wall, hereby called “The Great Wall of Duffy’ is quite the impressive beast capable of keeping out that blind guy that walks with a limp, and who can’t go more than five or six feet without breaking into a sweat. But the Great Wall of Duffy also serves another purpose: it makes damned sure that no student will be able to easily move through campus.

Ultimately its presence raises a few questions, at least with me. First, since I don’t see much construction going on in the field or on the exterior of Duffy (though I have been told it is there), would it not have been simpler to just make the fence smaller before the snow fell? Certainly it wouldn’t have been difficult to at least leave some semblance ofa path through the football

field, or through (and around) Duffy.

Second, who is this TOs cle supposed to repel? The only people who would likely steal construction supplies are people who do construction work — such people usually have a pair of wire

cutters handy. Heck, most people who

aren’t construction workers could get a cheap pair that would do the job.

_ Third and finally, barring a Mongol invasion from New Brunswick or a bunch of East Germans trying to get to our little corner of boredo .. solitude, why is there a giant fence around Duffy? Every time I pass the building since the snowfall, I see no construction going on outside (hence, no need for a fence), nor do I see any workers (I will assume they are inside Duffy). In fact, the only purpose the

fence seems to guarantee is a reserved

parking place for their trucks. If they are indeed inside Duffy, then why aren’t they parking in the parking lots (and making the University some money while they are at it)?

Last time I checked, I am paying the University for a learning environment, not a constructing one, and at this point the only thing I am learning is patience and cold weather survival.

If, however, the university refuses to remove the fence, or open it up, then at least put it where it belongs: around the Classroom Centre. That way it would mesh with the whole “concentration camp” motif that that building has going for it. And besides, no one likes it in there anyway, having the walk around it would likely be a pleasure for many.

Toilet Humour

Steele Campbell Contributor

The University of Prince Edward Island seems to be a campus that people either love (at times, to an unhealthy extreme) or detest right alongside Céline Dion. The detractors in the latter group tend to have two major criticisms: the students at the University of Prince Edward Island lack any enthusiasm or school spirit.

While I cannot respond to the lack of school spirit, I can most certainly attest to enthusiasm within the hallowed halls of UPEI. Perhaps it is true that on White Night Wednesdays at the Wave, or while selling one’s soul purchasing textbooks students aren’t bubbling with excitement, but the students at UPEI are some of the most creative students I have had the pleasure of meeting — albeit through unusual venues.

Going into the men’s room on the basement floor of the Main Building one cannot help but marvel at some of the pearls of wisdom to be found there (my commentary in italics):

1 Urinating is so petty Bourgeois.

End capitalist “Bodily Functions”

Now. No more pissing for the

Man! (While Iam sure the

author was good intentioned,

one cannot help but grin considering this Marxist was _ sitting on a throne.) - Beside the above:

No way, dude, excretion is so

transgressive, the triumph of the

corporeal over the synthetic ideal.

Fuck borders; transgress

boundaries, MOVE THAT

SHIT. (With that last line, I

think I can assume this person

4

was experiencing constipation of one orifice and diarrhea of another.)

Black Sharpie markers now %50 off @ UPEI Bookstore (Of course, the omnipresent marketing student, always taking advantage of a good situation. )

Live Free or Die (This is New Hampshire s motto. What I’m not sure of is whether this is a promise, or a threat.)

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.

-Aleister Crowley

(RCMP Response: You go ahead, then you'll be meeting Bubba in maximum security for 25. Let’s just hope he doesn t share that same free- thinking philosophy.)

I HATE YOU HARRY KANE! (Tell me I was the only one to read I HATE YOU MARRY KATE?)

dsoancate a isa URL. One must admit it is a creative name. )

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