November 25,1997

The Cadre

I have been requested by Mike Drake, President, Soc/Anth Society; Student Rep, Soc/Anth Society; Sen- ate Representative, UPEISU; and Customer, KFC, to offer a formal and public apology to his department for my four pages of trash and lies. I will, with deep solemnity, attempt to do so.

I am sorry, Mr. Drake, that you do not consider the verbal abuse of this newspa- per’s Copy Editor a threat. | would hate to see what your definition of ‘threat’ is. I am sorry that you were not in- formed of all the visits to the newspaper’s office that your fellow students made. I can see how self-directed action by your cohorts would bother you.

I am sorry, Mr. Drake, that you do not trust the word of the Dean of Arts who, in an

interview, stated that students’ marks suffered due to taking sides in the Soc/Anth conflict. What does he know? He’s not the Student Representative.

I am sorry, Mr. Drake, that you think students fully realized the purpose the last year’s self-study. I fully un- derstand that the report, whose mandate did not include inter- nal strife, did not reflect those problems. If the report does not say that they exist, then they must not. I will promptly inform those in Soc/Anth that told me otherwise that they are wrong.

I am sorry, Mr. Drake, that I failed to realize the ac- cess that students had to the reviewers. According to your- self, “Students were allotted 2 to 4 hours with each reviewer to raise whatever concerns they had.” If we estimate the number of Soc/Anth full and

part-time students at 60, then it is quite noble of the reviewers toa lot 120 to 240 hours of their time for private interviews. If, however, you mean that the meeting was public, then! fully agree that each student would take their three minutes to stand up in front of everybody, including faculty, tocomplain about the department. Wouldn’t you?

To show my deeply-felt regret and humility, | invite you to do two things to repair your shattered honour. First, Mr. Drake, I ask that you join me in the Pit for a cup of coffee, my treat. There, in front of as many of your fellow students that you care to bring, | will publically respond to your charges. Armed with nothing but the official documents of the 300-page Soc/Anth file, | will help you pour over my articles line by line to unearth

IR

oa

CAPON ae

Prices Subject to Change

¢ Homemade Hand Tossed Pizza

the truth so that we may be set free. Please let me know when you are available.

If that does not suffice, Mr. Drake, then it is my duty to help you defend your God- given rights. There are laws that protect helpless victims of libel, like yourself, from preda- tors like me. I invite you to launch a lawsuit, on behalf of your department, against me for defamation of character. | offer to help you in any fund- raising you may require to round up the money for your legal bills. Let’s allow the courts of this province to de- termine what really took place over the last twenty years in the department of Sociology and Anthropology. Shall we?

Yet you and I both know that this will never happen, don’t we Mr. Drake. Why would your department and this administration allow you

“The Biggest Slice on the Island, Best Donairs in Town”

¢ Chicago Style Pizza

¢ Pizza, Donairs And More . ¢ Fast Delivery On J.R.'s Turf ¢ Open All Day Till Late Night

COA Ue tt AAMC ae iCiceh iat

No’ 899-3111

99

to start a public investigation that they themselves would not commit to?

Final score, insignificant.

Insignificant because there are no winners in this conflict — only losers. Just people like *Rachel and Dan Wolf who watched their hard work fly out their hospital win- dows. Just people like Wanda* and Geoffrey* who watched their marks drop because they had the temerity to voice their opinions. But I suppose they don’t matter.

Please accept these apologies, Mr. Drake. | only have the truth to work with, and sometimes it can get you into trouble. Be thatas it may, I want you to realize that, no matter what may come, I hon- estly and genuinely feel very, very sorry.

For you.

“Home Of The Massive Slice”