Your Monthly Horoscope

| By Count Roderick Cornelius MacMillanheimerstein Il and The Scurvy Sid Singers

Aries: (March 21—April 19)

Remember this month that you can't squeeze blood from a stone. You can, how- ever, squeeze blood from the mice living in the campus dorms.

Taurus: (April 20—May 20) | Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. But if you don't have time for that, spend a couple of minutes smelling his Mom's underpants.t

Gemini: (May 21—June 21)

There is no need to worry about school pressures aging you before your time. Leprosy will take care of that long before school will.

Cancer: (June 22—July 22)

The stars say this week that you'll swallow a fly. I don't know why you'll swal- low a fly. I guess you'll die.

Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)

Your palms will become considerably hairier this month and you know full well why.

Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22) They say that money is the root of all evil. Luckily, considering how much stu- dent loan debt you've placed yourself into, you're destined for sainthood.

Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)

This week your dreams will finally come true. Specifically, the dream about the giant flaming eyeball penetrating your anus while singing old show tunes.

Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)

It's time to make your move towards that special someone. After all, your Grandfather's boar is getting older each day (and more succulent).

Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21) Try something new, like bridge jumping. Specifically bridge jumping. Actually,

those loan sharks you've been avoiding are going to push you off a bridge. Sorry.

Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)

You're lucky number this week is 8, which is also the number of times you'll bite

your cheek after you've eaten your twelfth hotdog that day.

Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)

Work towards fostering a sense of community spirit. Gather several hundred of

your closest friends, smash some windows and loot some community businesses.

Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)

It will sting when someone close to you says that your popularity won't make you loved. However, don't listen to him, you're not actually popular.

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The UPEI Tip-To-Tip Challenge By Dr. Shannon Murry

On October 18 and 19, faculty, staff, students, alumni and friends will cover the Island from tip-to-tip to raise money for the Faculty Association Scholarship fund. The event is a fund- raising relay meant to show support for student funding at the same time as it shows the University's dedication to wellness and to representing the whole province. What other Canadian University would cover its province for its students?

Most of the route is on the beautiful Confederation Trail. Participants will start at North Cape and East Point simultaneously — at noon on the Eighteenth — and runners, walkers and cyclists will work their way towards the University, passing on a PEI tartan sash to the next group of runners, walkers or cyclists. A "Command Central" at the Charlottetown Mall will track the progress of both groups. The

OCTOBER 18-19, 2002

event will end at 6 on the Nineteenth with a barbeque (hosted by the Biology Club) and celebration as two halves of the relay works its way to towards Charlottetown.

Everyone is invited to participate, and there are long, medium, and short dis- tances mapped out. Take a look at the chart on the Bulletin Board beside the Main Building Faculty Lounge. Participants pay a $25 registration fee and are asked to raise another $25 in sponsorships.

The event is looking for even more participants, so get some friends together or go one your own, cover a part of the Island and raise money for a good cause -- UPEI's students. Anyone interested should reach Shannon Murray (566-0404 or smur- ray@upei.ca) and she'll arrange a route with you.

Sign up your legs for the Tip-to-tip Relay Challenge: Biking, Walking, and Running for UPEI. Write to Shannon Murray (smurray@upei.ca) or call 566-0404 for more information.

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