What's on continued

is to qualify for the trip. We will draw for the trip on March 3st. You must be present to qualify and to win. In other words, if you are not here, you will not qualify or win.

- Draw(s) will take place at | 1:30. No earlier, no later.

- Contest ballots may be filled out on nights other than Thursday, but customers must still be present on the night of the draws to be eligible to win.

- Names of the weekly qualifiers will be posted on the qualifying board.

- Staff are NOT eligible. SORRY!

- You cannot buy a beverage and fill out another person's name.

- On the tenth week, after the tenth qualifier has been chosen, those ten narnes will be put into the ballot box with the last name removed from the ballot box rewarded with the trip for two to FLORIDA.

TRIP DETAILS:

Halifax to Tampa: April 30 - May 8

Includes: Transportation to and from Tampa Airport to the Ramada in St. Petersburg with double occupancy at the Ramada.

Winter Carnival packages are now on sale and going fast (they may be gone by the time this is printed!) The total package is twenty- two dollars and is good for admission to Blue Rodeo on Feb. 2, The Waltons on Feb. 4 and Road Apples (Tragically Hip tribute band) on Feb. 5. Individual prices are fifteen dollars for Blue Rodeo, six dollars for The Waltons and five dollars for Road Apples. Clearly the package is the way to go, Bucko! We cannot STRESS enough how important it is to buy your tickets early, as they will most definitely, undoubtedly, 100% certainly sell out. This week also promises to be great as well. Wednesday, Jan. 26th is going to be another customer appreciation night. Weatherman Groove Tube willbe playing and there will be no admission charge and staff rules will be in effect till | | o'clock.

Thursday Jan. 27th will see the Atomic Improv. Co. invade the friendly confines of the Barn. These comedians base their entire act on suggestions from their audience. They have received rave reviews wherever they've played. They will be one of only few comedy acts here this semester, so be sure to check these guys out.

Friday's movies will feature Rising Sun with Sean Connery and Wesley Snipes, while the second feature will be Hot Shots Part Deux with Charlie Sheen. The movies begin at two, so get there early for a seat up front.

Sunday Jan. 29th will be our Super Bowl party. We will be separating the room in half again and you will have to choose your team as you come in through the door. When your team scores, bar specials go into effect. This is a blast. It was one of last year’s highlights!

This article might even have to be cut out and put on the fridge so you can plan around the events at the Barn. See ya down at the

Barn!

BY TRENT DRAKE

SOMETIMES, ONE OF MY LEGION OF fans will come up to me, look me in the eye, and say, “Boy, are you ever twisted.”

When this happens, | say, “Thanks!”

The second thing they do is ask me where the he** | manage to dig up the trash | find for the column, Wellsir, the answer is simple: | hang around the racks at any one of our local video stores to the point of annoying the clerks and read the backs of the boxes. It’s a long process, because there are only a bare handful of good movies and hundreds of incredibly lousy ones... and the ad copy on either reads the same (Exciting! Daring! Adventure! Thrills! Mothballs!).

That's when it comes in handy to have friends who watch this crap on their own and don't tell anyone about it. They’rea persecuted bunch. Make a note that renting a flick like Viking Massacre (and please don’t) can get you looks that even triple X tapes don’t rate.

The following movie was recommended to me by a couple of friends on two separate occasions, so when | saw it on the rack it was Gone In 60 Seconds!

It’s the story of a car thief with a heart of ten carat gold, nerves of steel, an iron fist and a name of pure cheese: Maidrian Pace. A master at swiping cars operating behind the clever front of an auto theft insurance investigator, Maidrian runs afoul of his boss when he decides to take a major contract from a bunch of South American drug lords. The contract requires forty cars and almost all of them are luxury vehicles like limos and Rollses and famous off-road buggies, and they've only got three or four days to get them all or the cartel will be very upset. Thus, the boss is forced to postpone his honeymoon and Maidrian earns a nasty new enemy.

This particular car theft ring has a very amusing way of identifying the cars they want to steal: they give them names. Nancy, for example, is a white Cadillac.

Now, you'd think that ona list that includes prototype streetrods (like the Manta...ever heard of it? Me neither), Baja buggies, ‘Vettes, Rolls Royces, limousines and a hearse, a

yellow-and-black 1973 Mustang (name: Eleanor) would be no problem at all. Guess again! The movie spends its first fifty-seven minutes desperately trying to be funny by showing the amusing foul-ups that prevent them from swiping such a beast. But the last forty minutes more than make up for the slow start. You see, the car theft ring, the problems with Eleanor, and the boss-VS-Maidrian subplot are there for only one purpose: to justify a forty minute long chase scene between Eleanor and several hundred cops. As the Good Ol’ Boys used to say, “Yeeeeeeeeeeeeee Hah!” If the back of the box is to be believed,

Make a note that renting a flick like Viking Massacre (and please don’t) can get you looks that even triple X tapes don’t rate.

ninety-three cars were destroyed while filming this sequence. And what wrecks they are! No Ford LTD police cars sinking into ponds while the hero speeds off and blithely leaps a canyon. Nope. Before the chase is over, Eleanor locks fenders with cop cars, lamp posts, guardrails and boats... and like the Energizer Bunny, just keeps going... and going... and going...

Meanwhile, the cops are smashing into every interesting object they can find. Not all of the casualties in this flick are surette, but most of the best bang-ups start with the cops hitting somebody. Some of my favourites will be listed below.

Okay, the acting. There isn’t much. In fact, most of the dialogue consists of voiced-over scenes unrelated to the conversation. The stuff that does match up is shot so you can’t see the actor’s mouths. Watch old Star Trek reruns to see a similar situation. And as for camerawork, forget it. It jumps and jitters and misses half the action. That is, until the final forty minutes...

Stuff to Watch For: Some of these scenes

[ x.press january twenty-fifth 1994 page 18 |

STUFF 1 FORGOT

may require a VCR with good slow motion to watch. Somehow, regular speed robs car crashes of impact (no pun in... never mind).

|: The first time Maidrian swipes an Eleanor, the owner chases him in another car, and the cops in turn chase him. A funny bit, if you can make out the dialogue.

2: A chase between a cop car anda tow truck. And yes, the truck is towing a car the whole time. Exciting and fun.

3: A police car single-handedly wipes out an entire row of new Cadillacs. Slow- motion would be a good idea, as this part goes by fast.

4: The high-impact death of a shopping cart.

5: A very interesting crash where a garbage truck tips over onto a Barracuda.

6: The old lady and her umbrella.

7: This long bit where Nancy (the white Caddy, remember?) is brought to the garage and turns out to be loaded with a million bucks worth of heroin. Then the local police chief shows up, and an amusing dance ensues while they try to get rid of a bag of smack accidently spilled on the floor. They eventually solve the problem by turning on the Caddy and letting the exhaust disperse it into the air. Then they burn the Cadillac the next day. Considering how they dispose of the stuff, it’s a wonder none of them end up stoned.

8: Several scenes showing detailed methods for stealing cars. Not to encourage car theft, but if you ever want to know how...(of course, these are 1970's vehicles and several methods shown wouldn't work on current cars.)

9: Six stoned black stereotypes, talking incomprehensible jive while driving a white Caddy very slowly.

And of course, forty-odd minutes worth of chase scene. Amazingly, the 1973 Mustang holds together for the whole chase. The only irreparable damage done happens near the end of the chase, and is shown in slow motion so that you get the picture.

Fans of Beatnik blues music might want to give a listen to the tune “Lois Lane Blues,” a real 1970's kind of tune.

Best Line: “And | ruined a perfectly good umbrella!”

The Bottom Line: If you love to watch car chases, but hate it when the hero’s car remains unscathed, you should check this pic out. The only major flaw (besides the acting, dubbing and stupid story) is that it was filmed in 1975, which means that bell-bottoms, leisure suits, sideburns and lousy make-up were in fashion and are on conspicuous display here. Fortunately, there is no disco, which makes the movie oh-so-much better. | highly recommend it to those who enjoy a good mindless chase full of speed, rubber and roaring engines...and as a Bible to those who consider such things a religion, because this is a cult hit.

Available at: Plaza Video.

Next Week: Another genuine classic of backyard cinema: John Carpenter's Dark Star. Be there for chilling aliens, cabin fever and sly

poetry.