'

the UPEI‘SUN,AMerch 4, 1982, page 5 ‘ ,

FLA H . From SUN 3 Forergn Correspondent ” After absentmindedly straying into the Offices »of the Student Activist NrNtnemt, the Hunters and Anglers, and Guelph Gay “Equality, Adelbert finally reached the Registration office on Level 3 Via Staircase 5. He fearlessly tugged open the door, only' to be swept halfway back down the stairs by’the 'torrent of students leaving the premises. When Adelbert eventually gained entry to the Registration office,, he was again struck dumb with awe. A room the size of the ground floor of UPEI‘s Barn was sectioned off by scores of abominable ~ yellow dividers. ,Signs ’ designating the function of each area hung from the ceiling in such a manner that Adelbert bumped into at least thirty persons- as he stunbled arOund reading them.

The lineups were interminable. After standing for fifty—five minutes in the Drop/Add Courses line, Adelbert rrealized that he was in the' wrong one.i He then Spent

never referred to as Engineering studegts? — UG's feud sinners between ' the Aggies and the Artsies) Was room enough to park a Beetle but certainly not enough to park a tank-. Finally, in the most remote corner of campus... _ Adelbert's next quest _ was to discover which of the five or six tall concrete structures on campus was the University Centre. Eventually, after unplanned tours of all seven levels ’ of the Library, and all nine floors of the Arts Building, our fearless eXplorer a- entered the UC. A Today Adelbert would 'be only an ossified monument to the curiosity[ of man gazing in awestruck "wonder, had not a surge of students elbowed inabehind him. The UC was ah amazing zoo to the young man fronrANonton. It seemed like the hub of"a busy community, home of the .Whippletree restaurant (tres classy), a hairdresser's salon (tres eXpensive), Mailboxes in which off

friends the thrills and adventures Of recent holidays, registration at UG is tedious and ill- managed. How tedious

you ask? well, gather 'round all my friends,

and lend, an ear to the

tale of Adelbert-of Avonton, one dear young soul who just barely survived the

rigors of Registration.

Having applied for admission~ . into UG a full Honth prior ‘ to Christmas, Adelbert failed to comprehend why he had received no word of acceptance within due time, fully aware that universities had of late been plunged into dire financial straits. Now, non nor beast can be _ could dear Adelbert under— caljoled into dashing off stand.why it took two days impressive epistles of wit to reach anyone in the and wisdom, I agreed out Admissions Office by of sympathy to write a line telephone. Not heeding this or two posed as the SUN's tardiness as ample‘warning .Foreign Correspondent frcnl of future difficulties, the city of Guelph, ' Adelbert departed for Guelph ‘ Ontario. Here is my first with marvellous intentions report: of registering with time to After blundering spare before his afternoon arOund much in the manner class. Judging from past i of Inspector Clouseau, I experience, Adelbert assumed have concluded that the that no person worthy of the natives of Guelph's ivory student profession would be camPUS students receive.on . 4 n_ y y .3, towers are friendly, quite out of bed before 11 a.m. If campus mail(tres-ordinary),f . ninetyrtnxynuhutes‘in;the;21¢_ unlike the snObbiSh and I he arrived by 9 a.m. therefore,the university administration . second ICW”df'b0dieS}'ahdr”' impersonal stereotype Adelbert reasoned that (tres bumbling), all student "Was next toube waited on attached to those attending registration should pass organization (tres radical) then the Wicker gate Closed Host large institutions. like a dream.r Miscalculation and the Canadian Imperialist and the Staff left for the These scholars kindly point #1 fOr Adelbert. " Bank Of Commerce, When day. -A thoroughly disgusted out distant nooks where the ‘ After an unscheduled. Adelbert had resurfaced to AGElbert whipped arOund and

. Greetings from John Galt's city on the banks of the Speed River, _ strategically located in Prince Billy's Land, the heart of the Kingdom's industrial wasteland. . This is the area praised glowingly in song as a place to stand «where man can even walk on the water) and a place to grow(in the shadows of concrete erections), even now that the milk and the honey which once rose so freely have dried up and moved westward.

Knowing all too well the agonies suffered by an editor when neither

reality, he was forced to

facilities are concealed, self-conducted tour of the and politely refrain from

wild outbursts of laughter

1100 acre campus, Adelbert

finally distinguished

when you walk into the wrong between a myriad of

classroom every day for

two consecutive weeks. It

is unfortunate, however, that the same compliment cannot be paid to the bureaucratic process at the University of Guelph. The prime example of recent administrative bumbling that springs to mind is Registration. Unlike UPEI, where Registration Day is a wonderful opportunity to

visitor and student parking lots,. His next discovery, however, banished any hope of finding a parking spot close to classes, for— amidst the Hendas and the piCk—up trucks (pick-ups in central Canada?) ' Remember that UG is

renowned for its Agricultural eat frdm one of the UNLS many-

College. Where UPEI's feud broils between the

Engineers and the Biology 7*

turn down his hearing aid, for it sounded as if all full—time students were gathered in the UC. abounded in all pOSitions; some Of those stretched on couches in the lounges looked as if they had been snoring there since John Galt founded Guelph in 1827. Realizing that

lunch time was long overdue,

Adelbert grabbed a bite to

snack bars and resumed his

search for.. what was it? ..

ah yes, the Registration

Bodies

. was about to rush out when

the tall redheaded female behind him asked if he'd join her downstairs. A puzzled Adelbert agreed and folloWed her doWn a,

' flight of stairs, and what

to his wondering eye should appear, but a few hundred students in a pub drinking beer. \ ‘So, my dear friends, you have anginkling of the 7“ trials inflicted upon those , registering at UG. Take » heed from the experience of young Adelberthf Avonton, and next tine, ﬁre-Register.

By our beloved old ed,’ , Maureen Hartman-

MOVIES

‘ r FRIDAY 2:00 pun“: .i --

office.

rehash with longtime student -thy are they

morn "Tum-mom ‘ B ‘ I “‘2 E . '

im ‘ Sworn; STEAKHOUS

Fﬂnllluulmlﬂu'uumihnk Char-broiled steaks and burgers

K-MART PLAZA

lg L Ph.

E (SPECIAL muons BOTH insets)

CRRZ‘) HAT

N‘TEWED’ . 'e

. Oyternpon

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