~~ SEPTEMBER 27, 2005

.... Student Union... Cont. from page 6 valuable asset to the organization.”

How valuable is Ms. Klein? Well, she acts as liaison to all clubs and societies on campus by ensuring regular communication between the union and these groups. She helps students organize new student groups, recruit new members to clubs and societies, and organize events of clubs and societies in conjunction with the events of the student union. Ellen acts as chair of the social committee, advises the Operation Manager (Kirk Dingwell) and coordinates winter carnival events. She also oversees the operation of all student campus media and promotional activities.

When asked “Do you feel you are able to influence members of the opposite sex more easily than before you had this position?” She muttered “No, not anymore than...No! Stupid.” It was clear by her blushing and body language that she was in fact lying.

”T love this job. I’m familiar with the environment due to experience. It is also my career choice so it seems like the road to follow.” said Vice President of Finance Dennis Cahill in expressing his fondness for the job. He attends Council Meetings as a non- voting member but does vote as a

‘ member of the Executive Committee. Mr. Cahill ensures that the financial records of the Union are properly kept. Dennis is responsible for keeping the Executive Committee informed of all issues that pertain to the finances of the Union. He also presents financial reports as the Council requires.

As you can see, this year’s executive have their hands full. If you come across the UPEISU executive, make sure to give them a hard time and ask them what’s new with Council. Just to make sure they’re still on the ball. They may have their squabbles, but they will always do their best to get the job done right.

... Rant... Cont. from page 5

infected with the BUBONIC PLAGUE. Yeah, it only killed like 137 million people back in the day. No worries. Morons.

Speaking of incompetence, the Charlottetown Police asked the public to be on the lookout last week after a 12-gauge camouflaged shotgun went missing from the gun cabinet at the Charlottetown Canadian Tire. When? “Oh, sometime between the 10" and the 19.” (Apparently Canadian Tire does not have the best shoplifting detection system). According to a report in the always non-biased and tiber- professional Guardian, there are only two people in the entire store that had access to the cabinet. Do you think these two people should be possible suspects? Of course not. “I think they just noticed it was missing.” Constable Gary Clow was quoted as saying. Hey went on to ask the public to keep an eye out for the gun. Thanks Gary. And sure, I’ll get right out there on the street tonight and do your job for you. Jerks.

Have a good one!

®)

ryangallant@hotmail.com

... Television Shows... Cont. from page 7

15 seconds. There would never be another long trial again, thanks to these brilliant, yet funny, cops and the #1 suspect always being guilty.

4) Single White Woman Working At a Job— Sitcom - There’s nothing funnier than a single white woman trying to make it in a man’s world. We could place this women in a demanding job, at say a magazine or a radio station,

and surround her with a set of original characters. There could be the male chauvinist boss, whom single white female secretly loves. We must be sure to include a catty black woman who will act as a foil to the boss, as well as terrify the nerdy white assistant who will

be played by either Andy Dick, or

THE CaprE ¢ 18

someone with a striking resemblance to Andy Dick. This will surely top the ratings because if everything I’ve seen on TV is true, there is nothing scarier, or funnier, than a minority with an attitude, except maybe a single white woman trying to make it in a man’s world.

BPE Setence hetonate

Options Les options

make alithe font toute

difference la différence

No matter what Peu importe

your university la nature de

education, you can vos études

enjoy a career with universitaires,

a difference in the VOUS POUvSe bénéficier d’une

¢ Pilots ¢ Doctors * Nurses

Canadian Forces.

* Pharmacists ¢ Naval Officers

To learn more, contact us today.

carriére différente _ dans les Forces canadiennes.

* Physiotherapists * Social Workers

* Ingénieurs

* Physiothérapeutes

¢ Travailleurs sociaux/ travailleuses sociales

¢ Pilotes

* Médecins

° Infirmiers/ infirmiéres

*« Pharmaciens/ pharmaciennes

¢ Officiers de marine

Pour obtenir

de plus amples renseignements, veuillez communiquer avec nous

dés aujourd’hui. —

Strong. Proud. Today’s Canadian Forces. Découvrez vos forces dans les Forces canadiennes.

1 800 856-8488 www.forces.ge.ca

Canada