GNU acs Cookie
This is Real! Clip and Save!
[Someone sent this in from California, and we decided to ex- tend our campaign against in- formation hoarding to recipes as well as software. (Recipes are the closest thing, not involving com- puters, to software.)
The story appears to be a myth, according to the Chicago Tribune, which says that Mrs
Cream together:
Powder in a food processor:
Add to processor and mix well:
Mix in bowl:
Add:
Add:
mation completely.
Fields Cookies hoards the infor- Therefore, this recipe can be thought of as a compatible replacement. We. have reports that the cookies it makes are pretty good.]
Someone at PG&E called the Mrs. Fields Cookie office and re- quested the recipe for her cook-
Recipe
ies. They asked her for her charge card number, and she gave it to them thinking the cost would be
$15 to $25. It turned out to be
$200!
Therefore, this person is giv- ing the recipe to anyone and ev- eryone she knows (and doesn’t know) so that someone can get use of her $200. Anyway, just keep passing it on.
1 cup butter (0.51b or 225g)
1 cup sugar (225mL)
1 cup brown sugar (225mL)
eggs (beat with milk & vanilla)
tbsp milk (5m1) tsp vanilla (3mL)
.5 cups oatmeal (675mL) (5 minute kind)
cup flour (225mL) .5 tsp salt
tsp baking powder (3mL)
tsp baking soda (3mL)
All of the above
12 oz. (350g) bag of chocolate chips and 1 finely grated 8 oz (200g) Hershey bar (plain) (use RoseBuds if hershey bar unavailable)
1.5 cups chopped nuts (200g) (any kind)
On a lightly greased cookie sheet, place golf ball sized balls.
Space about two inches apart. minutes. DO NOT OVERBAKE.
on top when done. container.
Bake at 350 degrees for 8 - 10 Cookies will be only slightly brown Allow to cool before storing in a sealed Makes 60.
Sweet Susan’s Surprise
Submitter: Sammy
Silently staring sat’ sweet Su- San. She saw something sim- ply stunning. Standing selfishly solo, she spied Samuel S. Stan- ford. Superb specimen showing, Samuel stood stretching, scratch- ing, stroking, sighing softly. Su- san’s sexy shoulders shivered. She sensed something salacious, something sinful, something suit- ably satisfying. Samuel S. sent Sexual signals spiralling slowly skyward.
Savouring sundry strange sen- Sations, Susan surreptitiously stood, skimpy silt skirt slip- Ping somewhat. “Such splendid Stature,” she sighed, “ Such scin- tillating scenery.” Scarcely seven Steps separated Susan. Somehow
Shs p31 GG
‘stared solemnly,
she should signal Sam. She stud- ied several strategies. Should she speak? Should she shout? Should she scream?
She started stripping!
Sensing something, Samuel started. Scantily skirtless, Su- san stood; sexy silk stocking stretched so Samuel saw some- thing simply sensational! Samuel salivating slightly. Susan shrugged saucily sending satin shoulder straps slid- ing surely southward. “S-S- Some s-super s-s-set.” stuttered Sam stupidly, seeing sights sel- dom surpassed.
Seeing Samuel’s shattered serenity, Su- san smiled sweetly, speaking
soothingly. “So,” She said subtly, “Start seducing Sam.” Speechless,
Samuel stood stock still, swallow- ing. Susan summoned Sam sug- gestively. Sam’s six shooter stiff- ened significantly. Susan swayed sensuously. Scarcely surviving seven seconds silence, Sam sud- denly screamed, seed shooting startlingly skyward. “So sweet,” sighed Sam (suddenly sitting sat- isfied).
Singularly surprised, Susan stopped short, stunned. She started sobbing sadly, silvery streams staining shaking shoul- ders.
“Shit, Sam” she said sarcas- tically, “Some sensational seduc- tion scene!”
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Letter Found By a Germ Staffer
(Hope It Doesn’t
My Darling Heather/Julia,
‘You want to know how I re- ally feel about you? This is how Treally feel about you: The most burning question of our time is... How do I really feel about you? In an effort to answer this fiery inquiry, I’m sending you this true expression of my deepest feelings.
The way that I feel about you is strictly huge, gargantuan, mon- umental, epic; and bigger than a bread-box. Feelings like this can only be fully felt out of doors, preferably in football stadiums, or great empty places like the Magdelan Islands.
Aside from the immenseness of my feelings, there is the as- tonishing matter of their long- lastingness. This feeling I’m feel- ing is no passing fancy, no brief interlude, no mad whim. It makes the Leaning Tower of Pisa look like temporary housing. It makes Gibraltar look like a pet rock.
My feelings for you are defi- nitely bee-u-ti-ful! If I could set them to music, they’d sound like Beethoven’s 27th, if he had got- ten that far. If I cou:d show them in a painting, it could hang right up there with the best of them in the Halls of Montezuma.
The feeling of this feeling I’m feeling for you has affected me in weird and strange ways. I find that your very proximity can drive me absolutely bonkers, and even a brief view of your visage can set me adrift on a sea of seething emotions. You shiver my timbers, race my engine, ruffle my feathers, clear my sinuses!
There’s nothing run-of-the- mill about my feelings for you. They don’t follow the beaten path. They avoid the interstate. They’re unique! Romeo didn’t feel this way about Juliet, Bon- nie didn’t feel this way about Clyde, Frank didn’t feel this way about Bertha. Indeed, this feel- ing is wondrously strange, un- speakably beguiling, and breath- lessly bizarre!
Belong to You!)
I feel the way that I do about you because of your golden voice, your silvery laughter, your pearly teeth, your silky hair, and your eyes that flash like sapphires and diamonds. I wouldn’t trade you for a million... and it’s no won- der!
But more important than all that is the inner you. You’re so sensitive you could cry if you saw someone peel an onion — on TV! You’re so tasteful you could even like your oatmeal flambeed. You’re so cultured, you proba- bly only sing grand opera in the shower. With you I can really share the finer things in life... like barbecued escargots or chocolate- covered oysters.
Our relationship is as free as a tumbleweed in a Texas tornado... as easy as breathing (not valid in Los Angeles)... as loose as a hippo in a hot-tub.
And we really communicate. Our cosmic vibes really jibe. Our karmas are kindred. Our con- ciousness levels are on twin peaks. Whatever you say, I understand - and versa visa.
That’s why I know that ‘at long last, I can tell you how I re- ally feel about you. It’s been said so many ways, but when it comes to scintillating and succint sin- cerity, nothing beats these simple words:
You are the object of my af- fections, the light of my ife, the apple of my eye, the pearl in my oyster, the prize in my cereal box, the hot fudge on my sundae, the cream in my coffee. I only have eyes, ears, nose, and throat for you. My heart palpitates for your proximity. I worship the ground, pavement, indoor- outdoor carpeting, astroturf, and linoleum on which you walk.
And that is how I really feel about you!
(Whew!) Love Forever and Ever,