The Kelley OutIOOk:
Hello, and we’re back for our final article of the year. No tears now. We know we have inspired you lesser beings with much knowledge this past year.
That is, if you Artsies have
learned how to read yetl! Now, onto a more serious note. The talented 1984 edition of the UPEI Business Society is issuing a challenge to all organizations within the campus community (cg. Engineers, Biology club, Administration, Student Union, Faculty Association, and all residences) to meet and beat our $100 donation to the Senior class. ’
We are hoping the above groups will feel it appropriate to follow in our footsteps.
The cheques will be presented to the Senior class executive at the Business Society’s last pub on Thursday, April 12.
The last and best pub of the year is the Business Society’s first
annual Spud—Buzz. Entertain— ment will be provided, and special contests will be held
throughout the night.
For anyone who hasn’t seen an Engineer since their last fatal column in October, the curling challenge has been presented to them.
The Business Society champs, who passed up the opportunity to curl at the Silver Broom championships in Duluth, Minnesota to humiliate and
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m-bare-ass the lowly engineers, will be curling for the Brown Bottle Broom this Friday at the Charlottetown Curling Club at
3 pm. Come out and watch the Business Champs put the
engineers where they belong — under a rock. A curling rock, that is!
We hope that the Duffy zoo- keeper, Don Gillis, will let his animals off the leash this Friday.
And Mickey, you’re invited tOO!
As we look back over the year, we are sad to report that even some of our own troopers should be in other faculties.
Yes, believe it or not, some of you troopers have slipped through the normally fail-safe
system. _ These noted individuals include: 1) Dennis “iwant to be a veteran” O’Hailey. Rumour
hath it that Dennis has more stripes than credits.
2) Anne “i’ll never be an accountant” Coady. Anne is attempting to rewrite the C.I.C.A. handbook so that balance sheets don’t and cash flow don’t. She couldn’t get a reference from her Policy group to do the books for her paper boy. P.S. She makes a mean cup Of coffee!
3) Lori “Anything Irwin does I do 2% less” Bell. Fragments
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from the govern-General’s medal don’t get your name in the pro- gram. Sorry! !
4) Kenny “I wish I was an Engineer” Mutter. Kenny has been having a common-law relationship with an engineer since September.
5) Lester “The Phantom Student” McKay. There have been rumours floating around Kelley Building that a phantom student has appeared in the last week. When questioned, Lester the Phantom Student said, “Well, I was sick for awhile, but I’m back to normal now. See ya!
6) Pam “I need a new pair Of shoes” Ceretti. Pam' has been seen browsing around LePage’s Shoe store, but we don’t think it’s for shores.
7) Andy “What do you mean I graduated?” Cameron. Andy will be back next year looking for a BA. in Soccer. This should be no problem, since he can get any degree in the Arts faculty.
And now, for two professors who have slipped though our finers, Joe.
This article is dedicated to Tim “Life is a pain in the ass” Carroll, who proved that any- one can get a MBA.
And now for the man who occupies the corner office of Kelley, Ron “A doctor without a practice” Collins, affection— ately known as Old Doc Collins.
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We suggest he hand his shingle elsewhere.
And now for our most pre- stigious award: WOMBAT OF THE YEAR!
This year, it’s been presented to Windsor, “My socks match my sweater” Wight.
Windsor proved that even a prep who abides by Gentleman’s Quarterly can be a no—class bum. No more ashtrays in the punch, Wiener. ‘
(By the way, a wombat is a hybrid ‘— half woman, half dingbat.)
Once again this past week, Business has remained in the
upper atmosphere of the campus (where else!) We J.J.’s Troopers sincerely congratulate one of our own, Donna McKenzie, who was chosen Senior Class Valedictorian.
Good luck, we know you’ll do a great job and represent the Senior class well.
As this is our last article, We
would like to thank the following people for their support and encouragement throughout our four years at UPEI.
These individuals include professors Jeff Power, Tim Carroll, George mason, Bob O’Rourke, AI Ferris, Debbie Good, Gordon Bond, Ron
Collins and man lecturers. Special thanks must go to Freda Cox, Molly Cooke, and Emmett ,Duggan, who put up with us throughout the years.
Last and certainly not least, a very special thanks to our Director, Professor Joe Revell, who has always been there for the students.
On behalf of all graduating business students, we thank you all. There is no doubt we will return to visit in the-future.
Good luck to all senior class graduates, and remember ~— “Buy low and sell high!”
sessional
No jobs last year — and now more of the same
OTTAWA (CUP) — The federal government has good news for job-Seeking students — employment programs this summer will be at least as effective as last summer. That means students can look forward to more than 20 per cent unemployment.
Bob Borgess, the optimistic information officer for the Employment and Immigra- tion Ministry, says federal government funding will likely provide jobs for more than one per cent of all youths — not just students — who would otherwise be unemployed this summer.
“The programs are effec- tive every year, and we can only believe it will be the
same this year,” ,Burgess said in a Feb. 21 interview. He said government pro- grams, including job boards at Canada Employment Centres, will place a half million young people in jobs “one way or another”. ,. Although the last two summers have seen unem- ployment figures above 20 per cent for young people,
he said it is impossible to tell 7
what level unemployment will reach this time around.
“I couldn’t hazard a guess,” he said. “But I think it might be a pretty good summer.” -
“We enter the sUmmer
every year with the highest
ofhopes.” . .
But not everyone shares Burgess’ _ enthusiam. A Canadian Federation of Students researcher says the combination of a five per cent enrolment increase at Canadian universities last year, a high unemployment rate for all Canadians and a generally poor economy will lead to heavy competition for jobs.
Employment and Immigra- tion Minister John Roberts
e has hinted he may announce
new funds for summer job programs, but so far the federal government has pledged only $1.1 billion — about the same level as last year.
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