Penises are so gross. Why anyone would have one is beyond me. They shrivel and grow, go from soft and pliable to stiff and hard, and they look funny. It’s a limb without defini- tion of form or ductibility. When a guy bulges in public, it’s not cool. Ejaculation? Let’s not even go there — yuckers. Men’s genitals are so basic and boring; there’s nothing to them,; there’s no mystery, no intrigue. It goes up, it goes down. End of story.

Vaginas are beautiful.

There’s a lot of danger involved with penises too, with the potential for pulling, breaking, or worse, cutting it off. There’s also this thing called “a bag rush.” Whatever. It’s not like that for women. We’ve got it made. Our vaginas aren’t going anywhere. We are not at risk for injury on account of stupidity. As we all know, injury and stupidity go hand in hand when it comes to guys. Not that genital mutilation has never occurred to women — on the contrary. Women have had their clits cut off at child birth and big chunks of the lip ripped right off during rape or torture, but this is hardly our fault. No: men are usually the cause of their own grief.

Vaginas are beautiful. They.

are deep and scarlet and amazing. They breathe and spread and expand. They bear children. The vagina is two puckered lips that open into more lay- ers of hidden wonder and treasure. Enough said. We know what I mean. It’s beautiful. Periods are not gross. They are by all means painful, what with the cramps, the bloating, the bleeding, and the hysteria. Who could blame a woman for being a little crabby in such an excruciating state? A male “friend” of mine commented that he thought periods were so disgusting. I was appalled by the comment, to say the least. Women cannot control hav- ing periods, it’s a part of nature! It’s a beautiful thing, if you ignore the ran-

cid smell and hideous substance part. The period itself is beautiful, to expe- rience it is beautiful, and men have no right to demean women for it. A woman’s period is a part of her, and to demean it is to demean her and all of her bleeding sisters. We will not toler- ate oppression anymore!!!

But I digress.

Men are so_ inconsiderate when it comes to women’s needs. When we say we want something, just give it to us. It’s that simple. No, of course we aren’t going to tell you out-

. right! We’re more clever than that —

more sly, more fun. We leave you the simplest, most obvious clues, you fig- ure it out and get a knowing, goofy smile, and voila! We have what we want, whatever that may be, and you feel like the genius you ain’t for hav- ing figured out the mystery.

- Men should be locked up in dun- geons way beneath the earth’s surface, only to be brought up for farming, slave labour, and breeding purposes.

Men are such cry babies, especially when we hit you. You are stronger than us, suck it up and take it like a man.

Women are delicate and emo- tional beings. We are strong hearted and strong willed. We can think in the most complex ways and maintain vast amounts of information in our minds while processing an idea. Men have

‘two things in their heads: sex and

food. Sex being anything to do with or resembling genitalia, be it women’s, men’s, animal’s, art, etc. Women take the mind to greater heights, and if there was ever a man with a brilliant mind, thank his moth- er — he probably grew up as a mama’s boy and developed a woman’s mind. Good for him. The smartest man in

‘the world is the man who employs a

The join me, sisters!

woman’s mind. All women are smart.

Men should be locked up in dungeons way beneath the earth’s sur- face, only to be brought up for farm- ing, slave labour, and breeding pur- poses. Women can supply everything else for themselves and each other. Affection, partnership, love, concern, care, listening, talking, medical care, and entertainment. Women could build an intricate and united society. There would be no more cosmetics, no more dieting, no more needless

exercise to work off the chocolate we so readily enjoy.

No more! No more torture for the sake of pleasing useless men! We pretty ourselves up for ape-beings who only look at us with one purpose, and that’s to satisfy their pathetic pri- mal urges. Women are a more devel-

_ oped and sophisticated race.

Let us join together, my sis- ters, and dispel from our everyday view the sight of unsightly men. It is time.

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