Want to make students more healthy? Then lower fucking tuition! How can somebody eat right when they can only afford Mr. Noodles? Or find time to exercise when they have to work part time and study? Or sleep when you’re so stressed out that all you daydream about is Friday and drinking yourself into a coma? Or quit smoking when that pack and a half a day is the only thing keeping you from pulling your own hair out, and fling- ing yourself into a hay bailer?

The... Health Fair drove me crazy. The only reason | went was because they had free coffee and free condoms.

The UPEI Health Fair on- February 27 drove me crazy. The only reason I went was because they had free coffee and free condoms. I seized

Health Fair Unfair

by Thomas LLOYD

dents to hand me condoms, and once my pockets were filled with lube and

condoms, I looked around the fair...

When I walked out of there, I wanted to set up my own both on the topic of “How Not to Have Fun,” with a pic- ture of Marge Simpson saying “Don’t do this, don’t do that!”

When I walked out of there, | wanted to set up my own both on the topic of “How Not to Have Fun.”

The fair didn’t really tell you not to do stuff, but gave you the facts on what the consequences are. If you smoke, you get cancer. Duh! Every action has risks involved with it. Where was the booth about how to cross the street or how to eat pretzels? Everyone knows that we all need to eat right and get lots of exercise and sleep. Do we constantly need to be reminded on how unhealthy we are?

the opportunity for young-nursing-stu----And-we-allzknow-that there are risks

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SUCCESSORS WANTED! : : fi : The Cadre staff is graduating, moving on, fleeing UPEI. Next — year’s Cadre needs new staff—treporters, sports/new/A&E/copy editors, production/distribution/advertising folks, you name it. Impress your parents, friends and future employers! Apply for the swanky newspaper position of your choice today, and you

could be telling people where to get off—in print! See page 19 for more details, or stop by The Cadre for more information.

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involved in smoking, drinking, doing drugs, having sex, getting STDs, get- ting pregnant, and not eating right. We’re not stupid.

If you smoke, you get cancer. Duh!

One slant on the session that I wanted to see was the cost of having these habits. I know that a pack and a half a day cost $75 a week, but how much does it cost to eat healthily? I mean, how many food groups are there now? Four? There should be a student food guide, which has chips and snack food, Mr. Noodles and cheap pasta, drinkables (booze), and

| Bisa, whirae capping goa

smokables (smokes). Being unhealthy is inherent with going to school, and that’s the sad truth.

So in the end my life wasn’t altered, and I left the fair with a stock- pile of condoms. I already knew that I was unhealthy, and that I’m at risk for heart disease, and that my lungs look gross. I know not to do drugs, but now I know how to clean needles. I didn’t know if I was at university or if I had stumbled into an elementary school science fair. Just a bunch of cute nurs- es doing projects, and a few visiting guests. One of the few things I learned there was from a booklet on sex, and it offered this advice: “Try putting lube inside your condom, it feels soooo good!” All right, I’ll have to try that.

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