-PLF

By Jim W. Lai

On the night of September 4, the Plant Liberation Front (PLF) held a meeting in room 209 in Duffy Building. A healthy crowd had gathered inside and were waiting for the speaker, Mr. Zyx, to arrive.

He arrived more than ten minutes late and was greeted with a round of applause. Mr. Zyx, wearing a black leather three- Piece suit and a red leather tie, walked calmly to the front of the room.

“Thank you, ladies and gentle- men,” he began. ‘Please stand up and remain standing. Please don’t sit on those wooden chairs. Would you sit on the remains of dead

animals? No. Would you sit on:

the remains of the murdered plants? No.”*

“For those who have brought Paper to take notes; please do not use your paper. Would you write on the chemically processed bodies of animals? I beg you to leave the revered paper alone and instead write on leather or on your own hands please. Paper is

made from the remains of some of our dearly departed plants.”

The crowd did as Mr. Zyx asked. He smiled pleasantly and continued with his speech. The following is an excerpt:

“For billions of years, plants have supported all animal life on this planet. They are responsible for forming and maintaing the oxygen-rich atmosphere that we take for granted. And for billions of years, all the thanks they’ve gotten is to be maimed and killed by unthinking animals. This is no longer tolerable!

“Just because we can’t hear their ultrasonic screams and can’t see their green tears, we think that nothing is wrong. Just because they can’t move freely, we think plants are inferior to animals. Nothing can be further from the truth!

“I believe that when you mow your lawn, you do it without even a blink of an eye. Do you know mowing your lawn is no better than a mass slaughter of seals? How many hundred of thousands of helpless green bodies have been

BACKSTAGE

by Holly Good

Welcome once again to ‘‘Back- stage’, your weekly look inside the Canadian Music Scene. We try to fill you in on the performers coming to campus, Maritime Music Notes and Canadian Chatter. Those of you who caught last week’s column will recall the write-up on the fantastic line of talent during our first week back.

Plan on seeing more of ‘Bowser & Blue”’, “The Parts Dept.”” and “Steps Around the House’’ pos- sibly later on this year. All of our musical friends agreed, UPEI Student Union knows how to party!

The next band up on our enter- tainment roster this year is the winner of the 1986 “*CASBY”’ for “MOST PROMISING GROUP” “Chalk Circle” was formed three years ago by Newcastle nat’ es Chris Tait, Brad Hopkins and Derrick Murphy. The trio became a foursome with the arrival of Tad Winklarz in the fall of 1984 (Tad having left his native Poland just prior to the imposition of martial law). The band derived their name from a BERTOLT BRECHT play (The Caucasian

Chalk Circle). ‘‘Chalk Circle” finds a special significance in the play’s theme, “that what there is shall belong to those who are good for it’”.

The quartet plays fresh progres- sive pop. Compelling, upbeat vocals, contrast with a melodic but dark sound. Performance- wise, ‘Chalk Circle’s’’ growing audience has translated into open- ing slots for Corey Hart, among others. Their debut mini-album, “The Great Lake’’, has pro- duced 2 singles; ‘April Fool” and “Me, Myself, 1°’. Both are re- ceiving wide airplay across the country on radio and viedo shows. Their second ‘‘CASBY’’, in as many years, has established “CHALK CIRCLE” as one of. the hottest new bands in Canada. Don’t miss them Thursday, Sept. 18th at the Student Union Centre. Tickets go on sale Friday, Sept. 12th at the SU Office.

Well, that’s about it for now. Tune in next week to catch the latest. news on your favourite Maritime music makers. Catch you on the flip side!

Meet

maimed by you in under an hour?

“I must advise you not to drink fruit juice. That’s worse than drinking animal blood! Don’t wear cotton clothes. Wearing the fibers from mutilated plant bodies is disgusting!

“All plant-eaters, from insects to people, must mend their ways. The war for plant liberation has begun. Millions of plant-loving people must use all their power to stop the senseless slaughter of the peace-loving plant.

“The so-called Greenpeace is one of our worst enemines! Usi the color of the peaceful plant as a front to promote the welfare of animals at the expense of plants is a crime against lifekind!

“Vegetarians are the worst of- fenders among us! We must eat only meat from now on! No fruits or vegetables will be mangled and swallowed alive anymore!

“It will be a long protracted war. It may take billions of years to stop the parasitic behavior of animals toward plants. We must organize our people to stop the harvesting of grain, the mowing

at

of lawns, and the picking of fruit! If necessary, we must destroy the machinery used in committing these atrocities! We must elimi- nate all lawn mowers, harvesters, and combines! If the removal of the human hand is necessary, we shall do it!

“The war. for plant liberation will end only when we have ac- hieved the peaceful coexistence of the plant and animal kingdoms!””

The crowd, who had been standing immediate applause. The ovation lasted more than three minutes. After his talk, Mr Zyx asked the audience if anyone had any

Il this time, burst into

questions.

A cheeful woman asked, ‘‘Is a meat-only diet balanced? Won't we diet of constipation?”

“‘We are talking about moral integrity," Mr Zyx replied. “‘We cannot abandon our morals for such petty concerns! Just eat eggs and drink milk!’ Some in the crowd cheered. A full minute of applause passed before another dared to ask a question.

“What about farmers?’’ a man

UPEI

who looked like a farmer asked. “What are they going to do’

“They can simply retire with a clear conscience’ or,” Mr. Zyx said, ‘grow lots of meat-eating cows and chickens! Fish don’t each plants, so why should we?” The crowd cheered and lauded Mr. Zy

Then, @ puzzied-looking busi- ness student asked, “Won't this

for yet another minute.

nportant im

potato industry Mr. Zyx replied, ‘*The moral costs far outwei;

any economic costs! Besides, farmers can learn to grown bacon or ham or some- thing else. Isn’t that what the new Vet College is for?”’

The crowd applauded for an- other while. When the applause had died down, six: pretty girls, clad in green leather, went around the room and asked for donations to be made in coins only, as dollar bills and paper checks are morally unacceptable. The meeting then ended in a charged, enthusiastic atmosphere.

Tab ets

RMS a A PUT aa iit

emotionally as well as financially,

to begin planning a family.

Until that time comes, it’s important that

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One day you'll be ready,

modern technology makes the chances of condom failure next to non-existent. Apart from any- thing else, medical and family planning

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authorities recommend condoms (whatever precautions your

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commonsense ndom.

C0)

It gives you one thing less to worry about.

THE COMMONSENSE CONDOM. BECAUSE SEX SHOULDN'T BE A WORRY.

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