_ _."_='1-1-'»=°=-'firwirisiw-cfm. ' <____"rHs_'-csonwifrnrowu GsA1V=pr;.o1___V _ _ "cy f

...f

'Rolifh en the Profoner,

‘The -mid-mannerea old gentle. msn who was staying with Mm, Slitiikins was sr geologist, and when

one morning his lnn<iiady's little son l.ni'orm_ed him that there was g, queer bid stone in cl neighboring

field. he was in high glee,

“Como along ond show it to me,"

he said, rnakim: his way t th

“I-I-I nln't; got time,0glr_?. 33563

the boy. and he began it hiuity re.

treot.

There were cattle in the held, but

the professor took no notice of them u_iltilV el terrible roar attracted his gfhhtion. and he sow it fierce bull advancing to greet him. It was o. Hear illillg. but the professor won by va. trouser-button. .On the other side Uf W0 hilfiss he was surprised to see the liindindy`s son. _ fjvoo little i~iiriii.»ini~ shouted tho'

Professor. “I believe you sent me into that field purposely. I expect, yall wanted to see me killed." dm§0f I didn ti Hifi it was mother ::Wh&t? gasped the professor. S_h€ card al. dog 'owling outsidq

our ouse last night, an’ as lt means f'l:ere'll be o, death soon, mother tiiought lt wus only right to try und- 'nve it out of the family."

“\\’hut color 1-yes d’ye like host,

iiilly'."'

“_(iice! 1 ihuinn. VVha»t color are

your-ii supposed to bo?"

_ A _ulerllcui professor wrote on the blucliiioord in his laboratory:

“I-‘rolfessor Wilson `informs his

students that he has this day been iippolntod honorary physician to His Majesty the King."

in the course of the morning he

had occasion to leilvc the room, and founil on ‘hgis return 'that some will; had :iililoil to the iiniiuncement the wi-rils: “God Save the King."

-"i‘llo judge ot it 'i‘i.-Kas county was

al.-,'ii cctslilier of the town bank. Ono

ii.iy ii stranger pri-sented il chcquo for pziynli-lit, find his cvidi-noe of idi_iiill`ioiilioli was not siitisfilctiwy.

"Why, ji1d;:c_" said thc man, “I'\'0

kiiolvu you io si-ntcnco mon io prlson oil no licttci' o\'lilellcc than luis! '

"'i`hat may lic true." replied thi-

_liidgt-, “but when it comes to lmnil- iili; out cold cash wo have to lic iiilglity careful,”

It was the dinner of the Puddlcton

\Vundoi'ers' Footbull Club, und thi- iiotiii- hud bcr-n round three timi.-s; thi- Jokes were flying fast and furl- UUS.

"lf it takes ii fooliiall tc-am nt dill-

ncr hull' ilu hour to out it hum. il0\‘f' lung will it tolic ihi-m to cat ii ham- iriiir'."‘ iisltcil thc lilllky but resoiircc- ful ceiliri--i`or\vurd.

"Tliut," promptly answered tho

smart little outsiilc-l'l_i:lli., "depends wilethrr thoy are professioiials oi* 'nnlxnor-chi-wore.” '

Mr. Arih`ur Roberts. thC fHm0“5

comcdlitll, ollcc il\'crt»_-il :i lliinlc in il thr-ili.re by il timely Jokv. Si1_Y1\l‘ ‘gi;¢-llnry hail caught fire,' ilnd thc smoll of burning :ilormcil the nu- diiince so much that il panic seemed lmminont. Ai this moment Mr. Ro- berts nppt-:ii'oil at the fontllghts and niiilrosili-il thi- spi-ctlitors. L\§_Slll`ii\K t-hum thorn was no dillil-T95 I EWG _you my will-il 'lf honor tiiere is H0 il:inil'er!" hr- said. _ Still the audience did not seem at 'nil ciinvlnci-rl. wllicll/it-il thc actor to - exolulill:

"Lnil_l¢-s ilnil gr-ntli-mon, confound

_“_lt_ nil. do you imiigliie____if there was

ony danger l’d ln- lu-ri-_ _

» Experience. __

"Q oil i-.luim the world is round.

sne;l‘)oii the skeptic. “How do YOU

i 1 it i. not srl\1f\r<f?" kqvliwecllillnsi- I have hnil too mnny in-_iuiiins with li." irrimlib :exiled Columbus.-»-Florirln Times- H0 -

1 truly de-

l l -l eilrti-il nm

Vx; s¢2`\¥n_€r; prciicher. who tim: tasted' but few of tho drinks _o _ __ world, took dinner with il hi? -n‘_l__k eu tammy' when n mrlnsiznnby ouch pilpoh was quietly set o _“__” -_ms Plate. in silence :ind hdnrr at-ted ms new vicar of Wiikefie_;_ qu

goggt, sod thc-n odds __ thank

.4

uhm, y_ou shoiiiri da__Y

Go for soo il sf-od ¢°W-

.» _,___-

of n wired to in it

pro- town

nppear: rehear- o'clock

yoilr

the ful - He will

MQ(-

_ii

. ~

Sorry H0 Bpokg.

An athletic pedestrian was re-

tuming home late one night when on evil-looking tramp accosted him, asking what the time migm he,

The sedesti-ion. feeling certain

that the fellow had iloaigng on his Wlltch. didliot hesitate. but deliver- ed a stinging blow on the mi1n's face, excisiming as he did suz-

‘It has struck one." The mon douhli.-d himself up. und.

nursing his battered nose in botih

»- \\_

\\ \` er

_ ",°

1

<\

, .Q-

t \- IA-»;L\'_

*~&"|*‘.*.‘\

_ -

if.

r ___L- _,___ ._/ ____ " ,i`

` ,i \‘l

‘ f - ~ .

$5 s_

“What a luck th‘ f - 1 _,il 'gn dldn't ask him ltlhe lxixlgle olanmliour =_"l"" -I'1’?""I-'ri u~ _ ..», r

_- ~ 49'. /:T /

Ai The Concert.

A concert was given by some amateur musicians tho other even-

ing. It was largely attended by tho " > 4 ‘ l, _| I 1' _

i ' _ - - l, '| _

general p\ibi1c. Ono young lady be-` _

1,-_ /- .'».j-- '- _ rv- 'L'

Y-ffl' if __ V 'fl

I i4.i, ii_

i lui i|Ii‘.|'i

I` HE

f- » ---~' _ The Power of Language.

“V

Y

\`\ \ \\

vm

._ `\

"You doi\'i. wiiril your ztiivloc prop-

erly," said thi- olil iiocior, "’1‘¢li her

_,_ ..,_ - /~‘ _ f ;» __ - - __

, __/5:/(i?T(;!/f__},f,~' ’ _ "I ului't get thot woman to 'tukc

"'. 5;?//Vf' ._'_f_/_.V4 _'_ (_ .._,»___.' ,f ':§'__;_ ._/// any fri-sh u_l1'," compluiileil the young

_ 5'/ ____ _ _ _:_ _ '_'-'_£,_.'_i_ _ Piiysicizin.

' ' ' - < ' r

~ J

to perilmhuleiti- ii ill iii the park, i lkilig copiillls lililuliitioliri of ozone.”

_ / _ _ _ _ _ _ :_

‘ ‘- - --\Vu_~slllili.:t<~." Ili-riilil. \

i / _

-~ \_.~_i -_ :_ _ __V_ I __ .I _ __.__i¢'i_" _ ssiuliti i tl iii

hands. ml.ir1lli1I'2d'- " M - ' ' ‘ ‘i_ " _ Fi '7 "l{ii\\' will you no iliioiil il?"

i _‘_ '*'/ '

_/fs V »_

.,-

-; _ \ `j»

..=_._°"; -- rar "

`__ ` _.__~'.5¢_- ~ ‘ _ -_ ” _ ‘ l

Tl; f°"Ecr; ."""i .'1- M A _ ` wi" "‘.‘°:-¢- i. _ . -' -.és--_"'_` -` m_\\_si- _ \ , ' ._ _~_\\.

" :T

” ~ -_ if

. iw i_» "

_ < i __ ‘_ _ _ _

l0l1Eil1K to one of the ilrst families, l {-If-. _ . -I J \ wii_h_ ri. large-slzcd mouth, sung a I ' '"7'-_li_ ' " ‘ “_ ` ' ’ _ l .

--l

selection from on Italian opera.

'_-' i___ _|i

____-_¢-____-_ __ _ ‘_ _ _'~_._ ____ .51 ~f,_§i_y_~ V_ _ _ _ _ __ __ _

__-___i_l_ \_V _,__:-'_ _v ‘.- riffii ' J/ if __ -' 74 Inconsistent Noise Fighter. _ ‘*_.__\__\ ._3\_ji_‘_\l 3,1 !»_.';; .1;_'» I __ ~,'¢'_ i ~__"'1_` iii 1 6 "i‘nl fs-'iii:i_-.: to sin;-i nn .\ilii Noisr " -' -’ " ‘ ‘» ` ~ iv" ~i=l~"-iivfr. "1 A.. -i ini," still ir .iii.

- ,if ‘ " ' \` ‘ ¢‘ , 1 "\\' _ - iii-il illiiii.; is lu ,ii iiii-

i-|' thi `i'.' ' I

liiiiilli- i_iti-:~--si, i li.i\'i» iilri-ii_iy oil- lgzigf-il ll lli` 'ii i_!-l.-‘~:l _-‘|»i~:ii<»-rs :lull :i l>i'a.~_s bailil." .\':is!lli::_;loil Star.

Tiilcncotl.

' "\Vh;\t iii-1-;;il:u oi’ that iil‘l_L7ilial

"/ \VilSull m:iZi lil _\iiiii' iii-l;:illio:‘l|i_.iiil'I

if ii ' i li . if l' y

\Vi> il ut li -1 ‘ :lllyihlli ii liilli _'iii

moi-o."

“_\'o; lii»'s vi-r_v iiiill ili.\\-iiil_ly:i_ iii-

lisl-ii-ll ii !'_li_'ifi' of l'i'~»sl-l-»:ll \Viisi|ll

,|_ _ i :ini hzlsift ilir-ii io sp-_-:lk sliico."~~

lit-'irolt i-‘ri-o l'i'i-_~1_~4.

whitrih _wits voclferously applauded, If '~ i '

Pill' CU ui' y by u stranger in one of " "" -

the front seitts. Turniil to his - . .. . . i ._ Tw° Sort' °_f op°"°i',°"" neighbm,_ Wnh whnm hg was not _ _ __ A \v())lr\i\'S Ql-lbb'| ION. _ _i si-c _t_l_i--_v liitci- iil*i<i';i.i»ii on il m.qun¢nted_ the stmngm, sm_d__ (_-ashler. I cn.n_n_ot cash this cheque, Mailnlli. i l_iiiail_i-l|_ilii_-I -_-oi H iii-:Ii __ li_i_ orili-i' to

“What beautiful teeth that young she: "why mn", ~‘ m`.l!(."‘ _" Whip' "0"" "l hfm'

litily has!" Cashier: “'l‘hc|-e isu't enough lu-rc to :noel ii.‘ ill ii isnt wlii-i-i~ lily il-_iil iisi-il to

olit-l‘ati- ilu llii- iii ili:il<<- ll in-iii-i' lilly

“i'm glad to hcnr yon shy g0_ 1; She: “Then i'uu‘t you illcet it hui

is_::\_ll_igh compliment to me."

‘ i. vou are tile oun' it 's

fiilthcr. You hflvc indcgil a sdhaliniliilig nvvhen we were nm"'i°d'" Summa dli\iglitci‘." the young-wife. “hc said lle inveil

Il_f1. 1_1: not 'ner father." mc with u lovc more enduring than

_r lro or.” _ ,_

"No. I am no relation i _ this Pvcrmstmg. gl-un\."."?`

hut I'in the iii-iltist who rl.‘\`c}:i"t£ilo:<l s`r,',A?gi\§,tt|`.]“1lI.l| g, ,ITSM queued uw ii-ctil you :ldmirc so much. I only yi-‘jf I.-1 LMI' 'th_ _ . .H-,_ 0hfl1‘l!0fl iiv-‘_ ;_'iilne_-:ls for them but _'ls ‘ _‘L mf( -- L wu»n[" “ " they have not ip- fd t 1 dryliilr, lu-i mais. it fliilut last mi

‘ LL" pu" “F Wt' loiig ns tl wood pzlvi-mc-iltl”

Johnny used to any his pmyrrs “If you r_l\<lil't *ako so much iii-

0\'¢“l'Y flight iiiiii "Sli fm' Yi ill-U9 iliiill’ icrcst ill horses you would be bt-tt(-i' brother. llut for it long ti-mc no off," gnappild Mrs. Growlcr. “You baby brother came along, and ull inive had horses on your brnln all lust hc stopped praying for one. your life.” soon lifter this his mother heoiime "I sul>iws<> that is how I hclirenod ill. ond the nurse tc-_-k Johnny in to to marry it nog." retorted Mr, Grow- sce her. She showed him twins. ler, his fvico anlbtlscndcd bt-hind tho

.lo_h_nny looked ut them at while and SD0l'lini»! l>fllJ0l`~

sazi :--- -

“It's lucky I stopped praying when "Yrs," sold tho lneek-looking

I did!" man, “1'\'c no doubt you'vc had

A Lancslsiiirc msn. wilo had iii-_ou mimo “rout hummg.. experiences in

fm. n mul, ruund tho world _“ms your tl~il\'t»l:`§ al»ri>.i_ll.

much annoyed \vi'_!l it rrport of his .,I~ m.w(` mdwd'_ ., rcturn which appeared ill it loonl ..‘§"n.;,n“'h‘l"ung‘l

pilpi-r. This roliort ended:- ~ _,Epi _, “F-liis nilnici-ous frli-lids ziro sur- ..'A\"'| h'Mr`].lU“t5n"‘V_“

prisoii that hc is iinllonged.” HU? c°“"""'

He did ii-it know thin. thc ofi‘L-ild- “OIL 'VUu,'“"“ mm" rouml "ml

or was the i-onlposltoi-_ who. in set- let my Wm’ "ik" yml h"“”'.°'h“m‘ “ng up thu x_0pm,t_ had omitted __ ini: :uid _liai-i.;‘;lill-liiiliiing with hor. hmm, ..c_.. “ms suhsmuung me Wum 'ilii_il you ll _il(_-_gln to .mow whut ri-:il “nnliiln;:o<l" for "uni:hain;_'cd." which m`u`t0ment "S‘ ' _

the ri-portcr had written. ` .

It was i’rlviitc Smitlrs (whoiw if -5-lib.. nuinber -was 254) first church ' ‘ I' ,3"1"" - """'_'~//I parade. und. having done ti good deal _ < i I __ _‘_ ____V_/ _ v

of marching, he wus naturally feel- ,__ \ /7 _'7_ _-'il

ing the effects-of it during the ser- _S-5`-_\'_ ""’ y].`fjV`* .4

/-/~ r. _- ' _

vice. He had not been in church __ _V ___

' /" ".,”'f_i§‘/5<1;>1'

5.2"" £45)

5'? "";f&-sl] _»;

sg#

i ’q_ffs~ 'lt

_ '/ fr-*“

loni.; when thc reverend gcntlcrniiii _ _ _ V announced the hymn-' _ ` `_-'I-__ " _ . . _;~i.L'

"Number 254. ‘Art thou weary. _.lv `°`““" _

_ - if

\§.

i

1-_aaa-.__, . 'I-

_A§;V ._

tirt thou languid?' " _l __ 5.. "li' Private Smith shdiltcd with it loud ri! '_i¢’_‘_-fr " ' if

voice: _ !",=’»" _ _ ` - .-

“Not ’urf!" ”° _ ‘ V if

""_` f" if _ " 7';

In :i recent hook Mllc. van Vorst _ ,I _ .5

tells zl story of ii dinner at Chiculgo ./'_ .Vjjf - - _~ f:5f_§

given by the iinlbltlous wife of ii 'f _ _ il II i inilllorlaiix-_ titnner. The lady noticed, yi'//'__'-_._ -_-___ __-_ tii hi-r oiilloyaiice. tllni. hi-r llushaiiil ff//_' ‘l ”’.°" "_§__¢:‘_ did not slit-all ii word to their smart ,__/L: ig-= I ._" _ _ gui-sts, auii wili-ii silo izot an oppor- "" _ "~»==ct"~;--»____‘_j__'-__f_-V__

wf}liii`hiib`]<i..iilil"§7il.)i‘il `ifiii1"iWm` Hull luslrr vlsrr. - ..Whm-S mi. gnorl',”' replied iilo Et-hel (noting with llorrortllc sow- tanuer. coin(-illptuoiisiy_ "Th<-ro ai1i’L (lust on the iloor)__.\lulnnia, does he om- of 'em as knows ii tiling about |,ut,_.he,- (|0||S-_> leather." __ #

I.o~'fl .»\l\'ci'stone‘s gilt of sniigiius lluslluild (thc father oi' six dangli-

sont the tourist on ills track. 'l‘li»cl'i‘ ters): “Clinic l‘.c-isa. there is a lg li lllilry that om- Sunday all .-\ni- gciitlt-mail in the di-awillg-room who 1-riiiull lildy .fittendcd thc morning waiits to inarry one of our iliiiigli-

si-l'\'lce :it SL Mary .-\lillott's_ Kell- ti:i's. llc is :l wine lui-i'cliunt."

sington, rind usked thi- vergr-r \Vlfc: “A wills- llli-i_'cllilnt'_’ lli-:lyoil

f ‘ liirlsii-'rs lu tho chrlii- bc- prulsst-il! 'l`li<--i llc \\'l‘I llc suri- to

which o .hc cl _ col wils thc 1.oi'rl Cllli-f Jlisilci-_ so.-it-ct one _lf the iilili-r l>railds_’

" _ l nl." re-illl-il that illgjiil- -i*

tilrxnliiliiliuis tho ('11.-hr. und th!-nl's Workétl fl10_0il1er Way- ihi-* ciiratcs. mid l'm thc \‘crg'cr; A \'i-i'_v olil ii-islllllilu one iluy but as for the choir-as long as thi-y ole-tiliiisllvd' :i frionil ily :lnilo\liic_lli;€ ‘mes {_l“>||- (Ingles wc ilon‘t lnrluiro that hi- w,iis iilioilt to get iiizirrli-d.

" “‘Vl' “l ill" "' init-l his i`i'ii:il<l.

into their hantecr-dc-nts. A -ill 1' \‘--\ i

._.__ "An old miln like you!" -

Too Practical. “\Vi-ll, you st-1-." thi- oiil man ox-

.»\merl<'ii_ thanks to tin- immortal plallioil. "ii.'_~i jii:~it llociiusc l’m gri-

Wright lil-others. lxarc fll'lni_: to thi- till' on oultl blioy now. "l`l:_; il fuliii- world; but France luis now form-il thing, Pat. io ll-_ivc it wifi- lit-ar yo ahead of Amcricit in _fl_\‘inl;. thc to close tllo i-yi.-s of y-_- \vll.n yi- rezison being that Ainericzi capital como to the ond.” and American energy will only busy “Ari‘ah, now, yo mild fiilo,” ex- themselves with things that lilly. claimed Pnl, "don‘t he so foolish!

Apropos of Amerlcll's present sor- What do ye know about it? Close

ry _place in tho world oi' flying ond yer eyes, iiuiudo! I‘vc liiid it cou-lilo its cause, Thomas A. Edison uttered o' thim, nii', fulthl they both of in New York the following cplgrnmt thim opened mln-oi"-Pittsburgih

"Wo don't fly well hi-reibecsusc Chronicili-Telegraph.

wo have too many prnctlcnl men. _ ._ Practical men, you know, Iiiugh nt A visitor to a stately nncestml

l ers of todily while home was boing sho n round by an

ne

iiiiy lgiglw 5-)ic)h from carrying on the _ old retainer. He pinned before a

work of the poor pioneers of yester- picture.

i’ \vay‘."' i

Muiic and Meals.

"l kliii\v," sill.l ilu- ri-siaiui':t\t~lii'_

“that ii grunt lllauy poiilili- iilili-iii io mu.-iii: willlo they uri- iliiiliig; but llicrii ari-‘at gl‘t~:il lilaiiy otlii.-l'.~i \\'llii like ii. i illlilll_ nt any i-ali-_ lilat lili- muriil i-i’l`i.-l:t i»i` iiiiisii: is giioil. l<`iii' llisiuliiri-, it l;l\'i.-s :iii itliiliispili-iw ot' 1`i'li-ililii-.ss---l iliiglit i-\'i-ii say ii-ii- ili-i‘lli-_ss to i-\'i-i'ylliiiii;'."

tloilill" snlil iillliliis. “’i‘r~llili-rlli-sei

is gooil. 1 wish yi»u'd ask your or- chestra lt-:iilt-r Lo try ll few bars oil this steak, will you?"

Cause and Effect. I" woiider wily lt is,," said llililzld, "thot so many of those socltll lights look so like illonki>ys."

"I fancy," said Cylliciis, “thot it is

because they ure such good climb- ers."

Wonderful.

"i\iinil. roaili'ng'? Nonsc-nsc~!" sold

Ililwkiils colliieillptiiiiiisly. “.\loilllng in li! l'll give yon ti-_ll dollars, .lini- nlt-rson, if yiiu'll ri-:lil my inlud ril.:iiL now. \Vh1it alll l ili‘lllklnl;'?"

“VVliy," said .liilillli~re-lim. f-ylul:

Iliiwkllls kc-only, “you are tlllilklul: iiizlt iilinil ri-zlillm: is pi‘l'f<~ct lion- st-usi-_ that iii:-rr is iiiisiilliii-ly ilotli- lut: lu it. allil that ilu-l-i-lore your ti-ii iliillzirs uri- pi-l"i'i-oily still-."

“ily .iilri-l" f-rii-ii ililwkins, paylllg

up llki- :i iw.-ilili-illiii:_ “'l‘liat‘s wou- <lol't`iil, Jlillilii-rsiinl You got it ox- :u-ily. lim-.' thc lllc-kr-_iis do you do li.'."' .,

All Economist. _

".\In\v_ look iii-ro, my l‘an_" said

the |>llil:iiltlll'oplst to ll lriiinp_ “ills-rc is no list- ni’ :til ill-le-liodioil fellow like you pnsslnl.; his days ln iillc-ness. (`Toini_- in my office and l'll iglvo-_voii work."

"'l‘iianl< you slr." szliil VV(-ilry; "lint

I'm afraid I c:in’t como. i’m tryin’ til koi-li my lnconlc- down under four thousunxl, so's I can save the incomc- tux."

- The Wise Physician. "My iidvlco io _vnu sir." szlld thi-

physiclan, :is ht- diiizrnosr-ii tho cas(-_ lai' thc dysp0pi.ic_ “is to chililgi- your hotel. Go over to tho ilcrrlnrrdalc and ll\'c for iiwlilic."

“\Vhy, d-octor." said tllr pat-it-nt.

“the food at the Derriilgdule-_ isn't any liettor than that at the Merrlng- ton!"

"I knnw‘that," said the physician;

“lint the l`it-rrlnl.:da|e is run on the Eurolieiin plan, and you hzflve to pay for whilt you cnt there, slr."

oi’ ini-."~» llolistiiii l'usi_

Good Business.

Airs. ltlf-li-»-“\Vii_v do you pay _vour

maiil Sui-ll iiwfiilly high \vi\i;'i-i-'_'

.\‘lr.~4_ lliixii- "Kill, it pays ill lilo

long run. Shi- lil-vi-r brl-alcs illusi- l-xpi-ii_-al\'i- \'.i:u-s :iiiy iniiri-_ fn-i` i'i~a|' wi- will i:ili'i- ll out iii thi- i-iid of thi- ulouill,» liilsion 'l`l'ililsi-rlpt.

°`<`L_ /

\\\. -

\\-. _ K; _

`_ \"+‘ \\ R

_

F3. f

_ x HN/

W vi/W7/17-#/4

~ -~ fs- ~

Y

_

' i

i. ..

I THE E ~ _

,-\

.1

i-;

`\

-_¢__,J

_\iu;:_i~ii'ii1i-: “You are 1-liall-gi-tl with in-ling; drunk und disorderly; Wlml

is yiiiii l\ililii~'."'

(`ullil-ii: “.".ii_"_l:_-s .\li~\'ii~ol .\l¢'Y\`iihil

.\lzi',',’i~iiiiii’: “l|‘iil--l \\`ili| |uiiil fm' your l|ql|or'I"

His View.

“im you bc-lli-\'i- that womi-n

iiugiii ii. \'i»ii-_'

“Still-I .\.'iii_ \\'li;i"'~i rlloiw-_ l Iiliult

ini-il iiu;.',llt ii., ii.ii."- iii-lriilt Fri-c l'i'i-.~:.<i_

Sweet.

lliliiii llow llliiii_\' liiliips of sugar

5-liiill l liiii iii _viiur i'ofi'i-i-‘.'

i"i-ailk -i>li_ llari- _lou min swi-oi

\'.'il_\'. :ls iisu:ll_ il--:ii‘. i'o'ilif~.';l Siiiii-_siil:iii_

The Automobile M'n Dines.

“\V:liii-r, l iloil'l \\'.int this iilio-_-si-_" “_\ii_vlllin;¢ wroil-,:_ sir?" "Irs loo .ilil_ |la\'i-ii'i you got _'lily

of ilu- lirlfl ilii>ili_-l'_"’ -~ Yonkers .Sizili-silliill.

Beats the Sewing Circle.

Jealousy.

i

"» "ls vi-iillu }.i'.<_ .\iiiili;i- _ic-~.ilo\is'."'

.siioiil-l s_i\' so. _.ilu-_ will hai'-ily

.- - - _ _-/__ » _ ‘I i /'I'///""1 l‘_-t hi-i' lllisinlliil ilsiz ilu- iirli-pililll\_-_

i

g__ *sp

~» -'_- ~.

" ii f Gibbs l i-all'i for the life of me

,' sei- wily \\'i»ii\i-ii arc taking such :in

/ '_`_ iiiti»ri~si i:i politics.

-5 / ' '-- " V- llllilis I trail, \\'l|i-il i ihillii of illi-

f polliit-iii si-nnilals. -- Spriiii;l’ll»lil

“_ ,_ l_'iiioii_

/ _

\ _

I \_ ' f __ __ _ Ons Drowhaci<._ _ _ I atm* _ ._ ___ .`_`_ __ i_ll_l __\i.<~ l_.i-L i_i_ii_ |l_u_ol us mono;

_} - ~,,,-.- i /:_-il../_,_ '_ \\ltll il.ii» liiol»ii.si_loli_

/ "-/_ "Just -il~_c tnltlli; vziliily l'rt\ni n

~ ff f///'"4' m`l!i\V'|l i ii i i 'i \ iii

,,`_ ____,, '_--_ ,‘ __ " i-ili'l ‘iw in ii mio, _- li >y

- yw i_»ili i_i__ |iu_t\: _:ill _-_<__< __ _iiil}il;;ii_<ii_lli

" " low _ .ou _~'.\'i i- oi 'ir'-.ii ii _

-_ _W///__ <;-ii. -~

~ _ ' '."` 1' '-1/-i

1’ 1 -“ _

_Jil ` _

-i J/ \

i ` /// \\ i

lit-i-:iil.~‘:~ slii- illlilks lli-_\‘iU. i_`cnii‘;\i.

_ siiililils so i\t'f-liallil null f:iln‘illui'_"---

_ » \ \\/:islllil;;toil Star. _ »~ ` `

‘i `t_\_ ._ _

_ \ ‘ Certainly.

\ ° _ “ What dons auto - sliggastltill

9 mi-.iii'." iisllrd i_i_iiiks.

“'l`llat's when your wife bi-gills lo

flgurt- out |lo~w min-ll you woulii sure

_ ` f in irai'-Faro ii` you had your own nia- ‘ <'hirii~," ri-plii-il _llnl<s.- -Cllli.-iunati

Iiniliiirt-1'. _

- . .. ii - - _ _

lliezmizttliiuitp .iii|¢IM:iil'(;‘x-\/ill gllgntiffili Q" uw Midway'

` I ,, n i °' ' “\\'c had to _let our gloss enter

-cuts In the train today

. ' ir -

lluile ;\_Ian: “\\iis there then ronin cf-wlmt w,,,,. ii,,_ ,,,,,m.,~;---

for you 'i’

Easy. Knickt-r~llo\v ilo you remember to wiiti-i' thc plunis wlloii your wife ls iuvay?

Booker--I keep 'em in the biltli-

tub,-.\'e\\' York Sun.

In the She Class.

Jock-I. st-c by this palpor that ii

shi[i'.~a lift-_ is i_\\'i-lily-i'l\'o yours.

Jon----Well. you lcilow, thc other

“shi-s" never go iiryouil twt-nty-elglii

5,,ml.1,_,_l_y V-_-_.l liliil to sign the

pli-ilgi-. iinil iii- c ii so stuck up hc W,,u|_ln'l ,»ii aii_\.`iiiii:; but mineral- Wtiti-r liotili-.<." lu-ii-.iii l~`rel-_ Press.

Thi: stlw-il-i_-l=:’lii i' li-ctiiri--‘ was

“-_l,_ln|_» \-i-|»_\- .¢l.ii|iii-ill on tho s.lci:|l iiroiili-lil, iiilil lui .l iiliilii-l' of oluvidli- tion lit- :ti-ski-il NS 1\liiil\'iil`i"3~'

--if yiiii saw ii l.i»i~rl_v _=r'=i\t!L‘m-iii.

drnsgi-il lil ilu- clotlli-s lllat' you

< i _

lvoiilu-_il for, i=i_<_‘l’l\lnL! fi"li\\ t.\~- nioiflr- i-or tllzli was proiiliccil li_\‘ _\'_i:il- liil»<ii'. ailil silloklili; an l-`_i_;_v|iil.lil cigarct

- ' -iulii lu- sill~l\‘;n:r, \vh.ii.

_ iii.it you ii

years.--Yonkers S tatf.snlun_

__ _f ..¢_. __.__*s

oilizllt you to Sli' i0 lliiii'-7'

'l‘lli»l-i- was sill-noi- for il nionleni.

illlil iliieli thi- pllilnig volt-v ui' ai lciil at thi- buck oi' t‘|i- 1-i'owil i‘\‘liii0¢13"“

, ' /ii "1.-i‘°4~;-fir' _ "llavc yu ony 1:l_uai'i‘t l\l.:liii'i¢9?’°

' - 1.- -_ /- ‘~/~ i. f ,/_

_ .'/1 __ ~" ku '-3_g____'- /19 _ M. _ - ' '-¢_¢§‘f-/_f::-1~T`_Il~' r vi fi. ‘\ was in thi: i_'oiilini~;'i-in!-i‘iii.iil

. ‘/»_»~zf.-- s -2 lf. ,. /_~ on li il '

,_ _-V__ 115;; ` _, .»._..,_,,_"-» ,X -_$1 _i _ »'_` '~- ~\""-1* ‘ _ 5 and ihi- talk hiiil iui'_ni-il io ll;-il*-i. 'l _ " .»‘f' ' , /_ "'_€<‘ _ 'l _»` " _if/`._"f _- _ " ~ Al: '"1'-iililiiir _<_-f bins' i~~l\\_\\'\_<<~<i thi; l -_ -_/ ,'» _ / ' _ ” j_i tg i5_ V~ -_.i/_f,_...;_-_ `¢ _ M _.\in<-i-lc.iil, ri-minds mi- of .ln oi

_'.- i. ' _.L "V '_ _' '_,l Ll Y _ 's ,f _‘»~`i _ - lm" my ilitil once liaii oil thi-_ farm out

-.` "/ .I _'lf '////Q” 5"" '?°""' / J 'V liiikotii. Sho woiilil ilaii-ii out

/’ -'y' ~_ ` l ailyiliiillr from il tt-nnls-liiill in ii ,;.__ 5:14/ f ,_/~ i_ `1%'.\ _ $ /'-1' it-inon. \\'lly, iilli- ilily sho shit on .i

" nf " , liliwd of ici- and hatched out two

/i . g

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. ?\*`§\ *_ _»\_.;;_~& wxex

_ .\ "~`*~“ ;é.

xi ‘ _

`?/:f§\,¢ 1' {f_»’_'{f_':;:/_ ___ 4( . . _,.,.

quarts of hot wilii-r."

"Thai iloi\i\n't <-iinlr up io :i cliiil-

fiiotoil hi-ll lily olil iliotlicr ont:-~ had." rolllarlli-il lilo lrlsllinun. "’1`hi~y hilil bi-i-ii i'i-i-illllg iii-i' by mlstaki- on _\»'iw- iliist ilisti-nil oi’ oatmeal. Woli. sor. slit- liiiil lvl-i-ive <-uns. and H-it oil illlin_ and \\'li<-il they ililtr‘li<-il, li<"~'~li'- ru, i-li-vi-n of ilu- cllioltvlis ilaiil \\'o-,\ii- i-ii liil:_~= iiilil thi- twi-lftli wus _\ wooll-

_,._ ,' -_i _ _- _ |ii-l-lu-l'i ‘gif ‘”*` v"‘(;' I f impossibility.

'I /,- li

ga

I /ri

r

\'o miill L in si ivi- twii nulstcrs.

"»' -' " .i __ _ _ -' .Z/-~~~,_ / ' - ' ~

- l r il who was

oiii~-i\<--l till- giuii lm so

’ AGW/ \' i- tiiil: lil pi illti-ilti il.\

il' I *_ _L ‘_'\ F '/ ' | ‘ i_'Yi` i- - .' -' ' --i ioiiiw ii." .-i.,»ii.>il i'..ni-ioi isis.

' ' ~ I r li lnly_"--- Cin-

` nnsr /Asn cuiisouz ` ' '

"I'ill iii hi-lo o »_i,ri cii.niiti l-Dill llircr

‘ Ex““mte!" he exclaimed' mp' "Why not go for your holiday where we went last. year? lt‘s A glorious 'rff'-"W ‘» “"f`='“ ' "” “" ‘A ' '-""1-'ff -

` dw" ‘___ iiii-iiiiiii_v_ "Thin most he on old

I Society Hollow? muster.

Stuyvesant Fish‘s beautiful Newport "'tiiin‘t on old muster-it’s im old residence, the hostess said: _ - mlssus!"

"Yes the nouveaux riches spend --

enormous sums in their effort to _ "I cannot winderstand why my enter New York society. second husband is so festidious."

"They come from Oshkosh, Kala- confessed il. Glasgow lady to her

mazqo, the ends of the enrth. They bosomV friend. "Ho scarcely cats

id hit nieces in Fifth-/iwenue, anything. 'ily ilrst husband. who

bul W e D _ - ' - ~ overlooking the pitrk. Then the died, used to eat everything I cook-

biittie begins--the battle thot is to ed for him. conquer society. V "Did you toll your present hus-

"They don't care what they spend-_ band thnt'."' `

Such concerts as they gl-_lie after din- "Yes,"

ner! Cnruso, Yimye, ary Gnrden. “'l‘hat's the ronson!"

Fiirrar-notlllnK is wo sl-md for _°-"i"

Caused A Frost.

th§€ln‘li'iere’s it story about one of these "Whitt caused the coolnels bo- nouveiiux rich families. The dough- tween you iinii that young doctor? ter of the house, so the story goes. I thought you were 0l18‘£\8efl7" gold to her _muitlmillion ire porin: "His writing in rather ilkgihie.

i. -on gather, how can ou soy that Ho sent._n\e il note for 1,000 kisses."

_New York society is hollow? "Weill _

"The om man gave ii loud coarse I thought it wus rl nrt-scriptlon

laugh and took it to be illlrn'-lndlann

...why ghouidn't I say that lie: Normal Advance.

et is hollow? he ore '.. -'-°-

:?~3,ln[¢¥n‘t 1 oily it. eh? By Dldn't Wont to bo Loft Alone. 3ml».,,_ 8|,.|_ y,-,“»¢ ,gy it yourself if _"James, there'| il burglar down- yoii hoo to piiy for the champagne mii-ri rm going for hop." __ it takes to fill the crowd at our ver- flwsit a. minute. I'il go with you. mn Inman... ' -Ha.rpor'a Mannine.

.. plac . ' . __ _ _ _ __ _ _ ___V ___ _ _

.itsiiingheon ot“Crf»=swayS."Mf=- “N°- Sir." the siiids 1'-Gr-lied: I " _ ' “ ` ' ' ` 1 ' _ “ - ,"--1,,-;_»,,"'__ ` ~ ` .

/ ‘ //g/_ 4.' /"/if Vkic-_:_ ` _ _,tn __

.//'J / _ ‘.1 '|"’_ i

;

Timely Aid. _ _

_-\n olo 1-oiori-d wmnun came into

:i \'Vil§slii2l|_"*_\il i‘i‘:il usliitc otiice ilu! oilivr il:|y iiiifi wnri l'i-i.'og1liZeid ns ll. tl-iiiiili of :l small iloueio thot had hi-i-ollle illlii-ll l-iicliulici-ci in value by ri-ihsoii iif ii iii-iv union stntion lh tizilt |i<~li;'liiiol'ilooil_

“l.oi.li iii-i-if, .luiitif-, wc are going

to ralsi- your reili this month." the iligoiit l'i-iliiirki-il briskly.

“‘lJi-vii, au' .»\h's gliui to hear dnt.

i~ii»_|l," lll~- olil \\'iiil'i:iii ri>|»iii~d, duck- iiil: lu-i- lil-:lit piilitoly. "Mighty glad. fo' sllu‘_ ciisi- .»\ di-s come lil hyah tciwluy tr-r ti-`il yo' at- ilill All cuuidil't i1l_l.~ii- lllt ills moiitli_"-~- Ii-l1rper's Mugiizino.

Enicrpricing.

'l`lic lion(-si fririlli-r who took ln

suniilii-_r b<i:ll-iii-rs greeted the new iii'rl\'als with truly rural enthusiasm.

“I uw-ilil, 1`ni right ilzown glud to

mimi yin" lil- <_‘i'i-_-il as lic cxlclldrd his lioiily lliind. "lli.-o\v's th' folks to

liiiill?"

'l`hi- illiiil of ilu- party looked ut

illi~ imiiiiisiasi with some suspicion.

"l~':iinli-1'," lic said, "your dlulcct

siliingly ri-iniiid-i mt- of the stage

viii-li»i_\'.

'l`lii~ ag'rli-iiliiirist fgrlilnoil.

"li’s fill ii;;\ii. iln't it?" hi- asked.

“I mill- :lil :it-till' i'i-iii-r a lllnllth's\ liiuiril ini' iw U-i=:i\ it LU |112."- (`ii»\'ol:li:vl l’lulll l)o;tl0i'.

--» V__ _v-.;‘ , -

.-fit,” 'ga -- ., __ gl. ‘_ --_‘_'¢.‘.~ ~' '--t

i\ '

I "_-r-~ f"

‘"‘ f - ‘_ -if it

T-\`

__-M __ _

ii-_;..~;;T_`_'-':_ __ ___-""'“"-__ -rss _ ._ _\ >-:'. _ ,

f _`_\-' - _ .-: v ' Y ' *

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sl.-"*’ .__ .1 _ -_ sr V _

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iw ‘ V -L_,

“You might let, nic have the car

i'or un hour. Uncle."

“All right, lily boy, you can have

it." f

“Anil I' say. can you let inc have

the price oi' n couple oi' ihies or so'."' ________...______-

Reckless Spangler.

siiliiit-ode~"lt coins nlo $25,000 a

your io live."

liiiss Cilustifiur---"IIow fool-lshly

some piiopii- spend their money!"- I'iiili\dclphlii Rvcoril.

Weather Nota

A hoary liunvh of clouds passed

over lloi.:wallo'.v yesterday bouild for il Sliiiilly-sch.-ol picnic in pro-

gi-oss l-lar Ryo Straw-Paducah 1~|i»g\\'all iw Kciitiickiiul.

i\lgy‘s Moths-r---"I' suppose yer

gitilil' il good thc, slr, for iitt.endlii‘ to ilu- rlizli Smith boy?"

Dfiotor---“\Vell, yes, I get A Sretty

gooil foo; but why are you asking?"

,\li;y's Mother---"Well, I 'ope yer

wiin't forgot tinlt my little Aigy tliruw thi- brick ihiit ‘it 'lnii"

A nlliilstvr opened his Sunday

5(-hool clflss with thc well-known lil-nm, “Little drops of--water. little graini of Blind." In thi-_ middle of thi- first vers-ic he stopped the sing- ing nnil ieompliililoil strongly of the half hi-iirti-il iliitnner ln which ii. was rl-iiilorcil, lii- inilili- ii fresh start.

"Now, tlli-n." he shouted, "»'Ll].`tie

ilriips of il-liter.” and for goodness’ soltc put some spirit into iii"

____.Z_-|__l--

:.- “f_:.f'::":f:--';fz":-°'__ _ _._..______..»

° _ l

e 'I‘h h the -c are sim I --gorgeous” _ _ _ » ,_,__4,,_-__, ,__ __.,,._____.__;___.

One Lennon Learned.

"Now, Mamie," silid the teacher.

"which is the correct form-the dog and the cnt is there, or the dog and the cat ure there?"

"The dog and the cat is there."

said Mum-io.

Some Retort.

"You are in-Mins very hold, sir."

sold the biirher.

"You, yourself," retortod the cus-

tomer, "are not free from n number of defects that 1 could mention if_ 1

--whniyii ¢|-led the tmchu-_ cared to become persons.l."--Louis- --ygggumy Bald Mamlm ohccnuge villo Courier-Joilrniil. sh there is slung, miritm, and nice _ - _

- Dil o ra in

little goyls don’t use it.' - Horace ___ ° U I G- Dodd GEMM Success will come to any one who

____,. The Wrong Huncll.

“Yesé_’_ he was saying, "ss il mat-

ter of ct, a mon ‘doen|i't learn what happiness really is until he ll mor- ried."

"I'm glad yoii‘ve discovered that

at last,” replied she. with vision! of immediate proposal.

‘fYes," he continued: "sud when

ho‘s married li's too late_"--Bri1ok- lyn Eagle.

Perfect.

"Binks appears to l-live riscn hiil

in the world."

“Yesl he is 'even above reproloh."

»-Buffalo Express. _

porscveres.”

"I don't know about tihat. I'\'c

been married for ten years now, and my husband hrisn't liked anything I've had for dinner yet."-Louisville Courier-Journal.

The old gentle-mnn's ili’tr\r-iiinnr-r

nop had in-i-ii spoiled hy tho Gr-rmiin blind nt thc cornor of the sir:-ct. nnii when il biindsman knock:-ii nt his door he we-nt himsr-lf, ilnil angrily ilnnuunci'-ll that they would get noth- ing out oi' him. “You gli us nodlngs?" solll the miisiciiin. "Achl den ve biny some more!"

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_<o¢»_~s,ssf mi-_

_ . - _ , . _ _V

Rolxinalii (to ills gruiiiliitther. the gen:-ral): “I don't know, 'V ps,

but I reckon it‘s an swiuily lun-ii job to make up my mind WMI*

soldier like you or A sailor like old Peter Grigio!-

"it"l..

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