‘Are you a Paranoid

In today’s high stress world, where push often comes to shove over possesion of a seat on the overcrowded rush hour metro, it is no surprise that mental health problems abound in the world to- day. Many people find themselves questioning their own sanity on a daily basis. If you are one of these people, then the following quiz may be of some help to you.

1. When you listen to the ra- dio, are the announcers talking about you?

2. Do you constantly see can- did photographs of yourself on front pages of The Gem?

3. Do you insist on having someone else taste your cafeteria food before you eat it?

4. Do you wonder why all con- versation ceases whenever you en- ter a circle of people?

5. Are you naturally sus- picious of people who insist on

Schizophrenic?

shaking you hand when intro- duced to you for the first time?

6. When you watch television, are they showing pornographic videos of you and your lover?

7. When you meet new peo- ple, do you subconsciously check to see if your fly is open?

8. When you enter Duffy Am- phitheater, does everyone turn to look at you?

9. Do the stares of store man- nequins cause you to break out in a cold sweat?

10. Are you convinced that there is a CSIS stake-out sta- tioned in the apartment building across from your house?

11. Do men in dark suits wearing sunglasses follow you to all lectures and conferences?

12. Are all of the professors out to get you?

13. Are all of your required books on backorder?

14. Has all of your mail been opened before it is delivered to you?

15. After you have guests over for the evening, do you sweep the house for bugging devices?

16. Do the bouncers at the Barn hover over your left shoul- der?

17. When you use the public washrooms, is the same person al- ways in the stall next to you?

18. Do the rude comments in washrooms always have your phone number on them?

19. Is the tamper-resistent sealing on your Tylenol bottle al- ways missing?

20. Do you always sniff your armpits before entering a crowded room?

If the answer to all the above questions is “yes”, then you may be a paranoid schizophrenic.

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