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DlMWlLT IN UNDERLAND (#6) by J. Lai

Sly stared at the remains of the Answering Machine and shouted, “That felt good!" His mind still reeled on the verge of madness.

“I’m sure it did!" a voice agreed.

“Who are you?” Sly demanded, agitated at see- ing yet another human be- ing. He wondered if he was hallucinating.

“Farfax the Wizard! I hate all people!”

“I'm Sly Dimwilt. l sup- pose you must hate me.”

“Don't be ridiculous «you don’t count!"

“Oh. Thanks.”

“lam going to the Demon Pets of Trolios! Care to join me?"

“Never!” Sly cried in hor‘ ror.

Sly trampled the rem— nants of the Answering Machine as he ran forward, leaving the hollow Center of Underland behind. He noticed a narrow access ladder in a wall. Escape!

He gazed through the hole in the ceiling and beheld the ladder's length: it seemed to stretch off into

infinity. With a humorless .

and unnaturally loud laugh, Sly began climbing. He never looked back.

Hour after hour passed as he climbed. His arms and legs screamed with fatique; his mind screamed in deter- mination. He was going to find the Outside World if it was the last thing he did.

Finally, the ladder came

I ‘V5 GOT THE STUDENF- UNION lOIV NOMINEES!

to an end. Sly was now at the top of a huge vault, the ladder suspended in midair. Below was a ridiculously

~long drop. lf Sly had been

more knowledgable, he would have felt like a mos- quito on top of a filament in- side of a light bulb. He look-

. ed around again.

A thin rope hung far beyond arm’s length. Without a second thought, Sly leapt into the air - - and barely reached the rope. He swung for a few seconds and let go, falling. By semidivine intervention by the narrator, he fell through a miniscule gap in the wall of the Light Bulb, slid down a twisting ramp, and landed on a pile of cushions.

“ls that you, what’s-your— name?” cried a voice.

“Who?” Sly cringed at the presence of another human.

“Yes, it is! Dimwilt! Can’t you remember me? Drudge!”

“The human torments me. Oh!”

“Dimwilt, what has hap- pened to your rude, im- penetrable shell?"

“lt was too small. Do not torment me. Oh!"

“Stop wailing like a Caliban! Where are you go- ing?" '

The Outside World. Oh!”

“I've found it! We have noth’ing here! Let’s go! Come on!”

So, Sly followed Drudge into yet another passage. Drudge bounced off the walls, literally, as he skip-

D/m‘wi/t

‘\

‘ 1:..-I',-.-'-

ped, leapt, and jumped recklessly.

Many days later, they stopped to rest.

Superhuman endurance

has its limits, of course. Drudge had developed a headache from banging his head against the ceiling since he had lost his bat— tered crown, or cooking pot.

“I do think we've reached the limits of Imagination." cried Drudge.

‘ .stm-a; »-

gas.‘

“Don’t be sot-happy. I' there all the time,” groanéd Dimwilt. '

“l’m serious! Anything you want so will be!"

"Ihen, let's get out of here. Whatever happened to Reality?”

_ ,

f g_-.thl$ place a (then! We'll find it! Come on!”

“lhate this. I hate this; I hate this; I hate this!"

(To be continued “despite Sly’s protests.)

Escaping poison in Cupid’s arrws

Soon spring will be here.. The flowers will bloom, the lake will thaw and the bird will fly. '

So will Cupid’s arrows.

It’s that time of year when the students' thoughts turn to a more distracting pastime; namely, the op- posite sex.

Some students ward off this temptation by buring their hearts in books, papers and assignments, while others walk around in a heavenly daze.

An arrow can hit any time or place.

Without warning, an ar- row strikes its target — ping — hitting a girl sitting in class when a guy walks in.

She gives a slight gasp, her heartbeat increases, her lips part a little, and a flow of warmth spreads through her body.

She sits up a little

straighter, puts her hand to .

her h’ead‘to make sure her hair is in place, all the while thinking, "Oh! What a hunk! I didn’t know he was in my class. I wonder if he has a girlfriend. Maybe... He won’t... He looked at me! What dreamboat eyes. We got a chance! Besides, he has a cute wiggle...

At the same time, the ar-

. [INK

“ii/mes WITHELD To PROTECT ‘t'HOSE wvocvew

AM. A VERY

row seems to have struck the guy who walked in. He suffers similar symptoms of the love arrow increased heartbeat, widening of the eyes, and a flow of warmth.

Thoughts! “What a fox! That sweater is a turn on! Should I ask her out? I bet she has a boyfriend, Lucky boyfriend. She wouldn’t go out with me, my nose is too big...She said “Hi!” I've got it made.”

Love at first sight!

This may last a week, two months, if you’re fortunate enough, a lifetime.

But sometimes one of those arrows falls out, and one person loses interest.

The other partner doesn’t understand. And soon that love turns to frustration, anger, and hate.

He or she will sink into gloom, trying to figure out,

. “What did l do wrong? Was

it something I said? How

a

can they put me through this misery?"

Tension builds up bet- ween the two every time they meet: in the hallway, in class, in residence.

This build-up of tension is the basis for' hate, and avoidance of the other part- ner becomes a priority.

So much hate is built up that communication is almost impossible, because the individuals' ego or pride is hurt.

People are very sentimen- tal and have strong feelings for the other person, even after the breakup of a romance. They just can't seem to let go of the person emotionally. That's why so- meone can hold on to emo- tions for a long time.

There are other fish in the sea, this is often difficult to get across to a person who has suffered a breakup.

The person has set up an

emotional wall which is hard to penetrate because of so deep a self-absorption that nothing else matters. It can go to the extreme of refusing to eat. _

Before you get all wrap- ped_up in your emotions, swallow your pride and try to talk to your ex-partner.

“But my ex won’t talk to me!”

Then don't waste your breath. You know you tried to talk, and you were willing to communicate. You tried your best. Nobody will deny it.

If your ex is willing to talk, take advantage of it. Find out why there was a breakup. It may be painful now, but you won’t make the same mistake the next time, and you will be easier to live with.

Ask yourself, by ‘the way...“Will it really matter in a hundred years?"

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