UPEI STUDENT NEWSPAPER

SEPTEMBER 25, 2002

editor-in-chief Matt “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan” STEWART

production manager Thomas “Boondock Saints” LLOYD

copy editor Catherine “When Harry Met Sally...” SWEET

news editor Tara “Cocktail” STEWART-STANLEY

entertainment editor Brodie “Dirty Work” MacRAE

sports editor Alex “So I Married an Axe-Murderer” FIELD

photographer Brad “Summer Of Sam” DEIGHAN

reporter Mariéve “All That Jazz” MACGREGOR Julie “The Wrong Guy” VEINOT

advertising manager Natasha “Peanut Butter Solution” MacKINNON distribution manager VACANT

contributors Josh “I Am Sam” UNDERHAY Scott “Matrix” FLEMMING Jonathan “Waterworld” SMITH

The Cadre is the official newspaper of the UPEI Student Union. 2,000 copies of The Cadre are printed 10 times per semester. There are meetings open to anyone Mondays at 4:30 in room 213 in the new Student Union Centre.

The deadline for submissions is Friday at 4:00 PM.

The opinions expressed within The Cadre do not necessarily represent the views of UPEI or the UPEI Student Union Inc.

Letters to the editor: mjstewart@upei.ca

[2]

Editorial 3: Chicken-Balls, Ringing : Ears, and Comedians

Have you ever noticed the way that some people act at certain restaurants after the bars close? I'm thinking you must have. Unless you've been living under a rock or something. Or, of course, you could be one of the people that I'm going to write about in this editorial, in which case you probably have no idea how you've been acting. Keep reading.

Let's use a specific restaurant as an example here — just to make things a bit clearer. Umm... Is China Garden okay with everyone? Good. Let's go with China Garden. Also, let's assume that you are with a group of friends during this particular visit to China Garden. While it is true that I have dined alone at China Garden many times, and there's nothing wrong with that (at least that's what I tell myself), for the sake of this editorial, we will assume that you are the part of a larger group preparing to con- sume an egg-roll or two.

So, you've just finished enjoy- ing a night out in the rocking-down- town-core of everyone's favourite potato-city — Charlottetown. For one reason or another, you become over- come with the urge to consume some sort of greasy food. Let the games begin.

Upon arriving at China Garden you are greeted by a waiter or waitress who quickly shows you to your seat. You sit. A menu is placed at your fingertips, and ice-water is poured into a glass in front of you. For some reason, one or more of the members in your group may become overpowered by the desire to place one of the neatly-folded-napkins that accent your table on their heads. Please resist this urge.

Also, please keep in mind that talking loudly about "how much you

drank that night" will not impress peo- ple at other tables. Talking loudly about your favourite Simpsons episode or trying your best to recreate a classic Saturday Night Live sketch

_ will not impress people at other tables

either. In fact, the best way to impress people at other tables is to avoid talk- ing loudly altogether.

Acting like you are the only person who ever tried to be funny to your waiter/waitress will not impress people at other tables. Or your friends. Or your waiter/waitress. Or anybody else.

Acting like you are the only person who ever said, "I'll have combo number C", will not impress people at other tables. Or your friends. Or your waiter/waitress. Or anybody else.

It is best to remember that a Chinese Food Restaurant, at three-fif-

' teen in the morning, is not the best

time or place to make that ever-impor- tant "first contact" with that certain girl (or guy) who sits next to you in Anthropology class.

It is also best to remember that acting rude to the owner of the China Garden (or any other restaurant) _ may make you feel pretty cool at the time — but really all it makes you is a pathetic loud-mouth. _

So, there you have it — A little guide to after-bar-etiquette. Hopefully the next you find yourself seated at a table awaiting the arrival of egg-rolls and chicken-balls you'll remember this editorial. That is, as long as you fin- ished reading it— maybe you were too busy making a paper hat out of a napkin.

Matt Stewart, Editor-in-Chief