NovemBer 19, 2004

PEE StupewT NEWSPAPER

THE CADRE © 2

... And Now For Something Completely Different: The Rants of a University Student

Ryan Gallant Managing Editor

Well the shorts certainly came off Boomer in a hurry this week. Yes, the hellish winds of mid-fall have arrived and soon enough it will be minus 43 billion here on campus and our walk from class to class will once again become a death race between buildings. And Halifax was ripped apart by wind and 45 centimetres of snow on Sunday. Oh joy oh joy, oh bliss oh bliss.

But not all news is depressing

here on P.E.I. Ohno, some of itis just

downright stupid. Last week good old Binns decided to sue the federal government. Wonderful. Yeah Iknow, I was excited too, because we certainly have ample resources to waste on a lengthy legal battle with the federal government. Hey Binns! Were you not part of Mulroney’s federal government when they changed the law so that seiners could come that close anyway? Either way, regardless if you’ re on the side of big business and the seiners or if you’re on the wharf getting your head bashed in by the Souris SWAT brigade, my guess is the herring will all be gone by the time old Binnsy and the feds get their acts in gear anyway.

All points bulletin: a man

robbed Swiss Chalet/Harvey’s last week with a knife. City Police have warned citizens to be on the look-out for the suspect. So head’s up everyone, we are looking for a man who was wearing “baggy pants with paint on them”. They could have been, and we don’t want to make any assumptions here, sweat pants. So you or anyone you know has pants that fit this description, contact Crime Stoppers immediately. Honestly, we know we

don’t have the brightest cops on the block, but do they have to prove it every damn week? Paint covered sweat pants? Frig. A good 75% of my Dad’s clothing is covered in paint or dirt or grime of some kind. I mean I’Il ask him, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t hold up arestaurant last week.

On: a list Popular Science released last week, it was stated that testing polluted water in Newfoundland’s St. John’s harbour is a bad job. No really? I love how scientists do these studies to tell us things like this. Newsflash! Drinking paint thinner can reduce brain cells. Attention! Shooting yourself in the head. greatly reduces your life expectancy rate. They also rated the position of “Tragi archaeologist” as one of the worst jobs in science. Idiots.

According to conflicting reports last week Yasser Arafat passed away,

then lapsed in to a coma, made a full recovery and then died again. Officials ©

do not now expect his condition to worsen. George W. Bush, in his typical statesman form, extended condolences to the Palestinian nation by telling the world that we are better off without him. Wow Dubya, I didn’t know you could be so sensitive. Sure, Arafat may have made some questionable moves and had some nasty habits, but itused to be you'd wait until the man was in the friggin ground before you start pissing on his grave.

Magic 93 has certainly classed up their prize give-aways. Where ordinary stations over across only give out like concert tickets or trips or something, now during Paul and Anne’s birthday trivia in the morning they give away, wait forit........silk scarves. Yes, I am not joking. Silk scarves. Is this supposed to make me want to stay

tuned to listen to Clay Aiken all day? I

mean unless I was Liberace (or I guess Clay Aiken), I see no way in which I could get even remotely excited about a silk scarf. mean seriously, Paul must getup every morning and think, “Hey, how can I make myself that much more ofa dumb ass today?”

Who the hell decided it was a good idea to forma trailer park beside Duffy? Seriously, can we not come up with a better system during renovations than moving the Biology Department into a mobile home? Now Schurman’s have decided to throw a bunch of trailers back there with ‘Private Property’ signs on the side. Private Property? Whose? Last time I checked Irving doesn’t own our campus. You know what, Mr. Irving Big Corporation Guy? Youcan’tjust drop stuffon my campus and call it ‘Private Property’. And if you have a problem with that, you can move your G.D. trailer to wherever the hell you brought it from. If T want to walk up to your trailer, knock on the door, walk in and grab a cup of coffee, I will damnwell do so. And that folks, is my prerogative.

Have a good one!