OPINION:

Panther Prints

by Lorne Caborn

(The opinions expressed in this article Ho not necessarily reflect the opinions or brientations of any of the Panther Prints staff members -- The Editor)

I would like to welcome Panther Prints readers to my new opinion article Where, as the title says, I ‘‘Tell it like it is. Two topics I’m going to avoid are the non- moking pit and parking fees, we’ ve all eard enough about these. The first topic is ways the hardest, so this week I have hosen the topic of sex.

Okay, let the male bashing begin, but he last time I checked, females enjoyed sex oo. This brings me to the introduction of this week’s topic, Waiting To Have Sex. Hold up, don’t start reading the music reviews just yet, you haven’t heard this side pf the argument, at least not from someone who wasn’t trying to get you in bed. I’m an hdvocate for not waiting. Non-believers, hit me with your best shot.

"Sex is a beautiful experience that should be shared between two people who ove each other.’” HELLO! Wake up people, when was the last time you heard Bomeone describe their first time as beauti- ui? Does painful, awkward, lousy or quick ound a little more realistic? This isn’t omething you want to wait for people, it’s omething to be done and forgotten about so ou can get on to the good stuff. Who cares f you love the person, sex is a physical xperince that has nothing to do with love.

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TELL IT LIKE IT IS

It just complicates things and interfears with the enjoyment of the act.

"T don’t want te catch an STD.”’ So don’t. You don’t catch an STD from sleep- ing with everyone, you catch them from sleeping with the wrong person -- if you choose not to protect yourself. In this day and age we should use technology to our advantage. Protection from these diseases was invented to aid us when having sex, not prevent us from doing so.

"Only sluts and dawgs don’t wait.’’ A person has the right to desire to sleep with whoever, wherever, and whenever they want. Since matters such as these usually become public knowledge fast, it has to be discussed. The only argument I can make is| this -- who wrote the book that we label people by? Is someone who s!ept with two people but started when they were 14 worse than the person who waited until their 25th birthday before sleeping with 9 people? Or is someone worse for having sex once each with three people, or someone who has slept with one person 100 times? If such a book exists maybe my opinion will change, but until then I’ll ignore any labels out there.

That’s it for me this week, if I’ve opened one person’s mind to new possibili- ties then I’ve accomplished what I set forth to de. Not waiting aud enjoying sex while you can isn’t being stupid, not protecting yourself is. I welcome any respouse to this article, hostile or otherwise, emaii me at Icabon@upei.ca and join me next week when I discuss homosexual marriages.

What Really Matters —

by Faith Hunter

Hello UPEI. Your worst nightmare has come true: I’m back with yet another column of news and nonsense. Lat time I promised you a re-run about UPEI stress and what to do about it. True to my word, here it is:

8 Reasons Why UPEI Stresses You Out

1. You didn’t do your paper (for today or last week or. . .)

2. You forgot to save your 3000 word essay before you turned off the computer.

3. Your professor hates you (and you don’t even know why, since you’re never in class to ask him or her). :

4. You’re malnourished (You can’t afford education and lunch!).

5. You degree is costing you so much money that, by the time you get it, you won’t be able to afford a frame.

6. You can’t hear your professor’s lectures over the snoring of your classmates.

7. Your final exam is worth more than your car (and your life too, if you fail it!).

8. Tests are so stressful for you that they

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should carry a mental health warning.

8 Things You Can Do To Reduce Stress :

1. Try reading with your textbooks with your eyes open.

2. Spend as much time studying Biology as you spend studying your girlfriend or boy- friend.

3. Watch the professor occasionally (even though the person sitting next to you is much better looking).

4. Think positively (positive that you'll fail, positive that. . .)

5. Don’t procrastinate. Start papers the day before they are due, instead of the day after.

6. Say as little in class as possible (if you talk, the professor may realize that you don’t know what day it is).

7. When asking for an extension due the untimely death of cousin Fred, remember that this excuse only works once.

8. Relax -- there is more to life than

school (Right?!).

Take Care and Dream Big

Dear Sally:

I need help! I am a first year student living in the residences. My roommate is uncontrollable. She trashes our room regularly with garbage and her stuff, and she rarely cleans up. I am by no means a neat freak but I like to be able to see the floor occasionally. She also has no respect for my feelings. She leaves the door unlocked when no one is home, and she broke my desk the other day, and she only said, ‘Oops, sorry’’ with no offer to repair it. I’m at my wits end, but I want to save my friendship with her. Any advice?

-- feeling like a carpet (all stepped on!)

Dear Stepped On:

Yes, it sounds as if your Tasmanian devil-like roommate is definitely out of control, so it’s time for you to take control of things. First decide which is more important: her friendship or how her bad habits are affecting your sanity. If she is a good friend then she won’t mind if you speak to her about how trampled upon you are feeling, she will care and try to improve her ways.

However, if she has ‘‘no respect for your feelings’’ then she may not care. But still, you must speak to her. It’s your room too. Don’t be a victim. If she doesn’t improve, then shovel her mess back onto her side of the room and tape a line down the centre of the floor. She can keep her side messy and you can keep your’s neater.

The part about leaving the door unlocked is a more acute problem. She may not realize that the door does not lock automatically when it’s closed, so tape a note to the door to remind her to use her key. Make sure you always lock it when you leave, she may get tired of finding someone to let her in after awhile. As for breaking your desk, maybe you could suggest switching desks with her, she may be more careful with your things in the future.

Try everything you can first, but if

The PANTHER

ADVICE:

the problem continues and you can’t handle it, then go to the residence office and beg, on your knees if you have to, for a new roommate. Sometimes when friends live together they end up not being friends anymore.

Dear Sally:

I am engaged to be married in the spring. I deeply love my fiance and think we have a great relationship. However, in the last few months our sex life has fizzled. I know it is my fault -- while I am attracted to him, I very rarely want to make love and I don’t really know why. I don’t want this to ruin us. What should I do?

-- Embarrassed

Dear Embarrassed:

First of all, stop thinking that not wanting to have sex is your fault. Maybe it’s his fault. Is sex with this guy boring? Is it the same old, same old? Are you comfort- able asking for what you want? And does he comply? Sex is not a duty that you must endure, it’s great fun as well as an expres- sion of love.

Which brings me to the second point -- love. Perhaps the problem is deeper than the fact that you just don’t want to have sex anymore. A little counselling, with some- one you trust, before you go ahead with marriage could help pinpoint where the real problem lies. The way you feel about sex is often an indication of something else going on in the relationship. Maybe you’re just not ready for marriage. Don’t let anyone pressure you into it before you’re good and ready. If he really loves you, he’ll wait.

Just because you’re attracted to him and are in love, that doesn’t mean that you ‘want’ to marry him just yet. Perhaps there are other things you want to do with your life first. Check it out first, because forever is a long time.

PRINTS wants you!

October 17, 1995

s rerio