,1'll bet he'll be back with a

' penetrating heat as

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+oo+w+og+# v ‘ "GAY IT WITH 8O ISSORB"

_0h, Mr. Gallagher! Oh, Mr. Gallagher! _

I bear you are a fighter brave and bold;

Sack Dempsey would fail dead, If you'd touch him on the head, you surely are a wonder l am

told. . Oh! Mr._ Sheani 0h! Mr. Sheen! I can trim the biggest man that's over been; I just grab them by the hair, And l land them in their. chair,

~ _You_'ro a boxer Mnjiallagheriﬂ

No a Barber Mr. Sheani ' -By_ Jimmie. /

WANT ON, WANT EVER

"No Herbert, l am sorry; but l am sure we could not be happy to- gether. You know ‘l always" want- my own ‘way in. everything."

"But, mydsar girl, you could go on wanting it after we were mar- ried." ~

saris PROCEDURE‘ - New Owners: Say! You sold that departing customer those bad eggs! big

hick. ‘ Old Clerk: No, sir. I don't think

Ilia will.

. N. 0.: Why won't he? They're

ad. . ‘ N. 0.: Yes, but no as bad its his credit; sir.

GOOD REASON

"A new suburbanite was asked _why he ldid not make a garden.

"l prefer," he replied, "to depend on the grocer for my- vegetables. When l ask him for ~ beans, he doesn't give me jimson-wesd in- stead!’ v

‘HE FELL FOR THREE STORIES "Now it's jist like I was a-tellin’ ye," said a. grizzled old Irishman to a group of workmen. “Oncet when my gang was helpin' put up a skyscraper, I fell fer three stories an’ it didn't-hurt me nary a bit." Here the‘ stranger who had paus- ed to listen remonstrated. “But how could‘ a~ person fail for three stories and not be hurt?" he sternly inquired.

"Well," replied the veteran, a Itwinkle creeping into his eye, "you've already fallen. fer one, an’ I guess iallin’ fer two more won't hurt ye."

Says Red Pepper Heat Stops Pains in a. Few Minutes

Rheumatism, lumhago, neuritis, backache, stiff neckjsore muscles, Itrai-ns sprains aching joints. Nifhen you are suffering so you ‘can hardly got around. just try Red PﬂPDer Rub.

Nothing has such concentrated, red peppers, and when" heat penetrates right down into pain and congestion rs- lrief comes at once.

Just as soon as you apply Red Pepper Rub you feel the tingling heat. In three minutes gths sore

is warmed through nnu hhrough and the torture is gone.

Rowles Red Pepper Rub, made iiirom red peppers, costs littli- at any drugstore. Get a. jar at once. Be sure to get the genuine, with

the name Rowles on every pad?‘

38S.

SURE SIGN Pretty Cashier: You might give me a week off to regain my health- My beauty is beginnillz to fade. Manager: Why do you think so‘! Pretty Cashier: The men are be- ginning to count their change.

PATERNAL STYLE.

"mow, my little man," said the barber to a youngster in the bar- ber's chair, "how do "you want your hair cut?"

"With a hols in thirtop, like dad's." was the reply.

UNIMPORTANT EPISODE

- "How manytimes. has Algernon proposed to you!" f v

“l haven't kept count," replied Miss Cayenne. "He is not a gifted convsrsationslist, and proposing is only his way of trying to say some thing pleasant."

OPENING UP Rastus: What's your doing now! . jail.

Rufus: He's in Rastu-s: How come? Rufus: For opening a store. I

ltastus: Since when. is it a crime to open a grocery store?

brother

$000K)’

way: My brother opened the store about 3 o'clock in the morning with a chisel. '-

"YESI WE HAVE NO GRAPEFRUIT

The new clerk was trained to be- lieve that if you did not have the article demanded by the customer, you should try to sell her someth- ing else.

A woman came in and asked for grapefruit.

“No, ms‘am. we have no grape- fruit, but we have grape nuts, grape jelly, and grape julce,"'was his illuminating reply.

TRADE IMPROVING

A timber merchant was sitting in his office one day, musing sadly over the general depression trade, when a quiet-looking young man entered.

“Do you sell beechwood?" asked the stranger. _

"Yes, sir,"‘ rejlied the, timber man, rising with alacrity and hop- ing fervently to book a large order; "we can supply it either in the log o: plank."

"Oh, I don't want scmuch as

that," sziid the young man, shift-

ing his feet uneasily: "l just want a bit for a violin bridge."

INSULTED.

.A Dublin ca: driver Qvas stopped for careless driving by a zealous constable. He rufused to give his name.

“You'll get yourself into trouble if you don't give your name."

Still the driver refused.

"Now then, what is it?" persist- ed the constable.

“Better find out," retorted the driver.

"Sure and I will." said the con- stable, going around to the side of the car where the namo should have been, only to find it rubbed o

ff.

“A-ha," said the constable, “now yoii‘ll get yourself into worse dis- grace, for your name is obliterat- ed "

'.'You're wrong," roared the driv- er, ‘tis O'Brien."

THE l-IELPING HAND "We can't la: him follow the mark. Let's push to-

‘Jsmi Bull: gather."

(Thovsupport which iiio Bank o! England lo affording to the

French Government to effect and has stopped its tail.)

stabilise the 1mm has had a moat bonoilciai

4From the News ct the World.

g- ;f§THEgf}K1R

‘sass; ‘x;

Rufus. Well, you see it was this I

l ° tlon for the meeting. There was

MILK-FED 2 '

Ha was one of those fresh young fellows given to the‘ use of slangi At the breakfast-table, desiring the milk, he exclaimed; “Chase the cow this way, please."

“Here, Jane," gaid the landlady- “take the cow down to where the calf is bowling."

T00 DEFINITE

A grocer called to collect his bill frequently, but without success. Finally he said in. desperation:

“Mr. Jones, l muht insist that youl inake~~ some definite arrangements with me."

“Why, certainly," replied Mr. Jones, agreeably. "let's see-well, suppose you call every Thursday morning!" _ '

FIXING THE BLAME

Gentle hands were lifting Pat frolic jibe wreckage of his automo- bile. Jlhichhad 1119i. been struck at a grade crossing by a fast passeng- er train. _'

"How did it happen?" asked a friend, wbowas with the rescue DBNY- ' .

"Bergorra," fumed Pat, “'tis more than loan understand. Ye'd have thought that the engineer of the train could have seen me coinin’ in board daylight!"

IM. Poincare:

M. ncare:

LOTTWOWN. GUARDIAN" evade‘ ’>€*"f"~‘~’PRl1r.s.vlll?-4'v,

Mr. V-Lloyd George: ‘Mr. Lloyd George:"'0augbt anything?" iMr. iLloyd George: "Come inside."

Norm-No name l_ 1‘ "How long have you been dishing here!" "Some Months." ‘ ’

"Well, no." . . ' '

From the

HOW TO GET DOWN

»

They were discussing ways and m"!!! 0! Betting down off an elephant.

"We". how do you get down?" asked Bob.

xYou climb down. of course."

uNo.’ replied his friend Tom.

Well. you sreass his sides and slide down." Blllzested the other.

IZWNBE again,” insisted Tom

Then you take a ladder if one l9 handy BM get down," WEB the next suggestion.

"N04,. _

"W911. you slide down his trunk."

"N0. You donkey! You don't get down off an elephant. You get it off a duck."

Hi8 FIRST SPEECH

It ‘"5 "19 young candidate's "T" cllmllﬁlitn and his v-ery first Political speech. He was much en. Oollﬂlzed by the hearty welcome ex- “mded by the local committee and delllmed by the elaborate prepnm.

even a band to play on the 5mm before the speech.

At last the chairman came for- ward and addressed the crowd as follows:

"Fellow citizens, we have with us today a young man that is des. tined to take high place in the ranks of our beloved psi-m H‘, comes to tell us of the burning issues thse confront us, and 1115 fame as an orator has, of course,

/é/,

Dreceeded him. He will now» addresg you, and when he has finished. the band will call you m.

8h ‘ gether again." a“ of the

even ‘not a hammer."

"WOM EN TO WOMAN"

Militant: "Goodness gracious! Why aha hasn't —From the Daily Express. London

BRINGING UP FATHER

—-By GEO, MQDIANUS

‘osgsss w...

DARLINCﬁ

YOUR WIFE PbDOINCi 5O WELL. 1N HER biﬂqiug- I HAVE ARRANQEQ A

PUbl-JC CONCERT FOR HER-

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Now -DP\RL_iN<i ~YOU Q0 TO THE News- PAPER?) AND our A NQTICE IN

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