J [Fen THE COLONIAL Hanan]

THE SAILOR’S GRAVE. Tunis is in the lone, lone sea, A spot unmarked but holy, For there the gallant and the free, In his ocean bed hes lowly. Down, down beneath the deep, That oft in triumph bore him, He sleeps a soft and peaceful sleep, With the salt waves dashing o’er him. He sleeps serene and safe, From tempest and from billow, When stormsthat high above him chafe, Scarce .ck his peaceful pillow . The sea and him, in death, They did not dare to sever; It was his home when he bad breath—- ’Tis now his home for ever ! Sleep on, than mighty dead, A glorious tomb they've found thee, The broad blue sky above thee spread, The boundless oceaii round thee! No vulgar feet tread here—— No hands profane shall move thee ;— But gallant hearts shall proudly steer, And warriors shout above thee; And though no stone may tell Thy name, thy worth, t y glory, They rest in hearts that loved thee well,

. And they grace Biitannia’s story ! Q i H' 1‘

IT’S NAE FUN, THAT I”

, AN: CANTIE SANG. Ye may laugh brawly i’ the now,

Ye may joke as you like; But ye shouldna say the hinnie's good

Afore ye tak’ the bike. Love does weel enough to joke about, ‘ When comes the glonmin’ bat; But marriage is an awfu’ thing :—

lt's nae fun, that!

We twa are geyan young yet, We ha‘ena meilile gear, And, ifgluikitly we okit, We wad aye be toi iii’ sair; Maybe povert wad Inuk’ us -~ Like our collie and the cat 2- An' tenrfu’ con and scartit lugs— lt's nae fun, that! The men are in a hurry aye—— Will ye i'c a body time? And yet, needna forward look, I carina say a sty me; To gi’o a bod 's sel' awn' e For—’od! kenna what, It ars a thoughtless lassie think— t's nae fun, that!

And now the cloud is on your brow, [shouldna vex you sae; Yet in my last free maiden hour, Why mind you what I say? My first love and my last are you, My lassie's heart you caught— 0! guess my love by what ye feel— Its nae fun, that! From Poems, by Robert Nicoll.

" It may not be out ofplace here to state the circumstances un- der which the above “ cantie sang" was written. In a company one evening, in Edinbur h, where Mr. Nicoll was present, a young lady was very much rallied on the subject ofmarriage; till, think- ing that the joke was carried a little too far, she put an and lo the teasing by exclaiming—“ It's nae fun, that !"—a phrase which at once caught the humour ofthe poet, and the song was produced that same night.

' m D IN N E R. It has been truly said, that nothing can be undertaken or commemorated in England without involving the necessity ofa dinner. An Englishman not only fights better on a full stomach, but—it would seem—gives a better account of every faculty he possesses when once he has performed the grateful sacrifice to Ceres and Bacchus. There is some- thing in the word “dinner” which stimulates his energies to a degree that no other inducement can create ; it is the test ofhis zeal for the good of his country, the happiness of his kind, the prosperity of the many, disadvantage of the few; it signalises his patriotism, it demonstrates his loy- altv. It is in the latter point of view that we have at the pre- sent momcnt to consider it. Of the earnest devotion to their Sovereign of the members of the learned profession whose gite is in the Inns of Court, no doubt can possibly be entertained; and it must be admit- ted thit the manner in which they give expression to their sentiments is perfectly characteristic. \Vc have two state- ments before Its, illustrative of the course adopted by the studious denizens of the Middle Temple and the serious ben- chars of Grey’s liiti, both of which are to the purpose. The first runs thus :— “ At the Middle Temple Hall, a turtle, venison, and cham- pagne dinner is announced to be given 011 Monday next, the 61; ,1 J uric, to celebrate the happy escape of her JIajesty from as- afi'nah'on !" The second, which appeared in yesterday’s Herald, is as follows :— “Gnav’s Iim HALL—The bencliers ofthe society having ordered drum to be distributed, yesterday, to each mess throughout t e all, the health ofthe Queen was drunk in the most enthusiastic manner, after an address from the treasurer, in which he with much feeling admitted to the miraculous escape of her Majesty from the late treasonablc attempt.” Here is what Tony Lumpkin calls “ a concatenation ac- cordingly.” Her Majesty is happily preserved from assassi- nation, and therefore tliegentlemeii of the Middle Temple resolve to give themselvcsa capital dinner of“ turtle, venison, and champagne.” The attempt ofa truitoris frustrated, and the Bencliers of Gray‘s Inn carouse, iii “ potations, pottlc deep,” to the confusion of the assassin, and—their own im- measurable satisfaction. lfevents of'siich a nature are to be celebrited alter this fashion, we almost tremble for the con- segegences. It is evident that the sons of Tliemis do not mu- m t any very marked dislike for the good things of this world. ndeed, the contrary is apparent. Is not then the precedent a dangerous one? The Queen’s life is endanger- ed. The Templars love good dinners. The Benchers‘of Gray’s Inc have a tendency towards champagne. How is the desire of the learned gastronomes and gourmets to be gra- tified ? By putting her Majesty’s life in peril. Answer, ye learned in the law, is not the deduction a legitimate one? 'The allover the Queen escapes, the greater will be the con- sumption of turtle and venison,—the more freely the corks Will fly about in the hall. Who shall say that to ensure so desirable a result, an “attempt” may not be got up weekly dunng the turtle-and-venison- season ? It would not be difficult to find certain of“ the unemployed,” who, for the consideration of free quarters in a house of restraint, would readily simulate treason, and thus furnish the Benchers with a pretext for loyalty until the long vacation.

It used to be proverbially said, that “ wretches hang that jnrymeu may dine ;”—-we have improved upon' that Wind. 1119 in our day,—tbe nation has only to escapee great cala- mity, and the event is celebrated with “turtle, venison, and champagne.”—-Landon Herald.

AN OLD BAILEY DEFENCE.

Gentlemen of the Jury,—We have heard the evidence of the Witnesses for the prosecution. 1 would not for the world attempt to throw a shade of suspicion upon the tes- timony given. They are, doubtless, all honourable men, and have a firm belief in the truth of what they have stated ; but I WlllPl'OVB to you, indubitably prove, that they may not only be mistaken, but that they are ! Gentlemen ofthe ilury this occurrence took place on a windy day; the wind blewz from the North-east. Now, we all know from experience we effects of a north-east wind,—the bitter enemy of asthma and rheumatism, and the unfailing friend ofapothecaries and lozenge-makers. The Wind was North-east; now, assu-

standing among some ofthe operatives. at the first tier of apartments, and the corbels for many of the windows already display number ol‘sbields, charged with the royal‘arms of England before and after the conquest, together with those of the royal continental houses with w hich the reigning family is intimately allied.

all? flotouiatmeraw: ‘

ming that the respectable witnesses. were not affected by shortness of breath or rheumatic twmges, still 1 am sure that the laehrymal glands were excited, that the visual organs were rendered defective in their perception,' and that what they did see was magnified through thefmedium of their in- tears ! ’

vogitfilgmen of the Jury,—l trust that these philosophical reasons will not be blown upon as windy arguments; they have more to do with the case of my unfortunate client than you imagine. The prisoner at the bar is accused of steal- inga hat, alias a beaver, alias _a tile ; MW, 1 mean to prove that the wind was primd fact: the offender, and, even in your severest judgment, must be accounted a perhaps cri- minis. . I

The prosecutor swears that my client stretched up his bet,

this statement, swearing that the wind took it oh; and my client picked it up. This is very material. It is true he ran away with it; for be was listless himself,

mortals.

The wind had affected his eyes as Well as the \vitnesses’, and he could not see the bald head of the proprietor ofthe beaver, (who had been so unceremoniously liliti_led,) among the pedestrians of a crowded street; and this ‘Is the n10st charitable construction we can place upon his actions. He placed the but upon his head—a very fit place, you Will allow—and it fitted him exactly. He ran away, It is true, for the outcry was so great that be was alarmed. He dodged in and out a stand of coaches, galloped down the street, panted through courts and lanes, and at last bolted down a blind alley, where he was captured by his pursuers, who, like cunning beaver hunters, followed him >\V.llll shouts and laughter. iVl‘iy, the sport was worth the price of the best l’errin or Frank ever manufactured !

They all swear that they found the property of the pro: secutor upon my client, but that it was minus the crown. Now, Gentlemen of the Jury, I appeal to your good sense. My client is indicted for stealing a hat, and it is positively sworn that they found the said lint upon the prisoner. denyit—l deny it upon theirowu evidence. A crown with— out a hat is a very tangible and useful thing, as we all know; but a but without a crown is a nonciitity,—-a useless thing,— in fact, no but at all. Deprivc a king of his crown, and he is no longer a king ;—deduct a crown from a sovereign, and the sovereign is transformed into fifteen shillings :—tnke the crown from an arch, and It falls to the ground,—and so, Gen— tlemen of the Jury, must this charge against my client. There is an insurmountable flaw in the indictment, the be- nefit of which I trust you will give to my unfortunate client. —Bentley’s Miscellany jbr .May.

LUDICROUS cmcums'rxuce INA Cannon—Speaking of first impressions at church, brings to my mind a ludicrous circumstance that happened some fifty or sixty years ago at Church. ' The Rector, though a man of profound learning, and a great theologian, was ofsiicli eccentric habits as often to create a doubt among the vulgar whether he was at all times campus mentis. Having remarked fbr several suc- cessive Sundays a gentleman who was a parishioner in- variably using a seat in a pew next to that in which a young Widow lady had her sitting, he intently eyed them, and at

* one time detected the young gentleman slyly drawing the

lady’s glove from ofl'tlie back of the pew where she was ac- customed to place it (her hands and arms were delicately fair), and placing iii it a small neatly-folded note. By and by the lady’s prayer-book fell—of'course accidentally—from the ledge of her pew into the gentleman’s; he picked it up, found a leaf'turned down, and he hastily scanned a. passage, which evidently caused a smile of complacency. Our minis- ter saw all their sly proceedings, and continued to watch them with scrutinizing eye for two successive Sundays. On the third, as soon as tho collects were read, and while the hostile yet obsequiously waited to attend him to the chancel, our eccentric pastor, in a strong and distinct voice said—“ I publish the beans of marriage between M. and N. (delibe- rately pronouncing the trainee of the parties); ifany ofyou know just cause,” &0. The eyes of the congregation were turned on the widow and our gay Lothario; the lady suffus- ed with blushes, and the gentleman crimsoned with anger; she fanning herself with vehemcnce, and be opening and shutting the pew door with rage and violence; the minister meanwhile proceeding through his accustomed duties with the same decorum and ease as if perfectly innocent of the agitation he had excited. The sermon preached and the service ended, away to the Vestry rushed the party, at the heels of the pastor. “ Who authorised you, Sir, to make such a publication of banns P” demanded they both in a breath. “Authorised me P” said heywith a stare which heightened their confusion. “Yes, Sir, who authorised you ?” “Ob,” said the minister, with a sly glance at each, “ifyou don’t approve ofit, l’ll forbid the bonus next Sunday.” “Sir,” said the lady, “you have been too oflicious already; nobody re- quested you to do any such thing; yeti had better mind your own business!” “ Why, my pretty dear,” said he, patting her on the cheek, “ whatl have done has been all in the way of business, and if you do not like to wait for three publi- cations, l advise you, Sir, (turning to the gentleman), to pro- cure the license, the ring, and—the fee, and tlieti the whole matter may be settled as soon as to-morrow.” “ \Vell,” re- plied the gentleman, addressing the widow, “ with your per- mission 1 will get them, and we may be married in a day or two.” “Oh, you may both do as you please,” pettislilv, yet nothing loth, replied the lady. It was but a day or two'after the license was procured, the person received his fee, the bridegroom his bride,and the widow for the last time threw her gloves over the back ofthe pew; and it was afterwards said that all parties were satisfied with their gains—Literary Gazette.

INCIDENT AT THE BATTLE or TALAVERA.—Tlle fight- ing had lasted without intermission from five in the morn- ing. The slaughter on both sides had been immense, and the heat had become intolerable. By a sort of tacit under- standing, the struggle ceased on both sides about nine o’clock, each availing themselves of the brief repose which both so much required. The French appeared dispirited; for three hours, not a movement was made nor a musket was dischar- ged; “and it was a question with us whether we should advance, and in our turn become the assailants, or remain quietly where we were, and await the result of the enemv's deliberations.” During this cessation of hostilities an inci- dent ofrare occurrence in war produced an interesting dis- play ofgenerous feeling between two brave and noble-min- ded enemies. “ A small stream, tributary to the Terms, flowed through a part of the battle-ground, and separiited the combatants. During the pause that the heat ofthe wea— ther and the wear-iness of the troops hail produced, both armies went to the banks of the rivulet for water. The men approached each other fearlessly, threw down their caps and muskets, chatted to each other, like old acquaintances, and exchanged their canteens and wine flasks. All asperity of feeling seemed forgotten. To a stranger they would have appeared more like an allied force than men hot from a fe- rocious conflict, and only gathering strength and energy to recommence it anew. But a still nobler rivalry for the time existed; the interval was employed in carrying of the wounded, who lay intermixed upon the hard contested field; and to the honor of both be it told,‘tliat each endeavoured to extricate the common sufferers, and to remove their unfortu- nate friends and enemies, without distinction. Suddenly the bugles sounded, the drums beat to arms; many of the rival soldiery shook hands, and parted with expressions of mutual esteem, and in ten minutes after they were again at the bayonet’s point.”—Marwell’s Life of Wellington.

New Houses or PARLIAMENT.-—-The progres of this truly plendid pile of building has been very active, considering its immense length, since the disagreements and misunder-

It has now arrived

MsHEME'r ALL—The Paclia is a man of low stature, is a

good deal marked with the small-pox, his complexion sallow,

his eyes quick and penetrating. He wearsa fine white

to be depended upon, by reason of their being liable to

and took it off; now the witnesses have proved the error of"

and probably took it for one of those windfalls which For-j tutie sometimes so opportuncly throws in the Way of poor-

I beforehand.

beard; and, when in good humour, has a most fascinating

O

[hay—Mail.

/,

' ' ises ~ manner; but, when out of temper, his eyes sparklfigl: {:uc himself tip in his .coi'neii,l and soon cpgzztéggsfylpélindeed fond easier led than driven. g e is easy 0 , d in that is

' ' ' to be informed of every i g . OfEOSSIpmg’ and see'ms d ‘ He has many friends either said or done in Alexan ria. . ' the mmgs

' hen he takes a liking, among the Franks, and w .1 d alace and ' t a very ban some p , fortune Is made. He has but . ' I harem ' ' ' to the palace Is tie , furnished it With taste. OppOSI 1d . n u ' ' ' ' entleman has give p where his wrfe resrdeq, but the o g N , War in Syria- ' ’ to that estabhshmenL—Com. apter s _ hlsAvtlsTisQUlVOCAL WARRAN'I‘Y.——verhtll warranties are not

misrepresentation. For example, _In a case pflgraud some years back before_ thpI inagfyzgzls. 3f 8 0;:ka was h t a )erson in ie ci -

iglifdrebiytaupurtibaser if his horse would draw? wouldst bless thine eyes,”_ said be, “if thou (it-)1]. s was him draw.” On this implied warranty, the baigairlid “0t effected ; but, on its being found the horse woui this draw, the quaker was i-emonstrated With, and .matees ‘6 answer—“ltold thee, friend, it‘would delight thine cjf . see iiiv horse draw; 1 am sure It would delight mini, 0| never could make liiilp (,l‘l’gtw (rim ounce In his life. ——

‘ Ho 1 . imro . H‘éiiiidi’ie Faiiiii, div A “Novel.” QUESTIONl—lxalgn‘ Scott was at London when gas light was first spoken o . .n his return to Edinburgh, being in company WlElll splinel Vinny. intelligent gentlemen, members ofthe legal sin '0: egi‘ea to cd professions, he told them of the novelty o pififnm cng- liglit London with coal smoke. He, and the trite lbgnove“ panv, broke out into a hearty laugh at this piece oh {001s “Gentlemen,” Scott observed, “1_ must confess such [h r this man with his coabsmoke light, are worse t argodf; fools—they are the most stubborn fools, and cgunot e i - suaded iii anv manner from their inononiama.‘ Sciiie_twen tv vears thereafter, Sir VVplteé Scott was appornted Director ofthe Edinburo'h Gas Lig it ompany. . .

PUNCTUALITT.—lf you 'desire t9 enjoy life, aVOId ulnpunc- tual people. They impede busrness and puisonbp 08:13:}. Make it your own rule, Iiot only to be punctual, pt :1. i c Such a habit secures composure, which is es- sential to happiness: For want ofit many people live It] a constant fever, and put all about them in a fever too.

QUID Pao Quo.—Reciprocal flattery often passes for mu- tual merit; though such base coin, when detected, ought to be nailed to the 'counter, to prevent it any further passmg current. Swift observes: “This is a sensrble author—lie thinks as I do.” “ My wife’s nephew,” says the Doctor, “ is a sensible lad. He reads my writing, likesmy stories, ad- mires my singing. and thinks "as 1 do in politics: a youth of parts and considerable promise.” . I

The woman who regularly reads the newspaper wrl. be so much the more suitable a companion for a well-informed husband, and exert far more influence In the family than she otherwise could. Moral.—-Every married man should take a newspaper.

There was much sound truth in the speech ofa country lad to an idler, who boasted his descent from an anoient fit- mily. “So much the.worse for you,” said the peasant; “a: we ploughmen say, the older the seed the worse the, crop.

A man in Richmond, U. S., has issued a prospectus for a paper, to be started just as soon as the proprietors. find out what will please every body. The first number Will proba- bly be issued on doomsday, or the day after.

Goon—A general Council of the Cherokee Indians have passed a law, that all spirituous liquors found at any time in their nation shall be poured out on the ground.

Mice, it is said, have such an aversion to the common Spearmint, that they will not approach a crib or granary in which a few sprigs of this herb are strewed.

A SUDDEN Rise IN FORTUNE—Under the head “ What six years may do for a man,” the American Traveller says. that “Burleson, who was recently elected vice-president of the republic of Texas, was a boatinan on the Champlain canal in 1835.”

THE CHEMICAL CONSTITUTION or PLANTS.——l“08t of our readers are aware that the greater part of all vegetables consists of but four elements—namely, carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and nitrogen; very often ofthe first three alone; while the remainder is composed ofcertain saline, earthy and metallic compounds, which form the ashes that remain when vegetables are burned. The former are called the organic, the latter the inorganic elements ofplatits. Professor Liebig has demonstrated that the latter, although occurring in ,very small quantity, are yet as essential to the development ofthe plant as the former; and it is obvious that the first inquiry, in such a work as his, must be as to the sources from which all these necessary constituents are derived, and the best means of supplying them. With regard to the carbon of plants, the general opinion of writers on vegetable physi- ology, and of practical agriculturists, attributes its origin to the substance called humus, or vegetable tnould, which is present in all fertile soils, and which is merely the remains of former vegetables in a state of decay. This substance, ei— ther alone or in combination with lime or other alkalies, is believed to be absorbed by the roots, and thus directly to furnish carbon for the plant. But this View has been shown by M. Licbig to be quite untenable; and he has demonstrat- ed, by a most ingenious convincing train of argument, that the carbon ufplauts is derived from the carbonic acid of the atmosphere. In the economy ofiiature, the supply ofcar- ban to plants is beautifully associated with the restoration to the atmosphere of the oxygen removed from it by the res- piration of'animals and other processes, and mm preserves the air constantly in the same state of fitness for the life of animals.-——~Quorterly Review.